AIBU - partner watching CCTV

Your poor children. He sounds horrific.

Please leave him. He sounds fucking awful.

According to the ICO website, it’s 13 and above.

That's interesting. How old do they need to be before they are old enough to withdraw consent? Is that the same age as when people are judged old enough to give consent? And shared with who? If DH was watching it, he wasn't actually sharing it. I'm not condoning his behaviour at all. I'm just curious as to how the law would work here. (Obviously, this thread really has nothing to do with what's legal or not. What he's doing is controlling, unreasonable and plain wrong.)

You poor poor children, having to live this life of being constantly watched Avas not feeling safe or secure in their own home. You can’t possibly carry on like this, surely you know you need to get rid of him?

My MIL is like this. She will call you and then watch you on the (many) cameras around the house/garden to see if you're going to pick up the phone. She needs to get a life. So weird.

Horrifying. Really sorry, OP.

No they don’t but they CAN withdraw consent. In that case footage cannot be shared, even home videos.

WTF. This is not normal behaviour.

I never understand everyones fixation with these devices anyhow. Bloody ring doorbells everywhere. Home CCTV etc. Why do we want to record everything. The police hardly ever catch anyone because of them and we are just killing all our privacy imo.

Anyhow, your partner is batshit. You are sharing a home together, sharing your family time together and he is being completely unreasonable. If it were me the cctv would be gone. Not tomorrow, not later, i would go out and rip the fucking thing out. Cut the wires and remove it. I dont know any situation where it is justified for members of a family unit to worry about having a private conversation.

This is creepy behaviour akin to something you find in films. Be careful but do not allow this man to control you in this way.

Please prioritise your children. He is controlling and coercive - Living in this type of household is emotionally abusive to you and your children. Teens need to feel loved, safe and secure and free to live happily which will not always be perfectly without judgement. You can see this is not happening, also evidence shows the controlling behaviours once started are only likely to escalate.

Well, if your fanny is more important to you than your children are, what can anyone do?

Sorry, OP, but your priority is clear and it's not your children, whom you have not protected against this abusive man. 'Walking on eggshells' isn't the right way to live.

Please leave him. Your poor boys will end up hating you for staying with the man they don't like. They don't 'have time for him' with good reason. I promise that you and your kids will be much happier without him and if you will struggle financially, there's help out there.

I’m afraid I couldn’t be with a partner who was like this to my children.
it’s controlling and out of order that no one can have a conversation without fear of being listened into.
you need to start putting your children first fgs!
this will be damaging to them all

Your children have no time for your partner. Why on earth are you tolerating him instead of listening to them?

Yep

maybe he posted on here and was told to trust his gut and check if you were lying to him

what did you lie about?

Oh my gosh, the concern here is not the cctv per se, this man sounds like a terrorist. Why on earth are you with him and allowing him to make your poor children miserable?!

They are your kids and you need to be putting them first, kick this man put immediately, he's got MAJOR issues.

For context, we are all terrified of upsetting him as it Impacts the whole family.

You nor any of the children should be living in fear. The CCTV thing is controlling and you are all treading on eggshells. This is no way to live. His controlling behaviour has likely become normalised for you so you question yourself. But it really is not acceptable behaviour. You need to leave this man. You and your children deserve better. Is there someone you can talk to in real life about this? X

OMFG this is like living in a police state where no one knows where they are being listened in to or spied on!
No wonder your sons can't stand him. I couldn't live like this personally and even if you can, please consider your poor kids and how dysfunctional this situation is for them. This is absolutely not normal or acceptable behaviour. At the very least I'd be insisting on ditching the CCTV.

Fucking hell, get away from him. Why are you asking your CHILDREN to tiptoe around a man?? Put them first for fucks sake.

"We are all terrified of upsetting him as it Impacts the whole family.”

This is no way to live and is extremely damaging for children. You need to leave and get your poor kids away from this awful abusive man.

This is abuse. Leave him.

Op what if he is perving over your kids on recordings? This is seriously awful. Please update

Get him away from those kids. Why the hell are you with him when he's putting yous all on eggshells?

He’s abusive. He’s abusive to you and your children.
please quietly look to leave him for all your safety’s.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Your children are "terrified" of a man you brought to live in their house.