Page 5 | Dh going to uni aged 58 - worried about money!

Meowsmol · 2025-06-02T22:12:54+00:00

Dh had to stop working 3 years ago due to a disability, FND. He was high up in IT but can't do it as his hands don't work properly anymore. He now wants to do a psychology degree looking at neurodiversity. he's thinking about some sort of business/ coaching thing. He called me today to tell me he's been accepted onto the course and they'll help him with student finance. We have 2 children 1 in last year of college in sept so looking at 2026 uni. She wants to do forensics and biomedical science. So will need a fee loan and maintenance loan. Ds is starting college in September for a level. I'm the only one working. Dh gets pip. But I can't see how we can make this happen. We rent and my dm has recently been diagnosed with dementia and df has mobility issues. My brain is broken.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 03/06/2025 23:26

It’s still not fair, and anyway it won’t be funded.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 03/06/2025 23:18

Just seen your update. That sounds like a much better plan.
He already has experience given your DC are autistic

uncomfortablydumb60 · 03/06/2025 23:14

Him wanting to go to Uni is admirable but I'm guessing he's feeling lost after having to give up his job, but kindly it is not all about him.
You have teen DC who will want to go to uni
and Finishing his degree at 62(?) will he really set up his own business
Sorry, but it's not fair to expect you to bear the financial responsibility alone, or the household responsibility.

BIossomtoes · 03/06/2025 22:33

LoveTKO · 03/06/2025 22:30

Sounds like he’s on a folly. Bollocks to that. Tell him to get a job like most people do and contribute to the cost of life for you, him and his family.

Would you give a job to a 58 year old disabled man who hasn’t worked for three years?

LoveTKO · 03/06/2025 22:30

Sounds like he’s on a folly. Bollocks to that. Tell him to get a job like most people do and contribute to the cost of life for you, him and his family.

sparkle17 · 03/06/2025 22:14

Can he work as a support worker supporting adults with autism. Sounds like he has decent goals but needs to work out what is practical and achievable

MiracleCures · 03/06/2025 22:11

Meowsmol · 03/06/2025 21:59

I've just had a chat with him and explained my worry. He thinks training for adhd / autism might be a good idea and trying to support neurodiversity in the workplace would be good.
I have adhd ( diagnosed at uni) and we have an autistic child.

That's a really good idea.

eone · 03/06/2025 22:02

Orderofthephoenixparody · 03/06/2025 21:49

He could work privately my partner is 62 and he is constantly learning and earning. I don't believe education is pointless at any age. I am not sure if he will earn as much as he thinks he will. Neurodiversity training has to be given to staff and they do need to hire private agencies to teach it. That's where ops husband comes in. He won't need much capital to run his business. I think it's a good idea he can teach right up until he's 80 if he wanted to. As long as businesses keep hiring him. I know 75 year old whoworks for himself it's not unusual.

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Thank you, that's fair point

MellersSmellers · 03/06/2025 22:00

It sounds to me that after 3 yrs of not working he wants some purpose and fulfilment in his life. He might rationalise it as training for a new career but let's be honest it sounds unlikely that it will happen at 62, and as others have said I don't think a Psychology degree will help with business coaching.
On the bright side, if he gets a student loan he will never pay it off!
If he's intested in coaching he could investigate student support in your local Uni (dyslexia, dysplasia, anxiety etc), or mental health support that is being rolled out to schools. Maybe they would have shorter training times and clearer career outcomes.
I appreciate your worry about the money but having a happier, motivated DH around would add to everyone's life surely?
As for DD, many students have a PT job at Uni or top up the coffers in tbe holidays. Talk to her about it.

Haha, just seen your post above OP which echoes what I've tried to say above. Good luck!

Original poster

Meowsmol · 03/06/2025 21:59

I've just had a chat with him and explained my worry. He thinks training for adhd / autism might be a good idea and trying to support neurodiversity in the workplace would be good.
I have adhd ( diagnosed at uni) and we have an autistic child.

OP posts:

Orderofthephoenixparody · 03/06/2025 21:53

FancyCatSlave · 03/06/2025 20:59

He might be capable of working but how many employers do you think are falling over themselves to employ people knocking 60 with a disability?! It’s hard enough for anyone fully fit to get work at the moment, the job market is brutal.

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The op said he was going to work for himself set up a business. He could do online coaching or face to face coaching there is money to be made it's who ever is brave enough to stick there nose out.

Orderofthephoenixparody · 03/06/2025 21:49

eone · 03/06/2025 21:41

Yeah, people who are claiming benefits that aren't eligible for must be looking at this form the same angle, if it benefits the family then why not tell the half truth to get it. This is just so wrong.
Why would he want to take student loan that 1. He is not willing to pay back and 2. It is highly unlikely studying psychology at this age will result in any sort of career.

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He could work privately my partner is 62 and he is constantly learning and earning. I don't believe education is pointless at any age. I am not sure if he will earn as much as he thinks he will. Neurodiversity training has to be given to staff and they do need to hire private agencies to teach it. That's where ops husband comes in. He won't need much capital to run his business. I think it's a good idea he can teach right up until he's 80 if he wanted to. As long as businesses keep hiring him. I know 75 year old whoworks for himself it's not unusual.

mylovedoesitgood · 03/06/2025 21:45

Why would he want to take student loan that 1. He is not willing to pay back and 2. It is highly unlikely studying psychology at this age will result in any sort of career.

Why should he give a flying fuck about paying his loans back? I certainly don't.

BIossomtoes · 03/06/2025 21:44

FancyCatSlave · 03/06/2025 20:59

He might be capable of working but how many employers do you think are falling over themselves to employ people knocking 60 with a disability?! It’s hard enough for anyone fully fit to get work at the moment, the job market is brutal.

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This. Nobody’s listening though.

eone · 03/06/2025 21:41

lostinthesunshine · 03/06/2025 20:58

I understand that you are focussed on wider society, cost to the tax payer, getting people off benefits, people should repay their student loans etc. Totally valid viewpoint.

However I think OP should look at it from the point of view of the net impact on her family.

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Yeah, people who are claiming benefits that aren't eligible for must be looking at this form the same angle, if it benefits the family then why not tell the half truth to get it. This is just so wrong.
Why would he want to take student loan that 1. He is not willing to pay back and 2. It is highly unlikely studying psychology at this age will result in any sort of career.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 21:38

FancyCatSlave · 03/06/2025 21:26

Are you quite well?!

Thousands of students with disabilities and additional needs participate successfully in higher education with various adjustments. My HEI is especially good at it. Ability to participate in learning is completely different to work.

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If you are capable of studying for a degree you are also capable of doing a sedentary job.

When I went to uni we were told to treat our studies like a full time job.

My current job is certainly no more strenuous than doing a degree.

FancyCatSlave · 03/06/2025 21:26

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 21:19

Well then he can't do a degree either, can he?

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Are you quite well?!

Thousands of students with disabilities and additional needs participate successfully in higher education with various adjustments. My HEI is especially good at it. Ability to participate in learning is completely different to work.

MiracleCures · 03/06/2025 21:20

mylovedoesitgood · 03/06/2025 21:09

The man is on PIP. He can’t work.

That's not how PIP works

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 21:19

mylovedoesitgood · 03/06/2025 21:09

The man is on PIP. He can’t work.

Well then he can't do a degree either, can he?

Orangesandlemons77 · 03/06/2025 21:18

mylovedoesitgood · 03/06/2025 21:09

The man is on PIP. He can’t work.

You can claim PIP and work, it is not an out of work benefit.

mylovedoesitgood · 03/06/2025 21:09

The man is on PIP. He can’t work.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 21:04

lostinthesunshine · 03/06/2025 20:58

I understand that you are focussed on wider society, cost to the tax payer, getting people off benefits, people should repay their student loans etc. Totally valid viewpoint.

However I think OP should look at it from the point of view of the net impact on her family.

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I am looking at it from that point of view and tbh I can't see one.

BlueandPinkSwan · 03/06/2025 21:01

Sorry but this sounds so selfish of him on many levels.

FancyCatSlave · 03/06/2025 20:59

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 20:55

OK, but even if he somehow manages to get the taxpayer to fund his vanity project, if he's well enough to study for a degree he's well enough to be working and contributing. There is an opportunity cost to him doing this which is currently not very obvious because he's choosing not to work.

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He might be capable of working but how many employers do you think are falling over themselves to employ people knocking 60 with a disability?! It’s hard enough for anyone fully fit to get work at the moment, the job market is brutal.

lostinthesunshine · 03/06/2025 20:58

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/06/2025 20:55

OK, but even if he somehow manages to get the taxpayer to fund his vanity project, if he's well enough to study for a degree he's well enough to be working and contributing. There is an opportunity cost to him doing this which is currently not very obvious because he's choosing not to work.

Show quote history

I understand that you are focussed on wider society, cost to the tax payer, getting people off benefits, people should repay their student loans etc. Totally valid viewpoint.

However I think OP should look at it from the point of view of the net impact on her family.