To feel sad after rejection from school Mum

Leave it, don't beg others for a friendship. There was a mum like this at my dc 's school; she always hung around the wealthier / trendier parents. Our dd's were friends in school but the mum was into social engineering so they didn't hang out much after school.

Eventually, the mum found out that I was friends with a minor celebrity and suddenly she was all over me! Pick up times were difficult as I had to run through, grab dc before I got accosted by her. Some people are incredibly shallow like this woman was.

Stop with the invitations OP (it sounds like you have already tbf) and mentally blank the snotty mare woman out of your life. If she can’t muster up the decency to be polite and to acknowledge you, it’s her problem not yours. If her aversion to you is as irrational as it sounds, it indicates a problem of hers on a deeper level. Who knows what it is… social insecurity or snobbery / jealousy / power playing, whatever… it is not your problem. It will manifest itself in other ways with other people even those she’s friends with, so consider it a bullet dodged. Pick your self respect and esteem off the floor and go surround yourself with nice people who make you feel worthy.

Just invite the kid over after school one day and make it clear that the invitation does not include her.

If she stills turns that down then I'm sorry, you will just have to move on and arrange playdates with other kids. Some people are just rude.

OP, I disagree with most posters on here. What happened to kindness?

You’re not asking to be her best friend, she’s being unkind by not even trying to know you or interact.

for your own sanity, I would completely forget about her, don’t engage. Sorry this is happening to you, for me this is low level bullying.

“ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.”
“ I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. “

Just reading that makes me feel that you’re chasing her. She’s not interested. She’s allowed to be not interested. You’ve invited her three times and she’s politely said no. You actively crossed a games pitch to pursue her again.

For whatever reason, she’s not interested in being your friend. You really need to leave it now; you’re probably making her uncomfortable so, yes, she’s now actively avoiding you. Your children can be friends; you don’t need to be.

Plus, just because your DS is keen on her son, doesn’t necessarily mean her son is. My DS came under huge pressure from a child in primary, to the extent that he felt smothered. She may have her own reasons for not wanting to further the friendship outside of school, and again, that is ok. I did the same, actively encouraging a wide a friendship circle as possible.

There’s a woman in our social group I just don’t gel with. I can’t explain it; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her, but I don’t want to be friends. I’ll be polite, but I won’t instigate conversation or choose to sit near her, if I can help it. I try not to go to social events like an intimate dinner if she’s there. It’s me, not her.

Nah... I'm not buying that. She had a problem.

Tell her to get stuffed and stick it up her a@@e.

I think at some point we've all had this.

At the end of the day, there's a good chance that this will backfire on her. If your sons are good friends then as they get older her son is going to start asking for his own playdates, and choosing who he wants at a birthday party etc - meaning she's going to be forced to interact with you.

It's not you, it's her. But where you do have to take accountability is recognising that you are coming at this scenario from a place of low self-esteem. You need to fix that.

She's being rude unnecessarily. It's not hard to make polite chit chat, smile/wave and acknowledge someone. So recognise that. You're being friendly. She's not and it's unnecessary - you haven't given her a reason, you haven't slept with her husband for goodness sake! It's rude for her to behave that way with an acquaintance.

So view her as socially inept, instead of through the lens of, 'what's wrong with me'.

Your own confidence and sense of self will grow as a result.

I would do this. Two can play that game.

Lol…I’m wondering about that too. 😂

You don't need to be best mates with parents of your son's friends. You can't force friendships. Leave it. The boys will manage.

Can you not invite the child to play for an hour after school without the mum. So kids can be friends but your not forcing the mum to be friends with you at the same time

I had a woman like this when our kids were little. Blanked me. Acknolwefged people I was with, did a sort of half smile at me, but never was friendly. It wasn’t just me, other people noticed it too.
Fast forward 20 years and I now work with her and we are good friends. Weirdly. Never discussed why she reacted like that, but I know she had a lot going on with her personal life so likely wasn’t personal.

Got annoyed, angry, sulking 😅

Why she’s acting like this doesn’t matter OP, I would write her off as not a very nice person and ignore from now on. Knowing probably won’t make you feel any better so just try to forget about it- you’ve been nice, you’ve tried, end of story. Hope you bump into someone else you gel with better. :)

She doesn’t like you for whatever reason. Blank her back.

My son leaves primary school in a matter of weeks and I am so relieved to be leaving all this behind - I’ve had all sorts of weird social things like this, it’s been like being back at school myself 🙄

Unfortunately my experience is that school mums are cliquey, I doubt you’ve done anything wrong. It’s a shame for your son but they will still see each other in school. As they get older there will be more opportunity for them to see each other out of school as well if they are still close friends.

It is rude, even if she doesn't like you or your son there's no harm in just smiling and saying hello.

She'll be avoiding you, so you don't try and suggest another playdate. She's clearly not interested.

Parents never think their kids are badly behaved IMO. Especially the ones that are poorly behaved.

Maybe the other kid isn't as close a friend to your son as you think, or as your son thinks. He may have said something to his mum.

My daughter was invited to a party when at school and on the day, she said she didn't want to go, that the boy was always so naughty. She didn't like him, but he obviously liked her enough to invite her.

I felt bad as we'd accepted the invite. It was close to home so I took the gift and said DD was sick.

Has you son got other friends?

What does saw her arse mean?
I’m trying to think but I can’t see how her arse fits. I’m intrigued enough to ask though!

It’s a rule on MN that school mums who do not smile and chat with other mums at the school gates are cliquey, rude, bitchy etc. Alternatively they must be depressed or suffering from anxiety.

It couldn’t simply be because they just do not wish to befriend a bunch of random women.

That rule does not apply to school dads though.

Yeah that's completely different if your children play together, very odd of them. My neighbours are about 20 years older than me so don't have kids my age 😅

I'd agree she's avoiding you as she doesn't want to be asked again. Some don't like inviting people home. They might be embarrassed about their home or have problems. Others can be trying to steer their dc's friendships in a particular direction. I found this quite odd but I've heard adults saying it. They might find someone too silly or immature for example. Or want their dc to associate with particular types.

My dc are grown now. They have friendships that have lasted the course. Generally with dc who have kind, cooperative parents. You need to try and build other friendships. Invite someone else to the park. It's a shame though if they get on.