Partner just thinking he can bring his son to live with me

Why did his accommodation fall through yesterday? Did/does he have a deposit? How was he planning to pay rent if he is unemployed? You really need your ask yourself some serious questions here.

You are the only person who doesn’t seem to grasp what is happening. You keep repeating the horrors like it bewilders you. Stop! You are the only person who can save yourself.

I totally get that and it seems OP does to but that’s not what her post is about, she never said she wasn’t willing to ever be a stepmother she said she isn’t ready to have the son living with i. HER home now that she PAYS for and she does not have to be, she also said she’s unhappy how it happened and how it’s going. They have not even made the decision to live together yet yet alone be a live in stepmother/carer to his son.

I'll say to you what I said to another poster in your position Op, no man should ever move into your home unless he's invited. When a man moves himself in no good EVER comes of it. I know you had hopes of a long term relationship but that's not going to happen Op, this man is all about himself and his DC, he thinks you have no say in your own home. He needs to leave, if he won't go call the police- don't be a mug, he'll take advantage

Sounds like it was planned he just didn’t tell you the plans.
His plans were free accommodation, free housekeeper and free childcare.

This. He is a GROWN ASS MAN, not a toddler. He is more than capable of sorting something out but if you just go and hide in your bedroom while his son destroys your house, do you honestly think he will ever leave? No sense of responsibility for his son, no job, no nothing. He saw you coming a mile away. How can you be in love with such a feckless cocklodger???

If you don't feel safe getting him to leave, call the police. Don't give him till tomorrow, if he realises you are serious you'll get pleading puppy dog eyes and false apologies then he'll act like a shit again. Police. Now. Him. Out.

And the son will probably be back with his mum faster than you can say eviction!

She hasn’t become a step parent. She’s got this boyfriend, who she doesn’t even live with, they are really only dating. He has a son. She’s ‘dad’s girlfriend’.

If they’d planned to move in together, the scenario you paint may be more likely and should be discussed before moving in as part of the decision.

All that is a long way from boyfriend being permitted to stay for a couple of days/weeks while he sorts his housing, and lo and behold moves himself and his son in with no discussion. To a house they have no right to be in.

I have a feeling she will take him back, make him promise to change his ways and be back to square one in no time at all. I’ve had my fair share of shit relationships so I know the drill!

If you kick him out he can go to the council and say he's homeless. He has a child who is with him now so they will give him temporary housing until he gets his own council place. Or he could get a private rented place and get benefits if he's not working. But it's not on you to just give him your home because he has decided it works for him.

Isn't he the same guy who had form for randomly keeping his son out of school and not parenting him at all? He's very irresponsible and needs to step up for his kid.

There is no EXACTLY about it! The answer is still the same regardless @Feelinglost10 GET RID OF HIM!!

Honestly why in the world are you putting up with this.

Chuck him out now.

Oh my God he is BOLD. Utterly shameless.

Excuse me, he doesn't work.

You do realize he is using you, he never had a place to go and if he did he probably couldn't afford it.

STOP being walked all over RIGHT NOW. THIS will be your life from now on if you let it.

He'll tell you that he'd getting another place short term etc etc. Trust me, he'll be there this time next year if you don't stop this NOW. Does he get child benefit? I wonder why he brought his child to stay with you. Contact the police, that child should be at school! Where the fuck is that child's mother?

Break up with him , ask him to leave. His housing is not your issue !!! Plus his son’s autism may mean he meets a priority need with the local authority , so he may get housed (if he’s the primary career for his autistic son). Throw this one back OP! Enjoy YOUR life !

Does your partner work? How did he 'lose' his last home?

This. Just kick him out and never see him again @Feelinglost10

They can both leave right now and stay in a premier inn.

I am sorry @Feelinglost10 but this man is not a keeper, he's a cocklodger. His sense of entitlement with little regard to to you is just despicable.

HE IS SHOWING YOU WHO HE IS. Believe him and get rid.

@Feelinglost10
what are you doing sat in your bedroom avoiding the situation???

it’s YOUR home that you have bought yourself ffs

go downstairs and tell him calmly but firmly you did not sign up for neither him nor his child living with you.

he needs to take his child back to his mother as he’s homeless and has no job so no means to keep his child and you are NOT prepared to step in either financially or house wise.

tell him it’s best he leaves in the morning or even now with said child.

id throw this one back in op I really would.

When you say stormed out do you mean from the room or the house? If they've both gone out I'd bolt the door tbh. The relationship would be over for me because of his assumptions.

OP is in denial, the relationship is over, there is no coming back from this. This protohominid cocklodger planned this all along, he doesnt want a relationship he wants a slave to exploit.

Thinking about it, he is probably assuming that his son is a ticket to a local authority flat.

No one love bombs like a man with no home.
Not sure how long you’ve been together but is this how you see your life?
Neither the man or his child are your responsibility. He is a leech. Remove him before you lose everything you’ve worked for, V unlikely to have been a flat, with no job or money, it was to get his foot in the door, to soften you up for living there.
I would consider calling police to ask advice as he’s being abusive, is refusing to return his autistic son and is potentially putting your dog at risk, Be very careful though, have you got a male friend or family member who could be with you?

You’ve got yourself a proper cocklodger there OP! Don’t you think it’s a bit coincidental how his housing ‘fell through’ as soon as you got yourself a new home. Hmmmm…
I think whilst he’s off flouncing I’d put the latch on, go and pack his stuff up and leave it outside the door. He can go to a hotel with his son and you get your home back.

In other news… I think some posters forget that having a relationship is not always with a view to it being forever. Sometimes you know it’s not forever but choose to stay because of x y or z. So it’s fine for OP to say she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s son living with her! Or even staying there overnight to be honest!

Unfortunately this isn’t true OP. You can’t just have whoever you want live with you in a private rental. The property was leased to you only. The landlord may not have accepted children for example. You need to obtain their consent to move additional people into the property or you could be in breach of your contract.

Of course you don't love his son, you barely know him.

He sounds abusive OP, screaming at you in YOUR home.
Loser.
He thinks he can bully you into this.

Call 101 and have this loser removed and his son returned to his mother.

You have years of nothing but grief ahead of you if you accept this.