Judged for working only 30hours a week!

Fairplay for that work/life schedule, but I read the OP as implying that she was working a reduced day around school hours rather than taking a day off in the week an therefore wasn't getting any child-free non-working hours.

I went part time ( 22 hours) when DS1 was born, increased to 36 but term time only , and now 30 hours pw. No chance of me working full time again, and I smile and agree when anyone comments on it. I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to work ft from a financial POV, I agree that’s lucky. I loved spending time with DC, and think it must be very hard for families where both parents have to work ft, even more so for single parents.

Ignore them, they probably just wish they could do that themselves. I never worked full time after ds born, varied from 80% at most to 50% at least. Continue to do what suits you and your family

my dc have grown up and in one temping job i remember someone was shocked that i didnt work 5 days a week.
i cherish my day off, no way would i ever feel guilty
tbh i started on two, then three then four, that work gave me contracts for.
so the thought of five is not a scenario i like to imagine - it would probably be sensible but i am 60 this year!

I'm very similar to you - work 30 hours a week, do school pick up (drop off to breakfast club), little family help nearby and I financially have to work the hours I do.

I get it both ways in that I feel I don't really fit into any camp - the SAHP think I belong in the working parents camp, the working parents think I belong in the part time/SAHP camp. Work colleagues think I have it easy as I only work 6 hours a day, and friends who don't work don't understand why I work.

I tend to reply with 'I'm 0.8 not part time - I basically do a full time job in less hours'. Which is 100% true in my case. I have more work now than I did when I was full time.
For those that go the other way and say I shouldn't be working so much I tend to tell them if I could afford to I would but I can't.

I only do 24 hours a week partly so I can fit
it round school hours and be there for the kids but largely for the work like balance and not becoming burnt out. I’m a community nurse

Make sure you tell them all about your day time naps (whether you have them or not) that’ll teach em

I work 16 hours a week because I made a business that allowed me to do so. Couldn’t give two fucks what anyone thinks, any negativity is jealously. Everyone would like to work less that’s for sure

30 hours is classed as full time

Yes to this! This is what I started saying. I don’t work but what I do do is care for two disabled children and attend the mammoth amount of appointments their lives entail alongside therapies and physio undertaken within our home.
I have been called lazy, a ‘lady of leisure’ and am often told how lucky I am to have a husband that works so hard and ‘let’s’ me stay at home.

The comments soon stopped when I started to say ‘oh are you offering to take over some of my responsibilities so that I’d actually be able to go out and get a job?’ or when I wasn’t feeling so polite ‘are you offering to come and take over wiping my 11 year old’s bottom then?’

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, just do what works for your family, which if people took a step back and thought for a minute, that’s exactly what everyone does! They do what they have to do to make their lives work for them and shock horror, that looks completely different for every single family.

Who actually has the time and headspace to give a shit about whether someone works or how many hours they do? It just makes me think that you must have one boring life/relationship that you spend any amount of your day judging whether I should/should not work and for how many hours per week.

I don't have kids and I'm looking for a 25-30 hour a week job just because I don't want to work full time again! I was made redundant last year and we've decided we'd rather make cut backs than me go back full time if I can help it.

I only work 17 hours a week. When people comment, I point out that I'm a pensioner and by the time they get to my age, most people have given up work completely!

Same 😄 How dare us take care of our own well-being when we have a little bit of time to ourselves!

I actually do go to the gym and have coffee dates 😅. And get my nails done. And my hair. I make the most of those precious school hours 😁

They're jealous because in their heads you get to spend that time going to the gym, going on coffee dates etc - not the reality of wrangling tired children after school to do their spellings or doing laundry.

one friend will say how little time she has as she works full time but she has a lot of family help and a husband who doesn't work away, this can be in response to having time to do a hobby or attend something, it feels like it's a passive dig at me

I usually just say, it's all about efficiency, and look smug! Wind them up back

They are probably jealous. I have not got any dependents live alone and a few years ago I dropped a day at work. Why? It suited me and I could afford it. Like u i don't ask anyone else to pay my way, so it's none of their business.

This would be a good response and doesn’t show that your colleagues’ comments are getting to you.

They are jealous of you! Part time roles are like hens teeth in my career. Gloat. It will drive them CRAZY. I know this because im hugely jealous, would love a 30 hour week.

She doesn't sound like she's judging the full timers. Just saying she would rather have this time, not that she thinks everyone should.

I do 3 days because although we'd be better off even after childcare if I worked 4 or 5, that's not what we wanted for DD. We have no other childcare except nursery, my parents are too far away and my mum still works anyway, and DHs are too old to keep up with her.

But I don't judge those working full time, because they're doing what works for them and their families. I often weigh up the financial differences Vs the time at home with DD of me working a different pattern or more hours, to see whether it would be better for the family for me to work more or not.

We're all just doing what's right for our individual families.

Sure its nobody's business. Women cant win. As others say part time hours is less money.

Same. It's not like I'm being paid for the same hours as a full timer and going "hahaha, I'm not working tomorrow but YOU are, suckers!!".

I'm not working that day and not being paid for it. You're working that day and being paid for it. You want part time hours? Ask for them! Watch your bank balance drop.

I only ever worked 30 hours (TA in school)
Now I look after my DD's children 2 -3 days a week, care for my adult DS who has autism and work two days a week. So I'm still working at least 4 days and only get paid for two.

I get lots of semi well meaning flack from my colleagues when I roll up on Thursdays.. I just grin and tell them how lovely it was chatting to other Mums and Grannies at baby sensory this week...

Women cannot win. Work, don't work.. we can't ever win so smile and wave !

You can afford your work pattern, and it is what is best for your family. Win win.
People who would criticise you are probably jealous. In some circles, you are a failure if you are not working 50/60 hours a week.
No one on their death bed said they wished they worked more.

Other PP have said it, I’ll repeat it: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

I’m a single mum of 2 DC, work FT (as a nurse, so it’s long days on the ward and shifts). I’ve always worked FT (apart from the two times I was at uni doing my degrees - then I worked PT).

over the years, I’ve had people tell me:
-I shouldn’t have had kids as I farm them off to childcare.
-their wife/spouse/partner stays home as they don’t believe kids should be without a parent looking after them.
-I’m a scrounging single mum who leaches off the government.
-latchkey kids are poorly behaved/haven’t been parented properly.

So I can’t actually bloody win. And neither can any of us…because there’s always going to be some bright spark that makes a judgement. Frankly they can all bog off. Just do what’s right for you and your family.