To feel totally betrayed by my Maid of Honour

It all sounds very like something I went through with a girl who I thought I was very close to. She was the bride I was her chief bridesmaid. EVERYTHING I did, thinking I was doing the right things, she either didn't show up to or didn't cancel meaning I got phonecalls from very pissed off hairdressers, nail technicians etc. Her hen was a total disaster. Myself and the other girls organised a limo and it took her HALF AN HOUR to come out of the house, moaning to her mother that we must have something awful planned for her. On the day of the wedding, I was at her house on time and it was lashing with rain. She barely spoke to me but spent ages just staring out the window and when the photographs were ready, she told me I looked the same in every photograph.

It turns out she was deeply unhappy and not in love with the man she married, but as is typical of her, married him for his money as she CANNOT survive alone. Always has to have a man in her life. She began an affair with another man while on holiday with her husband, later divorced and married this man and moved away. She treats people terribly but somehow always seems to come up smelling of roses. But that's by the by.

Something was wrong. She wasn't happy. Maybe that's the case with your friend. Something else going on behind the scenes. Maybe she's insanely jealous if she isn't married herself. But reading your post just made me think of this awful experience. It went from bad to worse by the way. We had a planned holiday in place (long time ago) and she left me at the airport because 'she didn't know where her life was heading'. Translation 'she'd had a fight with her lover'. We are no longer friends. She is a selfish selfish cow.

Everything you describe could be explained away with her TTC maybe, or having a serious issue/something serious on her mind, they might not have had sex as nobody actually saw it, but the only thing I can’t explain away is her not contacting you since the wedding.
Let’s play devil’s advocate and say that they are TTC. She didn’t talk to anyone because she was preoccupied (ok, a bit selfish as she was the MOH!) and she didn’t talk have sex because she is TTC (although why in the bridal suite?!)
The shoes, yes, annoying but maybe she thought that this was somehow ok.
But why would she not be in contact since the wedding? I assume your wedding wasn’t yesterday, and a few days elapsed, so it’d be kinda expected from her to get in touch and say ‘congratulations’ or ‘I hope you had an amazing wedding day!’ Something along those lines.
Her silence speaks volumes and the whole thing together is not ok.
It’s sad but I’d not get in touch with her and unless she offers up an explanation that you can find acceptable without reservations, I’d write off this friendshit!

Are you new to mumsnet? We only get one side in 100% of the posts!…. We comment on what OP has told us not make up what ‘could have’ happened!

It’s all hearsay though isn’t it?

You had a lovely day. Focus on that. Get over it and move on .

@Swiftie1878 I'd love a backstory, it would make it clearer to me but honestly nope, we have been friends through so much & have both had pretty big ups & downs & stuck by each other.

She's honestly an amazing friend normally & she is so kind, this has completely thrown me.

The only change is this new partner, and my mum did say she saw him being harsh to my MOH, so I'm wondering if something is going on there that she hasn't shown me because she didn't want to burden me before my wedding but that is literally all I can think of.

Yes, we do need friends, but really, it's not a case of "a shit friend is better than no friend". If a "friend" of mine behaved like that on my wedding day that would be it, I would be ending the friendship. What is there to hear about her side of the story? She made choices, bad ones.

All these excuses - maybe it's her new boyfriend. Really?? It couldn't possibly be that she is just not a nice person, it always has to be a man's fault. In my many years on this earth I have met quite a few absolute bitches. However I live in the real world, not MN-land, where all women are saints who can do no wrong, and if they do it's "because of a man".

Forget her OP and enjoy your honeymoon and marriage. She's not worth a second though.

Sorry, TTC is NOT an excuse for bad behaviour, nor to not caring about much else. I can't believe the weird responses on here.

Thank goodness I people I know are nothing like a large number of MN posters!

Were you Bridezilla?

Put her out of your mid and be happy going forward in your new married life.

Definitely DON"t contact her and if it was me I wouldn't ever contact her either.

However I understand if you may want further contact. If she does make contact maybe ignore the first couple of times and then speak to her if she persists.

I consider your friendship is finished, "friends" like this don't get a second chance IMHO.

Sorry, TTC is NOT an excuse for bad behaviour, nor to not caring about much else. I can't believe the weird responses on here.

Thank goodness I people I know are nothing like a large number of MN posters!

Dude, just ask her to talk to you.

Im wondering if she had a thing for the groom and was jealous/angry he went through with the wedding?

@FromMissToMrs Some weird people on here almost looking for excuses for your MOH. She was totally out of order. And event the shoes - how tacky to think silver sparkly shoes would be suitable for a country wedding.

Also wish people posting would use the 'see all' (posts by the OP) first - bug bear of mine!!

Like you, I've always gone with what the bride suggested and you really shouldn't upstage the bride, nor wear the same thing.

To even be in your bridal suite is weird tbh.

I know you said there was no backstory, but has your MOH ever had a thing for your husband or where they together before you entered the stage?

Either way, put this behind you and enjoy the wonderful honeymoon you deserve. This is more about her (and her new partner, from the sounds of it) than you.