To feel sad after rejection from school Mum

Just tell them! Rather than sloping around playing fields and being rude like this parent just a clear 'thanks so much for the invite but my dc just doesn't like having a social life thanks again'.

OP she has shown you who she is - don’t worry about it. Focus on the boys and facilitate their friendship where you can. Parental friendships via school can be really tricky and I get how it can make you feel bad, but this person doesn’t sound particularly kind and you wouldn’t want their friendship anyway.

I don’t personally agree with people saying you should’ve stopped inviting after the first time. People have busy lives and I don’t think you should feel the pressure to drop everything when invited for a play date or they’ll never ask again! I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong at all, but it does sound like for whatever reason, she doesn’t want to be friends. That’s her business though, you sound lovely and don’t let her change your friendly nature, as the right mums will be so glad to have another friendly mum inviting them to multiple play dates - I would be grateful!

We have no idea if the other mum’s boy wants to play out of school. My year 3 son does not enjoy play dates with most kids- he’ll go to two houses who are neighbours but who he knows there is no pressure to stay if he wants to come home. People take it personally if you say he doesn’t want a play date, especially as they know he’ll go to the other houses. It’s the same with hosting as we couldn’t plan it in advance as some days he has just had enough of people and wants to chill.

You’ve had a lucky escape, she is a weirdo and her son is naughty 🤣 encourage other friendships, and find other mum friends.

I'd be actively avoiding someone with this mindset, if I'm totally honest.

None so queer as folk Op.
We had a real motley crew of different personalities at my DD’s primary. Some were just plain odd.
Just ignore and try to widen your circle

Don't take it personally OP even though it is hard not to. You've done nothing wrong but try and be friendly and for whatever reason she's not reciprocated your efforts. Take a step back, encourage your son to widen his friendship circle and chat to other mums who seem more open and friendly.
People are sometimes weird...honestly don't worry!

'She's avoiding you because she doesn't want to have to give another excuse. Take the hint. I don't mean to be harsh, but she clearly doesn't want to be friends with you. If your boys are friends, fine, but school is for their social development, not for you or any parents to expand their social circle.'

Kids like to play with their friends out of school! Put them first.

This whole 'she doesn't want to be friends with you' is so childish.

Many of my dc's friends parents weren't my friends but we were perfectly able to chat over coffee until they were old enough to be left which tbh at y1 I'd say they are anyway.

I know someone like this too - I just don't feel comfortable around her. I'm not rude if we're in a social situation, though thankfully that's rarer these days, but I'd never seek her out either.
I always feel drained after seeing her too.

Exactly. So many people seem to have a really hard time with the idea that their children can have friendships without them needing to have a parallel friendship with the mum.

Kids will (usually) make friends at their own pace. It isn't necessary, beyond basic facilitation and friendliness, for the mums to also become best friends. In fact its often much easier if they aren't.

It is definitely regression to some unresolved playground trauma. People need to stop seeing their kids' social lives as some sort of projection of their own.

I did go over and say a quick hello,

Why did you do this?

She's avoiding you because she doesn't want to have to give another excuse. Take the hint. I don't mean to be harsh, but she clearly doesn't want to be friends with you. If your boys are friends, fine, but school is for their social development, not for you or any parents to expand their social circle. The boys may not even stay friends as they're so young.

I don't understand parents who are so keen to make friends with their children's friends' parents.

I don't dislike her. I just don't feel comfortable with her. I find her too saccharine with me (to be fair, that's just her way; she's like that with everyone). She's not someone I choose to spend my time with; again that's on me, not her.

Yes I agree with this too.

Can’t your child be friends with her son without you trying to be friends with the mum?!

I had this from a school mum once when my DS asked to have her son over. I tried to arrange a playdate at ours but despite my effort she didn’t seem to want it to happen. Reading between the lines I’ve got the impression she’s not keen on my DS.

Although she was perfectly pleasant to me when her DS came to my son’s party and wanted to a do a drop and go of course… anyway, I get it, rejection doesn’t feel nice but I would view this as her issue certainly not yours. Some people are not worth the energy x

Yes, exactly that.

To be honest I’d probably blank someone if they kept pestering me and wouldn’t take the hint.

You mean with her own mind and perfectly able to think for herself? And decide what she wants to do on her own?

The issue is that Op is chasing and not allowing the other Mum a choice in who she is friends with.

3 invitations and a big hint BUSY and Op is still asking what she can do to pursue the friendship ...

I had this in a social group
Women was very pushy,demanded my number and also I had a gut feeling about her

It was incessant, texting, gossiping about others and just boundary pushing and escalating to BF even though I barely knew her!

It's red flag in men who push yet as women we are all expected to #bekind and do things we don't want to.

One invite, it is actually an invite not a summons and then wait
Let it evolve naturally and you will find your people

No agreed.

I think this is more like my post further above; I think this lady has a reason she isn’t keen and sometimes you have to accept that. It doesn’t mean op did anything wrong, just that she needs to read it.

Maybe the woman isn't looking for a 'perfectly good opportunity for friendship'.

I've had two children go through two different primary schools and there is definitely a different vibe from parents who are looking to facilitate their children's friendships and those who are looking to make friendships.of their own.

There are also plenty of threads from women who read it wrong or gave someone a chance and later regretted it for one reason or another.

Or she might just be a perfectly normal person, with friends and support, who politely declined OPs offers until it got to the uncomfortable stage.
We probably accepted about half of the offers we got from parents and I didn't take offense if anyone didn't accept mine.