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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to Work 65 hrs per week on my own business

39 replies

CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 05:53

I'm 35, single (but dating someone who is kept busy with his own kids aged 12&14), no kids of my own (don't want any).
Paid my mortgage off.
£0 savings.
Just started a business start of this year.
I am really enjoying it.
I feel the pressure of looking after clients but I don't feel stressed in a bad way iyswim?

Would you?:
Work 65hrs per week.
With gym session X3 per week.
With seeing friends and family fairly regularly on my lunch break in the working day.
And a proper social occasion once per month.
With 2 holidays per year.
With one chilled (at home) date with partner per fortnight.
And one more exciting date/day out with partner per fortnight.
With one 2hour session of hobby time per week.
With no time for reading or watching much TV/film as whenever I am home I am just prepping food/clothes or sleeping.

Would you live that life if it meant you could have £1,000,000 cash in 10 years age 45? And likely retire or at least drop right down to 15-20 hours per week.

By which time a partner who has kids... Well, his kids would be grown up and we could focus on each other.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 06:41

MmeChoufleur · 03/06/2025 06:09

YANBU. I worked 80 hours a week, no lunch breaks, only two weeks holiday a year on our business for almost ten years (we even did a bit of work on those holidays and on Christmas Day). It was relentless. Sold it at 45 with enough to never have to work again, bought our dream house in cash and set our DCs up with their own homes.

On the flip side, we were completely burnt out and it took a few years to recover. But it was definitely worth it. Good luck, OP!

Omg. That's amazing!!!! Well done!!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 03/06/2025 06:12

I think it’s fine. I regularly work over 50hrs. Not for that kind of money though. Guess if you’re in a new relationship there’s not much time for seeing someone, unless you’re starting pretty early in the morning?

MmeChoufleur · 03/06/2025 06:09

YANBU. I worked 80 hours a week, no lunch breaks, only two weeks holiday a year on our business for almost ten years (we even did a bit of work on those holidays and on Christmas Day). It was relentless. Sold it at 45 with enough to never have to work again, bought our dream house in cash and set our DCs up with their own homes.

On the flip side, we were completely burnt out and it took a few years to recover. But it was definitely worth it. Good luck, OP!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 03/06/2025 06:06

I don't think it is unreasonable to work long hours to get your own new business started.

I've worked long hours (although not 65!) when starting a new job at a company in order to 'get up to speed' or to untangle a situation that I've inherited.

Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 06:05

By "at this time" they are referring to 8pm

OP posts:
springintoaction321 · 03/06/2025 06:05

Do what you want. It's not up to friends or family or randoms on the Internet.

Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 06:04

Toomuch2019 · 03/06/2025 06:02

yanbu. It’s your life and if you enjoy it carry on. Unless it’s causing challenges in your relationships and for how you want to spend your free time it really is no one else’s business how many hours you work.

Okay thank you. I have had comments from friends.

And also from acquaintances (some of whom I'm loosely in competition with) saying things like "all work and no play..."
Or "you'll give yourself a heart attack"
Or "you may as well live in your office"
Or "why are you still working at this time?!"

.. etc.

Made me doubt myself.

Okay, thanks all!!

OP posts:
Agix · 03/06/2025 06:03

My first reaction is YANBU and you should work as much as you want, but the fact you even have to ask actually makes me think something is up. If you were truly happy and alright with this, you'd know it and wouldn't feel the need to ask just because friends think you should work less. That's silly. Your wellbeing and happiness isn't a grey area that you'd be confused about.

So maybe the friends telling you YABU have touched a nerve. Maybe be more honest with yourself about it.

Toomuch2019 · 03/06/2025 06:02

yanbu. It’s your life and if you enjoy it carry on. Unless it’s causing challenges in your relationships and for how you want to spend your free time it really is no one else’s business how many hours you work.

Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 06:00

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 03/06/2025 05:57

Does it matter what anyone else thinks? If you have freedom to make these kind of choices, stay healthy snd be happy, that’s all that matters, no?

Are you happy?

I feel happy!
Springing out of bed each morning for first time in a long time!

OP posts:
Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 05:59

(I don't talk to friends about the finance side of things)

OP posts:
Original poster
CosmicScouser · 03/06/2025 05:58

SoScarletItWas · 03/06/2025 05:56

Who is telling you you’re being unreasonable?

If it’s the man, does he resent the time you’re not putting him centre of attention (or helping with his kids)?

Of course you’re not BU. But do it for yourself, not to create a future for your partner without him contributing.

It's not the man. Although the previous man said I was being unreasonable.

This man is fine. Although still getting to know him. So the man in my post could be any man preoccupied with his own kids.

Friends and acquaintances say it's unreasonable and that I should work 40hrs max

OP posts:
KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 03/06/2025 05:57

Does it matter what anyone else thinks? If you have freedom to make these kind of choices, stay healthy snd be happy, that’s all that matters, no?

Are you happy?

SoScarletItWas · 03/06/2025 05:56

Who is telling you you’re being unreasonable?

If it’s the man, does he resent the time you’re not putting him centre of attention (or helping with his kids)?

Of course you’re not BU. But do it for yourself, not to create a future for your partner without him contributing.

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