Dh going to uni aged 58 - worried about money!

Christ, does he really want to be in lectures at Uni with people who are 30 years younger than him? Not turning up and when they do, not being arsed about being there? Doing group presentations and ending up doing the bulk of the work as he's older and they'll leave it all to him?

Not saying all teenagers are like this but working in a University, I wouldn't be surprised...

If he wants to be a coach then he should sign up for a coaching course rather than a Psychology degree, which doesn’t really qualify you for any particular job – it just sets you up to do further training (eg PhD to become a clinical psychologist). He should look into coaching specifically if that’s what he wants to do.

If it’s just a vanity thing, then he should rethink and maybe just do some kind of short course. University degrees are very challenging and not always fun.

What does he mean that they are helping with student finance for him @Meowsmol

Are you sure about the 5k? Dd got the full amount plus extras because I was the only one working and her brother was on DLA

It’s not fair on your DC to do this now.

Sorry, Op but I think that your dh is being selfish.
He has made the decision to attend university without discussion.
How is he going to cope with the numerous assignments if he has issues with his hands.?
You really need to sit down with both him and your daughter
Your daughter will need to get a Summer job and a term time job .

A degree will cost him three years and tens of thousands of pounds. It will take him into his sixties. What makes him think he will be more employable then than now?

You know it is okay for you to say I'm not prepared to fund that?

The very last thing he should be doing is a degree. At his age he needs to be working and not studying something that will not bring in any income at all in the future. You must feel like you are carrying a tremendous burden. How old are you?

So he can walk dogs, be left on his own , ( despite having seizures) clean the house, cook etc...yet his FND prevents him working and he gets PIP.... But now says he's capable of doing a full-time degree...really OP...I think he's taking the piss.
He's not not working due to a disability...he took early retirement and has left you to pick up all the financial responsibility.
It would be a hard no I'm.not supporting you from me...go get a job.

How/why did he avoid paying into an employer pension when he was a senior IT manager?

He's probably going to be entitled to disabled student allowance https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa/eligibility

The uni may also be able to advise about additional grants or funding for disabled and /or mature students.

“He was high up in IT but can't do it as his hands don't work properly anymore.”

So how exactly does he think he can do a degree? If his hands don’t work properly, how will he do assignments and work on a computer? And if he can do this, why can’t he carry on with the IT? It certainly seems that he’s putting his own wants above the needs of his family. To be accepted onto a course is no guarantee of passing it - universities are businesses: they want bums on seats. If you are going to have to pay £5k for your Dd at university, how does your DH think he is going to finance his course? I don’t think he’s thought this through.

He’s being completely ridiculous and burying his head in the sand about his financial situation. He’s also putting himself ahead of his child. Worse, he did this without consulting you , despite you being the earner. Personally I couldn’t tolerate this. If necessary, I’d split with him.

Assume he has problem typing if he gave up his job in IT due to his health? How will be do coursework? Can he dictate the words for example? I don’t blame him wanting to do something with his time, it must be hard being forced to give up your career. Speak to your DD now about uni contributions. If you can’t afford 5k a year to help then maybe she needs to take a career break and earn some money first. My son worked in the holidays in year 1 & 2 and earned 5k. That was full time from end of June to end of Sep (earned 3k in year 2 in internship, 8wks). So there are options.

Your husband has a disability, bad enough to claim PIP. He feels he has the stamina to cope with a degree. Then in his sixties, start a new career. Will he be taking out student loans, which I assume he won’t be able to pay back? He could do youth mentoring etc, without a degree. I am sorry but he is being very selfish and leaving you to pick up the slack. However, he can access pensions, so maybe that is what he attends to do. That at least would help financially.

I think I’d sit him down with all the costs needed to be paid and just say ‘ how do we pay these love ‘ . Hopefully if he sees it’s impossible he’ll reconsider his studies to realise his children’s future is more important given they’re starting out in life and his job potential is very limited .

If your husband is not currently working, you are already supporting the whole family.

Could he be working, albeit in a different field to the one he is qualified for? If he could be bringing money into the household and is choosing not to, this puts an unfair financial burden on you.

If he really can't work, is he actually capable of studying for a degree with a view to running a business later? If he can study locally and get financial help with the fees so that nothing comes out of your household budget, then perhaps it wouldn't make any difference to you financially given that he is already not working. But can you even get a student loan when you're already close to retirement age?

You can train as an ADHD coach for around 3.5k.

Op, have a look at Rebel Finance School, it's for people who want to retire someday but need some help maximising finances. Totally free, not a sales thing in any way. I've done it and it's often mentioned on here.

Does your dd work now? If not she needs to start looking for a job over the summer to help with that 5k shortfall. It’s good for their CV anyway and then also try to get a part time job at uni or even take a gap year to save.
you need to have a sit down with her and your dh and say they both won’t be able to go to uni at the same time as it’s too much strain on the household. Might focus dh that he is being a tad selfish.
if he is on PIP he may well qualify for a disabled top up to the normal student grant which doesn’t have to be paid back so worth looking into that and he would also qualify for disabled student allowance which isn’t a cash payment but would fund extra help (say a note taker or transport to uni) if he needs that and there are normally university teams who help with this. This applies if he does open university as well.

He might get attendance allowance as well as the state pension

Best check out if he will still qualify for PIP if he is doing a full time degree- some of it might contradict the descriptors for PIP. For example if he says he needs aid for cooking but is writing.

Also with the proposed changes to PIP this might not be reliable income unfortunately, depending on what points he is scored already.

I would be amazed if your DH can deal with the stamina required for a degree if IT work is a challenge. It will involve typed course work etc. - can he physically manage that?

Your priority should be your kids’ education and ideally stabilising your housing situation if you’re in insecure rentals. This sounds like he’s on his own team of one which sounds very hard.

@PandorasMailboxshe knows about loans it seems the DD maintenance loan won’t be enough and you can’t just ask for more sadly. OP, if you can’t afford the extra £5k then DD will need to fund it by working. Most of us had to do that.

As someone who did a full-time degree in my 50s, I can tell you now that I wasn't prepared for the amount of work and extra expense it entailed.

Also, the market is flooded with people with psychology degrees and the like.

I think he's being pretty selfish, to be honest. You've got more than enough on your plate at the moment; he doesn't need to add to your load.

Have you looked into student loans for your daughter? They don't need to be paid back until a certain amount of money is earned, and even then, it's just a small percentage of the amount over the threshold.

I think he's disillusioned about the money he'll make from coaching. He's looking at a very specific subject and has he researched the demand for it. Are the people who need it willing and able to pay?

It's fine as a hobby/passion, but you'll be carrying this family forever at this rate.