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Original poster

Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

434 replies

Kittycat02 · 03/06/2025 08:26

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

OP posts:
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SouthLondonMum22 · 08/06/2025 22:37

Thistlewoman · 08/06/2025 22:22

Just wait.
Wait a couple of weeks. Then ALL your family can enjoy your news-brother and SIL included. Don't steal their day from them.

Announcing a pregnancy 2 weeks before a wedding day isn't stealing their day which is a whole 2 weeks away from them.

Thistlewoman · 08/06/2025 22:24

luckylavender · 03/06/2025 08:51

Ask the bride

Don't-the bride will feel obligated to say it's ok, even if she really doesn't think it is.

Thistlewoman · 08/06/2025 22:22

Just wait.
Wait a couple of weeks. Then ALL your family can enjoy your news-brother and SIL included. Don't steal their day from them.

Skybluepinky · 08/06/2025 10:56

Keep quiet life isn’t all about you.

InterestedDad37 · 07/06/2025 23:53

Depends how precious they are about weddings - I'd have been delighted for my sister, personally, and overjoyed at her news.

TatteredAndTorn · 07/06/2025 23:50

I would tell anyone you would tell pre 12 weeks as normal (for me that would be my best friend and parents (I don’t have siblings)). But save any wider announcement for after the wedding.

Tanjamaltija · 07/06/2025 21:25

Wait. Drink water and pretend it's gin. Drink orange juice and pretend it's gin and orange. Do not steal the limelight.

Overthinking22 · 07/06/2025 20:05

Make sure you’ve always got a GnT in hand, nobody will notice

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/06/2025 19:54

RachelBerry03 · 07/06/2025 18:24

Sorry but announcing your pregnancy two weeks before your brother’s wedding is a total no-go. Let the happy couple have their day in the limelight. Tell people you have a UTI if anyone asks. It will also explain why you’ll probably be constantly at the toilet, which was the giveaway for my pal when she was pregnant but hadn’t announced it at that point.

Their wedding day is going to be their day. Why do they need the 2 weeks before as well?

CallMeFlo · 07/06/2025 18:40

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 06/06/2025 13:46

Wait and just say you’re on antibiotics

You can drink with most anti biotics now

Really using that as an excuse you'd be as well wearing an im pregnant t shirt 😂

RachelBerry03 · 07/06/2025 18:24

Sorry but announcing your pregnancy two weeks before your brother’s wedding is a total no-go. Let the happy couple have their day in the limelight. Tell people you have a UTI if anyone asks. It will also explain why you’ll probably be constantly at the toilet, which was the giveaway for my pal when she was pregnant but hadn’t announced it at that point.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 06/06/2025 13:46

Wait and just say you’re on antibiotics

eastegg · 06/06/2025 13:46

NYSea · 06/06/2025 13:32

You simply cannot state that as fact

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No-one is seriously going to take that as fact though. It’s obviously the pp’s opinion on an opinion forum. A bit like saying ‘5am is early to get up in the morning’. Many would agree, some won’t, but there isn’t really any need to add ‘in my opinion’ because it’s obviously an opinion, albeit in both cases a fairly uncontroversial one.

NYSea · 06/06/2025 13:33

CommonAsMucklowe · 05/06/2025 13:52

You shouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks (or buy anything) wedding or not.

Who says?!

NYSea · 06/06/2025 13:32

Jk987 · 05/06/2025 21:32

I know it’s exciting but 8 weeks is really early to tell anyone.

You simply cannot state that as fact

eastegg · 06/06/2025 13:26

weareallcats · 05/06/2025 21:53

Thank you - it was over 10 years ago now, but still gives me a little pang when I think about it.

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Similar here. It will be 10 years this summer since mine. I was extremely lucky to go on to have another child at the grand old age of 43. Don’t know where I’d be otherwise.

T1Dmama · 06/06/2025 08:31

CommonAsMucklowe · 05/06/2025 13:52

You shouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks (or buy anything) wedding or not.

I disagree with this. I told my parents the day I found out I was pregnant.
It was too joyous an occasion not to share with them straight away.

T1Dmama · 06/06/2025 08:18

DappledThings · 05/06/2025 05:21

I just don't recognise this behaviour at all. Neither the idea that because someone is pregnant it dominates the conversation in any way, or that any significant time at a wedding is spent discussing the bride rather than generally catching up with people any enjoying it.

I've been pregnant at weddings. Didn't bring the subject up but if someone asked why I wasn't drinking (which they did) I gave my straightforward "I'm pregnant but it's early days so anything could happen" answer and that was the end of it. Also been at a wedding where someone else was 10 weeks and enough people noticed that she ended up doing the same. People spent as much time talking about their jobs and house moves and holidays as the pregnancies and, shock horror, the wedding itself.

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I think it’s often what the bride will perceive might happen rather than what will happen..
Lots may feel it will ‘steal their thunder’… doesn’t mean it actually will of course. Brides can be very sensitive after a year of planning and want the day to be perfect.
I didn’t care personally. As long as I was married at the end of it 😂

weareallcats · 05/06/2025 21:53

eastegg · 05/06/2025 10:42

Sorry for your loss.

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Thank you - it was over 10 years ago now, but still gives me a little pang when I think about it.

DappledThings · 05/06/2025 21:43

Pipsquiggle · 05/06/2025 21:40

@DappledThings great for you.

I've had 4 miscarriages around 8 weeks so I didn't tell any of my family until the first midwife appointment. We've all had different experiences

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Exactly. Which is why telling people with certainty it's too early isn't reasonable. It's not a universal fit. For many women it is, for many it isn't and nobody should he prescribing when it too early or not to anyone else.

Pipsquiggle · 05/06/2025 21:40

DappledThings · 05/06/2025 21:34

It isn't for everyone. It's fine to tell people wheneve you're happy to.

For me 8 weeks is late to tell family.

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@DappledThings great for you.

I've had 4 miscarriages around 8 weeks so I didn't tell any of my family until the first midwife appointment. We've all had different experiences

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/06/2025 21:35

Don't announce it. You risk a serious falling out with your DB for the sake of a couple of weeks.

I went to a wedding pregnant, before we'd told anyone, and got through it by both DP and I having matching glasses on the go - we just made sure to put them down next to each other, and DP always picked up the fuller one. So he drank both and I drank none, no one noticed. (I faked sipping for the actual toasts)

Then I was driving, and 'couldn't have any more' for the rest of the evening.

DappledThings · 05/06/2025 21:34

Jk987 · 05/06/2025 21:32

I know it’s exciting but 8 weeks is really early to tell anyone.

It isn't for everyone. It's fine to tell people wheneve you're happy to.

For me 8 weeks is late to tell family.

Jk987 · 05/06/2025 21:32

I know it’s exciting but 8 weeks is really early to tell anyone.

August1980 · 05/06/2025 21:30

i lost a baby at 9 weeks… probably just wait until 12 weeks…