Fed up with DP led late nights - is this normal?

We all eat together at 6pm, so once the kids and are bed and clean up is done we sit down at 7.30ish. I also think it’s helpful not to cook two different meals and it helps encourage the children to try new foods.

We never eat past 7pm and are generally in bed by 9. We joke that we live like pensioners

Fairly normal timeline here too, but can't you cook just once.

Make sausage & mash or a curry and just keep it in warm dishes until you and do are ready to eat. That would save you 45 mins, then you could get DC to bed earlier and try to get to sleep yourself before dp comes up.

Or DP accepts eating a bit earlier to make life easier for his family and so his child can go to bed at a decent time?

I think if you want to sleep better you need first to stop looking at screens and hour before you want to be asleep (at the very least stop scrolling in bed) before you're in a position to ask DP to stop with the tablet in bed (though I wouldn't like trying to sleep next to blue light for 1.5 hours even with an eye mask)

Why doesn’t your DP watch his tablet downstairs and you go to bed at 10? You’re getting a lot of sleep if not up until 7, can you stay up a bit longer and you both go to bed together, but DP not on the tablet?

One adult is cooking twice and one adult is not cooking. Why?

It seems fairly normal to me, although we rarely eat dinner much before 9. My husband often goes to bed really early at about 10.30 nowadays, but i don’t go to bed until at least 1.

I think bed is for sleeping, and it's really inconsiderate to be doing anything for a long period of time when the other person is trying to sleep.

I agree with pp who suggested only salting your food once it's on your plate. Maybe wear a contoured eye mask can fit over your eye patch, and help.

I would move your dinner time so you all eat together.

Why does he need to scroll tablet in bed for hours? Surely it would make more sense to be in another room if he's wide awake? I would ask him to change that.

I’d eat with your child - cooking twice is madness.

Have only ever cooked one meal for 8/8.30 (7.30 when DC were really small). What is your DC doing while you’re eating? DH goes to bed at 11ish (varying wake times from 6 to 7.30 depending on day), I go up at 12/1 (up at 7.30 4 days a week - don’t need as much sleep). Why does he need to come up if he’s not sleeping? I haven’t gone to bed at 10 since I was about 10!

The only bit of it that is actually late is the time your DC goes to bed, could you bring that forward? the rest is very average.

You sound quite controlling. Just go to bed when you want and eat without him if it’s ’too late’

This routine isn’t going to work as your child gets older and it clearly is led by him not you

what routine would suit you

You said eating your dinner late is an issue for you and you need to look at cooking only once and having dinner with DC, but then said you’d have to change DC dinner time to yours/DPs time. That makes no sense. If you want to eat earlier then eat earlier and have a meal with your DC. Once DC starts nursery/school they are not going to want to eat at 8pm as they’ll likely be in bed asleep before then.

I don’t quite know what you’re complaining about? If you’re asleep by 10.30 and don’t get up until 7 or 8 then surely that’s either 8.5 or 9.5 hours sleep. Which is more than enough.

Yes you could eat together and quit the phone scrolling but I don’t know what the problem is from your post, is it lack of sleep, toddler not settling, lack of free time, feeling tired or just your Dh annoying you?

I'm like your friend! I often just don't feel hungry enough at 6 though. But that might be because of eating crisps en masse when I get home...Might try harder to eat earlier.

thats why separate rooms should be way more normalised.

I agree with this aswell

my DH sits up until 3am most nights watching films/videos. He can run of barely no sleep fine. I’m just used to it and can go asleep aslong as it’s relatively quiet

He isn't being unreasonable but neither are you. My DH used to read until the early hours and I had to scoot over to the edge of the bed, turn my back on him and pull the duvet over my head.

Now peri me can't sleep at all so it's me doing the reading, wriggling and scrolling while DH is sound asleep.

I just cook one meal (without adding salt until on our plates- babies can have seasoning they don't have to eat bland food) and if he wants it later, he can eat later. If the tablet is bothering you, he could sit somewhere else until he's ready to sleep.

I must be the exception here. Everyone seems to have dinner (tea) really late. If we have ours after six it means we’re running late and anything after 8pm is classed as supper

What is it about his scrolling that keeps you awake? DH is a night owl and I most definitely am not these days, but he tends to just come to bed later, so I might be asleep by 11ish and he’ll come in at 1, but I’m in a deep sleep by then so it doesn’t wake me.

Does he have to scroll in bed or could he watch his stuff elsewhere then come to bed when he’s ready to sleep?