To feel sad after rejection from school Mum

No just the people your kid is friends with would do.
The woman is a selfish prick, people like that are.

She probably won't let the kid go on her own if she's blanking the mum.

Could you not have sent your DC with her instead of going yourself?

What a meanie. Just forget her and move on. The boys can hang out at school. At least you’ve tried. Her loss.

I was wondering with the playdates is it necessary the mother attend as well as her son? Perhaps playdates are something she really detests or doesn't have time for?

I do understand it just be uncomfortable for her to be blanking you at school events when she's talking to others.

So little reading comprehension and so many assume this OP wants to be friends with that mum. I don't think OP is seeking a friendships with Mother Gothel at all, she's feeling deflated the wicked mother won't facilitate a friendship between the kids for no good reason. It's simply bad, over-controlling parenting. She is a big red flag.

Is it because those dads have no interest in their kids friendships and the drop off is about the limit of their parenting foe the day? unlike mums who manage almost all of their kids lives = parent a lot more than dads.
In my experience they can be very miserable and blank you too and it's just as offensive but it's simply because they don't recognise you because they have so little interest in their kids friendships. As men simply don't care.

She probably just doesn't like your hairstyle or colour?

I hate socialising with other school mums as well and I’d avoid eye contact for fear of you inviting me to more shite. She’s clearly not interested and that’s ok.

If the kids are friends and want to spend time together, invite the child for a play date, his mum can drop off.

I waisted my time being sad about this

Let it go

No where

Like I said I had zero in common
Total waist of time

a few playdates for my son was all I needed to do

Freindship with mum not required

Not much you can do, most people are not looking for new friends in adulthood and even if loneliness is at an all time high and people no longer have lots of friends. It is very difficult to get the balance right between approach and not making a pain or fool of yourself. I know I've not even noticed people trying to befriend me in the past because I wouldn't assume anyone wanted me. Its a mine field.

@Ifpickleswereticklesah I was friendly with them at the start and after a while I just found them quite nosy / bossy / condescending towards me and my child.

Aww you seem so lovely but not everyone is driven by good intentions. How did those friendships go?

I was so happy when my children left primary school ( I was expecting to be heartbroken)
The experience for me was a total disappointment
I tried far too hard to get on with women who I had zero in common with just because my kids and thier kids were freinds. I was far too smiley and needy
In hindsight I would have minded my own business , kept my dignity , self respect and esteem, held my head high and ignored the F*ing lot

Why do you not like them?

This could be me ( the other mum ). I really hate it when mums don’t take the hint that I don’t want to talk to them, for whatever reason.

read the room. Blank her back ! I’m usually friendly with most people, but if I notice that it’s just not coming, I leave it. I don’t seek them out. You just need to ignore her entirely, unless she’s talking to you or you’re in a group and you need to talk to her.

there are a couple of mums at school I don’t like and I hate seeing them around. One has got the hint, the other one is always trying and I’m just not interested.

on the flip side, I noticed it with other mums and me as well and I just mirror them. Not everyone wants to talk every day to everyone. Sometimes people are in a mood etc. Read the room ! Hold your head high and continue, don’t give her another thought. Even if it is personal, so what ! You know who you are, not everyone has to like you.

It's the parents of the worst behaved, meaner kids that are judgemental of other kids behaviour. Apple and tree and all of that.
She's a big red flag that woman.

Yes and they want to see if they want to be friends with the parents. And then we are surprised at 18 year olds unable to wipe own snot and never moving out.

Unfortunately you'll probably get told there must be something wrong with you or your child whereas the truth is it's the other mother that's behaving oddly and selfishly not willing to support her child's friendships. You are yet to discover all the mums who will only have their child with the children of the people she wants to socialise with and those who simply don't care (you'll find her engineering other friendships though). It's control freakery and a red flag.

She probably doesn't want her kid playing with yours, for whatever reason. It does happen, sorry OP. I've done this myself to another mum. It felt bad because she was nice, but her kid said mean things to my kid and her husband gave me weird vibes so I just decided that I didn't want play dates. Whenever I was at an event and talked to her she's mention meeting up, so I started purposefully avoiding her. Not nice, but my DC comes first - and the alternative was to say "I don't like your 5 year old" which seems to cross a line!

She's made it clear she doesn't want to be friendly, so let her be.

You kids can be school friends, see each other at parties and the playground.

No need to try and understand her.

Can you not just invite the kid over to play without having to socialise with the mum? When my kids were little it wasn’t the done thing to go on play dates with your kids. From stuff I’ve read on here that seems to have changed and parents almost want to view the families and homes of their children’s friends before allowing them to go alone, but they’re coming to the end of year one now so surely it’s time?

id always rather just have the kid. Who wants to sit there making small talk with a parent you barely know or like.

There can be cliques, I’ve experienced that and wasn’t included with my 3rd child’s class group .
In fact they “ forgot “ to invite me to a full class mum Christmas evening out but remembered the following year possibly because someone else was organising it .
There was a queen bee 🐝 type so maybe it was down to her ?
My oldest daughter’s first year at school it was very inclusive no one was cliquey at all , really lovely bunch of mums .

Welcome to the world of playground parents. This is what happens sadly. You will have the gossips the think they are above the rest group the ones who will blank you one minute and then be friendly the next. Move on and don’t give it another thought. If you haven’t watched motherland then I would strongly recommended it. That’s what schools are like.