To let DD leave 6th form to work in a pub!

Leave school at 16 - yes.
Leave education or training completely at 16 - no.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raising_of_school_leaving_age_in_England_and_Wales

What a privilege to get a scholarship and what a waste to throw that away to work in a pub. I think she needs to stick to it, it's a good life lesson too. What's her plan after working in the pub? What she chooses to do now is basically the start of the rest of her life. I'm assuming she doesn't ant to work in a pub forever? In saying that if she enjoys it and is good at it, then it could be something to pursue later

No longer true and hasn't been for a decade now (assuming OP is based in England.

.https://www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school

You have to be doing some form of "training" alongside paid work. Though to be honest I'm not sure how well enforced this rule actually is!

Agreed. £1200 of pocket money is A LOT. £1200 when you have to factor in rent, council tax, utilities, transportation, and food—not so much.

I think she’s working too many hours, I didn’t let DD (20) work that much while she was at school and DS (16) won’t be either. Just say no, she needs to focus on her education for one more year at least. If she can stick it out at her current school, great; if not, she can look at other educational opportunities.

I agree with others saying that talking to her about the realities as she gets older and wants to move out. What she’s earning may seem a lot right now, but it won’t go so far when she’s covering household bills, etc.

Also, she should think about where she sees herself in five, maybe 10 years. A friend’s DD (20) went to college and got some qualifications, but she’s decided not to pursue that career path now. She’s also working in a pub, has been for about two years. She’s OK, but isn’t really moving forward in her life.

Talk to your DD about her longer term goals and then she can come up with ways to achieve them.

If she is struggling to pass her basic exams, why are you letting her work so many hours? She could be spending that time revising or even working with a tutor?

Hmm I think you should do your best to encourage her to stay but ultimately her choice

You'll have to help her realise the realities of this e.g. paying board or even looking for somewhere to live alone.

Same. I left school at 15 with nothing in 2010 and am autistic. Wasn’t diagnosed until my mid twenties.

I left school slightly early at 17. I'd had a hard time and needed to just do what I needed to do.

I went to work in a warehouse, no intention of studying to my parents horror.

Got a job in the office, was put through several apprenticeships and eventually got a diploma in business studies. Still at the same company, well paid and doing great.

Sometimes you just need to figure out your path! She's very young.

This was my initial thought too. Has she ever been assessed by SEN staff at her school?

I would do what I could to encourage her to stick with school.

I'd put it that the scholarship is a once in a lifetime opportunity that if she leaves she loses. The job in the pub will still be there in a years time when she leaves school. I would also do as pp have suggested and run the numbers with her. Working in a pub for spending money is completely different to working in a pub to feed/house yourself.

What was her ambition with the drama? Do you think she's realised that most drama graduates are out of work actors working in hospitality and she's lost hope of being successful with the drama?

Are there any friendship issues? It can be hard to join a new school at sixth form, particularly as a scholarship student who's having to resit GCSE maths.

OP, you say she might have ADHD..... please get her assessed. The meds really work - I've just started them.

No no no, remember if she leaves she is an independent adult, she will need to factor in paying that back not you.

How were you able to restrict them when they are technically adults/ over 16? Did you ring the pub and complain?

Is it drama A level she is doing or something else? What are her PGs or mock results? I ask bc it is relevant wrt whether it is worth her keeping going.

I think an apprenticeship and qualification in hospitality, as others suggest, might well be better. Has she actually said she wants to leave and work in a pub?

Btw there are some misunderstandings on this thread. NEET does indeed stand for (a YP) Not in Education, Employment or Training and obviously is a figure the govt is keen to keep low.

All YP aged 16-18 are supposed to be in education or some kind of training – not simply working. (This is not connected to the NEET figure, tho obvs any YP who is in education or an apprenticeship is not a NEET.) So sixth form, college, A levels, vocation quals, apprenticeship... but not simply a job. The idea of that was to encourage YP, including those who don’t do well at academic quals ie A levels, to continue their education. So an apprenticeship would tick that box. Why not sit down with her and look at what's on offer? https://www.apprenticeships.gov.uk/apprentices

In practice btw there is little done by any govt agency to ensure that YP are still in education or training till 18 but they are supposed to be.

She's doing something she enjoys and is motivated by. Let her work instead, she'll find her own path.

I’d be putting your foot down on her hours, who’s taking her, driving her to her job? She needs to just focus for a tiny bit longer then she’s done.

i have a pub working DS who's 17 about to complete his a’levels and is having a gap year and pub working, so I know how much fun they have, it’s been the making of him, but I’ve restricted his shifts over exam time to 2–4 a week maximum, he’s excited to do 20-30 hour in a weeks in July onwards.

I love the work ethic and don’t want to ruin his fun but I decided to just be the bad guy and rein in his shifts, I subsided his hours for a few weeks, so essentially paid him not to work.

but hopefully he will get some decent grades and leave his future options open.

I was going to say hospitality, lots of possibilities, chef to management. Transferable skills later. My DS was the same. Eventually he was asked to leave his private school. Got a job within a week. Has worked predominantly in hospitality since.

It is this hard, if she has ADHD. Without the structure, routine, oversight, accountability and support that school provides, it’s going to be EXACTLY that hard.

Said with kindness, from an adult ADHD’er diagnosed in late 30s, who achieved fine-ish in school, struggled through the first year of sixth form similarly to your daughter before chucking it shortly after the start of the second year in to work in… a shop and a pub.

Many years ago now, and as a pp said times are different in terms of being able to work and financially support yourself to be independent as a young person. It’s way tougher now than it was then.

Please, if you can, try to have her assessed. ADHD meds aren’t a silver bullet and they aren’t for everyone, but they can be absolutely life changing. I wish wish wish I’d have had the knowledge (bright, reasonably well behaved girls didn’t have ADHD or autism in the 90’s/00’s!) understanding and access to the option of medication when I was young. My life is lovely now, but it’s been a long and tough road. Even without medication there is so much that can be done to help.

Knowledge is power.

Good luck, to you and her.

I made it through my A-levels - didn’t do brilliantly but wasn’t given a choice by my mum. I worked kitchens/bars through it, like I had since I was 14 and loved. Then scraped into a uni. Spent more hours working on the campus pub/club than I ever spent in lectures (expensive bloody year). Then came back to help look after my mum and worked a couple of cafe/bar jobs to pay bills etc. Did eventually go back to uni to do biomedical sciences and carried on working hospitality through it. Then finished…and went back to bar/cafe jobs. I was always happier there.

A few years later, a job came up in local authority Democratic Services, supporting one of the parties on the council. Nothing I’d ever done before - mostly press and policy work. I assumed I’d done terribly in the interviews and I had no relative experience or training but surprisingly, I got it. My new boss, when I asked why, said it was because they needed someone capable, not afraid of hard work, good with often difficult and belligerent people and able to multitask. The job could be taught, the skills could not.

All skills you get from the hospitality trade.

I now run my own press team for a large-scale public sector organisation. I still struggle with all of the challenges that someone with ADHD struggles with and some days, most even, I think I hate my job. But inside I know it’s brilliant and well suited to me…for all the reasons that canny boss took me on.

I also only just finished paying off my degree six months ago…FINALLY. Never used it, would have been miserable if I’d worked in that field, left me massively in debt. As someone who regularly hires, I don’t think I’ve EVER looked at applicants’ qualifications, just their skills/experience. For a handful of mediocre A-levels and a degree I only did to make my mum happy - was it worth it? Hell no. Just set me back by four years that weren’t really necessary.

Support your daughter in what she wants now and she will probably one day see the point in getting a foundation Maths GCSE in her spare time, especially as she’ll know you have her back, regardless of what you think of her choices. Or maybe she will never need it. But it’s her life and your expectations might be the thing that’s holding her back, rather than helping her.

It’s a tough one. I don’t really get how your school system works or how it corresponds to ours, but I was a lot like that at her age.

I did end up going to college (university) after I graduated 12th grade, but I only went for a year and then dropped out as I just couldn’t cope. I was 18 then. I’m 43 now and I’ve done a lot of different things; I’m looking at finally going back to get my degree at my old age 🤣

I struggled a lot with my undiagnosed and unmediated ADHD then. I don’t regret my life, I’m very happy and have managed okay without a degree, but I’m pushing my children to do better because it has certainly been hard at times.

Does she really want to leave? Or does she want to stay at least for the drama courses?

I have experience working in a Wetherspoons through uni, became a manager and was making good money (plus great bonuses, but that depends on your pub). It obviously wasn’t my career, but I still know people who work there who are doing well and are now homeowners ect. The man who was our pub manager had no GCSEs and was pulling in really good money, our area manager left school at 16 as well. I think if you’re not academically inclined it can be a good career, as long as you enjoy it and understand you have to work bloody hard (until you’re a manager, then you can hide in the office). I can only speak for Wetherspoons and a brief stint at Greene King, but I would say it might be a shout.

It seems to have changed. I don't know when as when Gordon Brown first introduced it the e was indeed for employment, but now it seems to be employment with a large element of training.

I would strongly encourage her to persevere with years 12/13 in some form. If she’s talented at drama, what about a UAL extended diploma in performance and production arts, or BTEC or similar at a college? The former is worth a whopping 168 UCAS points for a distinction. She could start again and do GCSE or functional skills alongside.

I left during yr13 and almost 30 years later, still regret it. I wish my parents had kicked my arse, told me what’s what and has a proper discussion with me, rather than their wishy washy ‘well it’s what she wants’ attitude (both teachers too ffs!) I also regret staying at sixth form rather than going to the college, however that was never suggested as an option (lived very rurally and would have had to rely on being taken into town by car with my mother). I was clever but lazy and loathed my comp’a sixth form and my friends had all gradually left.

The money your DD earns at the pub seems great when young and I completely empathise, but going back to education will be a lot more difficult when older - trust me!

I had a deal with my DD that she would work her backside off 16-18 so that University/Conservatoire was an option later, but would not pressure her to go immediately - if at all. I think seeing her own mother’s abject failure to meet her potential has also helped focus attentions.

Some really good suggestions on this thread.