What are my rights after separation

Yes, if the house is being sold. But OP is saying that her STBX is offering to buy her out.

"He has said that he has sought legal advice and that the easiest thing for him to do is to buy me out of the house"

A buy out is different because he will be keeping the 'asset' which will (presumably) grow in value. OP's STBX can offer her any amount he wants to. And she can counter offer. She needs good legal advice. But I certainly wouldn't settle for half the equity.

My son is going through a divorce and he's going to have to pay his STBXW much more than half the equity. And my cousin had to pay her exH more than that when she bought him out.

they will, but you'll most likely need to pass security first, which if her OH set up would be quite difficult.

The issue is that actually, unfortunately, yes they can. Especially in this instance where they are not married. All OP is entitled to is her share of the equity- 50%- and then child maintenance unless 50/50 care. Men especially in this position can have it all ways really, 50k may well be 50% of the equity and if it is then yes, that really is all he owes, he gets to walk away with the rest of his money, his pension, and he doesn’t have to do a single overnight with his kids if he doesn’t want to. It’s rubbish but that is the reality if not married.

Go back to the solicitor you used and ask I he did a deed of trust to protect his deposit
if he didn’t then he’s shit out of luck

if he didn’t protect his deposit then that’s on him and that means it’s included in with any equity that the house has gained

Please listen to this it's good advice.

Plus, men can't have it both ways - expect women to sacrifice their career to facilitate their career / look after children, and then in a split expect that they take all the money back (unless they are proposing that they take the kids so that the woman can concentrate on hers).

You urgently need to confirm the equity. This isn't his house - you both signed a contract to own it equally. If he wanted to ring-fence his deposit, he could have done.

Not if it's a jointly owned house.

just to say if your name is on the mortgage, and you phone them they will speak with you, but you can also ask that they put a note on the file to not disclose your conversation or contact. As long as you don’t want to change the product or anything they are very used to these situations and helping people understand their options.

And if you don’t have a copy of your deed of trust, just email the solicitor you used at time of purchase and ask them for a copy.

If you are 50/50 ownership on the house then he is going to struggle paying you any less than 50% of any equity irrespective of contributions or marriage.

You absolutely need to find out what the outstanding mortgage is and are entitled to do so if it's also in your name. What difference does it make if he's informed. He is happy to take steps to protect himself why can't you.

If he didn’t protect his deposit by way of a deed of trust outlining that he gets his deposit back first before splitting any equity
then if your 50 -50 /joint tenants then you can take 50 percent of whatever the equity is
If this means his deposit is in with the equity it’s tough shit for him

my son put down 100k deposit his partner 0
he protected this by a deed of trust
if they split my son gets back his deposit first and they share any equity 50 -50

so in my sons case
house Is 320
deposit 100 k
mortgage 220

if they were to split and the house was worth say 400
it would be minus mortgage of say 220
180 equity left
100k to my son as his deposit back
80 k left over - this is split 50 50
so my son gets 140
partner 40 k

but this is not taking into account that there would have been payments towards the mortgage as well

As others have said, not enough info to say, but the basics you need to find out today:

1. How much was the deposit & did he ring fence it.
2. What is the outstanding mortgage

Once you know what the equity is & whether his deposit is protected you can work out what is fair. 50k might be a really fair offer.

Some useful links

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/how-to-sort-out-your-finances-on-separation?source=mas#

And

https://www.gov.uk/separation-divorce

You need to check the solicitor information from the time of purchase to see how mich his deposit was and whether it was ringfenced.

If you are named on the mortgage, then call and ask them how much remains. They will likely make a note and if he asks if you called they would tell him, but you are doing nothing wrong ny asking.

Most importantly- get your own solicitor who can advise you on your own best interests, don't just rely on your ex.

You will need legal advice, it's one of those cases that you would ultimately 'win' (I mean compared to his ridiculous offer), but likely hard fought and expensive.

Joint tenants = presumption of 50/50
Potentially an argument that your mortgage 'contribution' was offset by you dropping to part time to save on childcare (personally I would do some maths on this - your drop in income/saving on equivalent childcare vs what your half of the mortgage payment would be).

The reason for the above maths is that these cases hinge on establishing a 'common intention' between the two parties. Judges know parties lie, or 'reinterpret' historical intentions in the wake of a break up, so they can infer intentions from actions. You had kids, you went part time, you saved £x on childcare, if you'd carried on working and contributing to the mortgage + half the childcare, you'd all have been worse off etc... the judge would look at whether this was a likely outcome of a reasoned, balanced financial decision of a family unit. It's by no means a given, but these are general principles based on case law.

My suggestion would be get the maths done of your 'contribution' to the household finances, and take it with you to a meeting with a solicitor for some proper legal advice.

I would urge you to get legal advice asap. You must find out what the outstanding mortgage is today, so you have some figures to work from.

You need to change your mindset from what you have contributed financially and focus on getting the best outcome possible for yourself and your children.

while he was working full time and probably paying into a pension etc you have become financially disadvantaged. You took the hit on your salary, pension contributions etc. By working part time you saved him money on childcare costs. Calculate how much putting your two children into nursery would have cost over the years. You probably did the majority of household tasks in that time.

50k sounds like a lousy figure to work from. But you need to get your own advice on this. Where I live you can challenge on financial disadvantage but this needs to be done within 12 months, so don’t waste time messing around here.

You will need to provide a home for yourself and your children, you’ll need to up your hours at work, you should also check what benefits you are entitled to.

good luck OP.

If he hasn't ringfenced his deposit then as you are joint tenants the starting position is that you are entitled to an equal split of equity. He could apply to court for an uneven split (or you could agree it if you think it's fair) but he wouldn't necessarily succeed because joint tenants infers he was willing to share equally and the Court won't be keen to interfere. (I'm a solicitor but not a family one.)

50k sounds like a rip off BUT if there's only 100k equity then it's a fair split. If it's 400k then it's not. So you need to find out. As you aren't married you won't be entitled to anything else from him except CM so don't give away your rights to the house equity too easily. Don't listen to people saying if you've put in less than 50k you're getting a good deal yadda yadda. You have contributed in non monetary ways caring for joint children etc.

Don't roll over, get your own advice. As he's the higher earner he's more likely to be in a position to keep the house but you and the kids have to live somewhere too. I presume he is expecting you to leave and take them with you. If he's being an arse about the house you could try calling his bluff and saying the kids will have to stay with him in their family home and you'll get a room in a house share and babysit when you can. I know you won't want to do that but it might give him a fright and prompt him to be reasonable.

If the house is worth 500k, he put a deposit down of 100k, there is a mortgage of 200k, means there is equity of 200k. So that's 100k each. If the mortgage us 300k, then possibly only 100k equity so 50k each.
You need to know amount left on mortgage to define what money is available to split.

Utter rubbish! It really is half the equity.

The fact that he’s expecting you to make decisions without information is a massive red flag. Why do you not have any knowledge of your finances? Did he actively hide details or were you just not interested?
You need to ask what the outstanding mortgage is.
You need to remind him that you have contributed. You can work out the cost of a nursery for all the time you have covered childcare and cite that.
Most importantly. Ask what his plans are for housing the children? He can’t just ignore their needs. If he goes the default route of assuming they’re your problem and responsibility then you need to take a realistic look at your options if you were to try and manage on £50k and your PT salary.
What has he said about how he expects ‘custody’ to be?

You need proper legal advice as there's a lot of variables. Sadly your lack of marriage does effect this. Has he ring fenced the deposit. Please seek legal advice x

You are entitled to half but you need to find out what the equity is.
Value of house - mortgage amount left to pay = equity.

It doesn't matter if house is worth 500k or 20k, it's the equity you need to be finding out. If he is offering you 50k then the equity should be 100k. Does that seem right?

If you've paid in less than £50k when he's probably offering you a pretty good deal.

No they wont call him but they will only give you any info if you're named on the mortgage.

Before you do anything else find out how big the outstanding mortgage is so you can work out the equity- the money from the house that is to be shared between you.