Partner just thinking he can bring his son to live with me

I was a bit sympathetic to him initially (whilst also acknowledging that the situation is untenable and unfair on you). However, once I read that he screamed at you my thoughts were how dare he. You're putting him up in your house and have been very patient so far with his son. This can't go on.

You sound like you are in an abusive relationship. Think about it, if one of your family members or friend asked you for advice on this situation you’d be telling them to kick them out and break up.

It doesn’t matter if he has no where to go, that’s on him not you. What would have happened if he was single when he lost his place?

He doesn’t care about you. If he did he would be listening to your complaints and feelings instead of blaming you.

You also said he doesn’t have a job? He is a cocklodger. He has tried to trap you into taking him in so he can leech off you.

Please please please split up with this man. Do you have any family or close friends you can tell about this situation so they can help you? This relationship is really wrong and you need to really think about what it’s doing to you.

My heart goes out to you. You are in a situation that you didn't plan on. You should not put up with the disrespectful partner or his son. I know from being a teacher that you need special training to handle an autistic child. The child shouldn't have been dumped on you like that. The worst thing that could have happened to the child was to take him away from his routine.I hope things work out for you.

You're a mug but you enjoy wallowing in it. No sympathy you know what needs to be done. Throw them out the council is obliged to house a parent and a child in emergency accommodation. Him saying his only option is to move in with his ex is bullshit. He's emotionally blackmailing you.

And he keeps on showing you who he really is - I would encourage this and she can support his jobless ass. Honestly, he has zero respect for you - stop with all the hand wringing and kick the useless POS out - the child is NOT homeless and where a grown adult man lives is NOT your problem. He doesn’t even sound like he even tries to be reasonable, he is acting like a moron and that child needs to be in some form of school environment.

This was meant to be my new home and my fresh start.

Yes it was, @Feelinglost10, but you are sabotaging yourself and repeating destructive patterns.

You were desperate to get away and find a new home, but you have allowed your physical and emotional brutalizer back into your life and he has taken control. That was his agenda all along. In his devious mind, this was never going to be temporary. He rides roughshod over your boundaries, cows you with anger, and expects you to be his cash cow. He doesn’t care that his son is wreaking havoc.

How can you stand to breathe the same air after he beat you to a pulp and killed your baby?

You put yourself in this trap and now you must get yourself out. You can do that, but only if you view this dangerous manipulative abuser as poison, remove him from your life, and build iron-clad boundaries to keep him gone. If you don’t, you will never have peace and safety, only chaos and trauma.

@Feelinglost10, do not bend to his hostility and manipulative blame-shifting. Take back control and get him and his son out with the help of the police. They can go to his Ex’s or somewhere else — he must figure that out himself. Get a restraining order to keep him away from you. I also suggest that you access the Freedom Programme and IC to work on your self-esteem, boundaries, and coping strategies.

What an awful answer for OP.
He's totally taking her for a ride. He should not be shouting at her or letting his son wreck her home. If anything is broken he should replace. He should be grateful for her putting him up and apologetic for any damage done by his son.
Sorry what you said about her being unwilling to include his son is completely out of order. She isn't up for being totally used by him. That's the issue and she's right to feel that way.

Hey OP, I know this is going to be so difficult for you right now. I empathise with you. Unfortunately I think he’s managed to suck you back into his abusive cycle. I don’t normally post replies but as a victim of DV who eventually left, there’s a reason why you left and I think you know it too but I know how awful it feels when you’ve been duped again but know it’s not your fault and abusers are master manipulators but please don’t let him taint your new life now. Please listen to those who have advise you lock the doors and notify police, do this for you. You deserve a peaceful life, with no one screaming at you. People care about you, don’t accept this masquerade of love from someone who doesn’t care. Think about how lovely it’ll be to have your space again.

I know it’s hard, please seek help. From women’s aid or your local DV service. If you’re struggling to locate them please ask the national domestic abuse hotline.

Youre not alone, not stupid, not unreasonable. You’re stressed, in a difficult place and I’m sure feeling let down but we all want the best for you 🖤

Read the whole thread. The man is violent and abusive and has taken the child away from his mother and his school.

You only have two options:

• Kick him out and end the relationship because he has treated you awfully. A good relationship doesn’t leave you in tears.
• Carry on and not moan. If you don’t kick him out, then you are actively choosing to keep the chaos.

This is you partners child, he is 6.. he,s a child, he needs help, look at schools, work together, if you love your partner take compassion on this poor child and sort yourself out instead of worry about the sofa being dirty.

How do you tell him?? You Just Tell Him! And now.
I can't believe he didn't consult you first.

Here is when you take the way out of all this mess by saying YES GO. (And don’t come back).

Absolutely do not show an aggressive, abusive man this thread!

@Feelinglost10 i hope you are ok and safe. Your boyfriend is a violent thug. He does not love you, this is not a loving relationship. You need to get him out of your home and your life. I don’t know where in the world you are but please reach out and get contacts for services that can support you. You can leave him but you need hep to do it.

His son is not your concern, he has two
parents. You are the most important person in your life. You need to protect you. And your dog.

Show him this post and ask him what he thinks he should do - jump or be pushed!

Just think - nice lady who works, has money, has nice new house - I have not paid rent so chucked out, have no job and dont want to work - oh by the way I have an out of control autistic son who my wife would be happy for me to look after. Bingo problem solved. And if lady doesn’t like it tough!!

You should let him do this.

It blows my mind! There are so many lovely single women and men trying to find a partner without success and yet a low life like the OPs DP not only manages to find her, abuses her and gets away with it and is taken back showing further abuse yet still not being kicked out but loved and looked after.
OP please please you’re worth way more than that and it you don’t believe me you really need a therapy to help yourself get over this relationship. Nothing sounds healthy about it

You need serious help!

This is your home stand up to him and tell him they have to go .
He is using you and probably knew what he was going to do all along.
I'd end things with him and start life again in your home by yourself trust me you will feel relieved and much happier.
This man is out of order x

This sounds awful. You absolutely should not be dealing with this. The fact he threatens with going to live with ex says everything. As he has option you need to let him take that and restore your peace.
good luck x

Sorry OP, stop moaning on here and just tell him them both to leave.
He’s using you!

I'm sorry but at this point he does. You haven't agreed to it but he does live with you and so does his son. He has no intention to get another place and will stay there with you until you make him leave.

Honestly i agree with PP's. Theres no hope for the OP at all, the amount of help she's clearly already had and thrown away, aswell as her attitude on this thread shows that. But wouldn't social services be heavily involved with this family anyways if the dad currently has a trail pending for battering his current girlfriend so bad she miscarried?

Its highly unlikely people are going to let this thug fly under the radar now he has just taken his SEN son. I wouldnt be surprised if in a few days the police and other agencies are knocking at your door looking for him. For that little boys sake, I really hope you reach out and tell them the truth and don't actually harbour or encourage him. Your priorities are all wrong here.