Partner just thinking he can bring his son to live with me

Yeah ,I don't think that's quite the situation here ,the blokes only just moved in ,this isn't some long term abuse situation

Your partner doesn't have the capacity to look after the child. He has no job, no home, no money and frankly is a shit parent.

I understand that you don't want to make him and his son homeless but them staying with you isn't helping anyone. Can he present as homeless at the council with his son? Does he have parent's or family he can stay with.

Realistically, the child isn't homeless and he shouldn't be put in such an unstable situation. The child needs to return to his mother and if he wants the child he needs to sort his shit out and do it properly.

You talk about love but your partner hasn't demonstrated love in this situation. He unilaterally making decisions that affect you. He's not discussed anything with you. He hasn't asked your opinion. TBH, if he had his own home I could understand it but this is your home. How dare he shout at you and disrespect you in your home.

You need to decide how long you're prepared to tolerate the situation. I don't doubt you'll have to ask them to leave. The question is when.

Child needs to go home to his mum.

Cuntychops needs to be dumped.

You need to reflect on why you have such a low bar for a partner’s behaviour (and therapy might help).

Hope doggo’s leg gets better soon.

Tachtestic is offering kind support as OP may not have any from anywhere else?? When you are trapped in an abusive relationship its not so easy to just "leave" on command. You have to be ready.

48 hours more like

Hearing that there's a backstory, the one I feel most sorry for here is the dog. The kid, too, but sounds like he takes after his lovely user of a father and can at least give voice to his complaints. The poor dog has no-one looking out for him.

Have you written about this boyfriend and his son before, with the son's mother having so many other children...

It does sound very familiar.

It’s fine everyone saying tell him to go and I’m allowing myself to be used. But WHERE can he go? He doesn’t have money.

and as vile as he seems to be to everyone hes still my partner and still someone I love.

Sorry OP but if you are going to continue with those thoughts we can't help you, however many posts we make.

There is no magic wand.
There is no genie in a lamp.
There are no fairies at the bottom of the garden.
There is no third way.

If you do nothing they will stay for a very long time. Because they have it made.

So, simply, you have to decide which is more important to you. Giving a home to this man and his son because you love him, or living in peace without them.

And no amount of posts can give you any different.

If you give him 30 days to move out, he'll be classed by the council as officially homeless. He can go straight to the council for temporary accommodation and placed on a waiting list for social housing. It's actually better for him. You cannot allow him to stay!

You read all of the OPs posts, including the ones about him screaming at her, moving his son in without any conversation, letting his son destroy her home, harming her dog, being unemployed, having no money, not contributing to any household expenses, leaving the house a shit tip for her to sort when she returns from work and you think posters are over-reacting by telling her to kick him out?

Are you quite alright?

You say the situation is mental (which it is), but you are not doing anything to get this man and his child out of your house. What do you expect us to say if you won’t take advice? You are being used. Your BF is a CF. This will be your life now if you don’t get them both out. That poor child should be in a stable environment, and it’s your BF’s responsibility to sort this. It’s your call..

And animal abuse / neglect too.

Was about to say the same. There's a lot of back story here and none of it good.

I think we're all wasting our time; OP just wanted to have a moan. He'll still be there at Christmas.

You're not making a child homeless. He has a home. And he needs to go back there. You need to contact social services and the police.

As for this man, your "partner" - you're not making him homeless either. He was already homeless which is why he's taken up with you.

You need to take action OP as you are currently complicit in child neglect and potentially worse.

What also need to be hammered in her head is she is complicit in child neglect. She needs to get rid of them.

Ok, you are not going to kick him out right now, you love him etc, but you will leave him eventually you must know that? You dont deserve to sacrifice your life for an abusive MORON. You may have to do all the work though re social services and the council. Talk to him tomorrow or when he is next calm and tell him he needs to move out or its over. It's a shitter of a situation and I really feel sorry for you, dont lose yourself.

I think this poster has been advised countless times before, that this man doesn't love her, that he's an abusive waster. It's all fallen on deaf ears.

Are you scared of him when he screams at you?

As if you are, and he does it again, I’d be calling the police to have him removed. And as you don’t have PR if they decide to arrest him they’ll have to take the child to a safe place, and sort him out somewhere to go

Had he said why the boy can’t go to his mum?

Get your important documents, business tech, bank cards etc safely hidden away. Tomorrow can you take the day off? Call a friend to be with you if you can but if not let someone know that you’ll be in contact with them during the morning. Tell this cf free loader than he’s leaving now with his son. His homelessness and his kid are not your problem. He gets his things and goes. It will be tough. If he might he violent inform the local police in advance. Get his key off him. In any case change the locks tomorrow. Where he goes is not your problem. Check your safety and inform family and friends.

The OP is clearly raging at the situation but also at our suggestions?!

And unwilling to do anything about it.

It sounds to me like you don't want to just throw them out and I think that's understandable tbh, you love them you just didn't sign up to be blindsided. Ask him to sit down with you once child is in bed and talk to him about his plan. Get a list together of the things he needs to do ie contact the housing service at the local council and explain that he and his son are homeless and need emergency housing - explain you'll support him to go and help him with forms etc if he's feeling overwhelmed himself. Is it out of character to shout at you?

Add to the list contacting the mother whilst your with him so you work out what's really going and if he taking full custody, he needs to speak to the local authority about a school place and a solicitor if needed (not always required if its a joint decision) If he agrees and follows through on the plans tomorrow, you can work together on it. It's sounds like there is more to come from this decision. Just as a side, my kids are off school atm, half term last week and 2 days inset days, so the child might not be due back in school until Wednesday.

I have read all OP's posts but not the entire thread, so apologies if I am repeating what others have said more eloquently.

Ignore posts that go straight to dump your BF or throw them out on the street. That is typical Mumsnet. You could post that your DH of thirty years had left a coffee cup ring on the kitchen worktop and people on here would be telling you to divorce him.

But you do need to speak to him. Wait until the kid is in bed and tell him calmly that you enjoy being in a relationship with him, that you are happy for him to stay with you while he finds a new place, and that you enjoy being a stepmum to his child that lives full-time with his ex, but you never signed up to being in effect a full-time parent, and you don't want to. Tell him that you want his son to go back to his ex until he finds his new place, and at that point it would be great if his son came to live with him and you get to see them both. Offer him a week to make arrangements. If he argues then say you are sorry, but in that case then they both need to find alternative arrangements, whether it is with a friend or a family member.

If he is a good man, he will understand. He may not be happy and he may decide that your relationship cannot survive this, but it sounds like your relationship cannot survive the alternative either, and at this rate you will lose your home and your dog is suffering.

If he is not a good man and cannot understand your point of view, then it is better to know now before you move in together or marry him.

Good luck. It sounds like hell.

You don't want to be helped
Your to busy making excuses
No point posting if your not going to take advice
Your being used
There never was any accommodation that fell through
You are the accommodation
He's not working or earning or contributing to his upkeep,never mind contributing for his child's food , heating,water , electric.
He has no intention of leaving
And he's already realised he can shut you down by shouting at you .
But hay ...you love him ,so that's all ok then

Of course it was prepared and planned. Not by you, but by your partner.

And where they go is not your problem. It's his. One that he brought on himself by treating your home with complete disrespect and allowing his son to cause serious damage to your sick dog.