Partner just thinking he can bring his son to live with me

How long have you known and been in a relationship with this guy?

Does it not ring alarm bells that this guy has put it in your head that the mother of this child "probably doesn't care"? He has essentially kidnapped the child. He is clearly NOT the resident parent. Is he the father of any of the other children?

You need to stop ranting on MN and calm down and have a rational conversation with this guy. You need to tell him that you appreciate he has no where else to go, but if he is going to be staying here temporarily, there needs to be boundaries in place. Autism isn't an excuse not to be able to follow rules - in fact most children with autism benefit from rules and boundaries. Sit down and agree the house rules. If he cannot agree then he goes. End of.

“I tried to bring it up today and got screamed at”
OP in no uncertain terms - please end this relationship immediately and demand that this man find somewhere else to live immediately. He is AWFUL. Get away from him NOW. Speak to Women’s Aid

I think OP you are a caring person who has been taken advantage of here. It is absolutely reasonable to want your home to be a safe haven. It is also reasonable to have your home be YOUR home where no one enters without asking, and absolutely no one moves in without asking! These are very, very reasonable boundaries that he is trampling. The fact he has resorted to blackmail when you've pushed back and tried to enforce your boundaries says a lot about his attitude and his character. Do you need support to talk through this situation and figure out how to deal with it? If you don't feel able to get him to leave, perhaps speak with Women's Aid for some advice?

I have a lot of children and I can assure you I wouldn't want to have ANY of them stolen and taken to live with some random woman.

This alone is enough to put me off him. He added to this lady’s list.

Having unprotected sex during ovulation = trying to get pregnant.

Sorry I was referring to the people who were asking what was actually true or if it was just from your 'boyfriend'.
Maybe you should check with authorities or the mother before keeping her son in your house...

Hmmmm, the plot thickens

Pretty relevant if he's the same abuser you were trying to get away from. If he's not, then he's a new boyfriend you must have only just met.

Trying for a baby, then 🤷‍♀️

I agree with this. Why are you getting so angry with people pointing out that it would be better not date someone with children in the future? I do understand that you are shocked that you have been put in this situation, and it has all happened so quickly, but if you are involved with someone who is a parent, this can happen at any given time.
My DH died in his mid 30’s, this is just one situation where children would have to move to be resident with the other parent.
I do feel people are posting to try and help you.

Op already said that the mother has so many kids she probably hasn’t noticed the child’s absence, or is grateful for the break.

Which begs the question, why would op want her own family with a man who adds to another woman’s long list of children?

I’m imagining that this man is not of high morals or standards, and probably older than the op, who is being manipulated and taken advantage of. Just a guess though.

Why did you say he has nowhere to go when he can go to his ex?

Just let him go?

You’re acting like the only thing stopping you is that he has nowhere to go, but when he says he’ll go to his ex, you go ‘What a thing to say.’

Sounds like you’re only going to get yourself out of this situation after they’ve been well and truly trashed your place.

And why have you ignored the questions about whether your partner’s parents are? I’m guessing that’s another place where you don’t want him to go.

part of their lives is not the same as 24/7 with no discussion.

Ah Op there are a few posters on here with a bad case of internalised misogyny who think they being a good stepmother means allowing your house to be destroyed, your pets terrorised, to not have a minute to yourself, to do childcare, to not say anything remotely negative about your step children ever regardless of how they treat you and behave, and all the while you need to smile indulgently and love every minute. They think women especially mothers and ESPECIALLY stepmothers need to be compete martyrs basically!

The bottom line is that he has no resoect for you. None at all. Not for you as a oerson. Not for your house. Not for your dog.
He expects you to house him. He expects you to house his ds wo any discussion about it. And when his ds wasn’t living either him in the first place!
The fact the mother doesn’t seem to mind makes me wonder if your bf didn’t plan it in the first place.

I totally get why you dint want to kick him out. Who would do that, esp Theres a child to consider.
But at the same time, it’s not sustainable situation for you. And your bf is guilt tripping you and emotionally manipulating you (that’s what the ‘I’ll go back to live with my ex’ is about). And the huge issue is the fact none of that is conductive to a proper adult discussion where you can both take each other pov into account.

You need to talk to him.
Bit more importantly you need boundaries (in your head) of what you’re happy to accept. Like are you happy for him to stay another 2 weeks, 1 months, 6 months? With his ds (that’s by then will be at school local where you are etc…).
Otherwise, he’ll take you first granted agd will just settle in your iwn house :( and that’s clearly not a possible situation.

That's a good outcome for the child and for you, even though you seem determined not to see it.

Ah yes she did say that but then people were asking if this was actually true and she hasn't answered after that x

Why won't you answer what's happening with the child's mother? Are you sure this isn't an excuse for your boyfriend to not have to work and to start claiming benefits/get housed?

What does your IDVA say about you being pregnant by your abuser? Does she know this child has been taken from his mum and is now living with you and your abuser? Hopefully the midwife will make a safeguarding referral for both the boy and the unborn baby.