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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Raising a formal complaint at school

159 replies

Ricecakesaremyjam · 02/06/2025 14:35

My sons school are acting unlawfully towards him and have been for some time. All attempts to ask the headteacher SENCO to do their legal duty by my son are brushed off. I am literally gaslit every time I speak to her.
I am about to raise a formal complaint to the governing body but I’m scared 😂 will the school hate me and my kids forever? I
know I need to do it and I’m being stupid but I have a horrible habit of second guessing myself! Thanks x

OP posts:
perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 13:07

BTW, I know flexischooling isn’t full-time EHE, but it is covered it the EHE guidance.

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 13:06

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti that might be what the LA and school are calling it, but it doesn’t mean it legally is. It isn’t, as per the government’s EHE guidance.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 13:00

Agree SEN board likely to be better than AIBU.

Pleaseshutthefuckup · 03/06/2025 12:56

Some of the posts here are absolutely appalling in true loving MN style 🙄.

The child isn't a bloody ape who needs a plastic spoon and bowl and a cage and all will be ok ffs.

These specialist places can be really appalling, they are often privately run and out of the same watchful eye of a mainstream. We've had recent
programmes on TV with under cover filming in such places. They can be a shit show.

Teachers are up against it right now. No one is blaming teachers. OP has funding allocated, which the school receive, unless I'm mistaken, and what are they doing with that? It sounds like NOT proportionate support and intervention to me.

Her child is academically capable. She simply wants more than what's being offered. And so she should.

The SEN board sounds better than here OP. I don't know enough about progressing this.

I did consult a SEN lawyer for a free 20 minutes. They were very helpful. But it's only 20 minutes.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 12:52

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 12:49

Ultimately it is the LA who is responsible for ensuring provision detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP is provided, and it can be enforced via legal proceedings if necessary. As LAs have been repeatedly shown, lack of resources, staffing or funding are not lawful excuses for breaching section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014. When faced with enforcement action, LAs can and do fund the 1:1 at a higher rate, sometimes a much higher rate.

Agree. Having read some of the OP’s other posts it’s the LA she needs to be working with. Sounds like the escalating behaviour at school is becoming unmanageable now so alternative arrangements need to be sorted.

Ricecakesaremyjam · 03/06/2025 12:52

@Swiftie1878 No I’m not. We will be lucky to go away on a caravan weekend this year as I have had to leave work to facilitate him only being allowed to go to school 2hrs a day, so moneys tight.

OP posts:
AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 12:51

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 12:44

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti as per the government’s EHE guidance, DC who are flexischooled still get a full-time education. If DN is flexischooled, legally speaking, DN would be legally classed as receiving a full-time education, just not all in school. Some in school, some otherwise than at/in school and the remaining amount flexischooling. If DN isn’t getting a full-time education then it wouldn’t be called flexischooling. It would be a part-time education - just provided across different settings, which would still be lawful if full-time education in any form wouldn’t be appropriate. In the OP’s case, her LA would have a very difficult time arguing that in law since other provision (and not just academic provision - therapeutic, child-led provision can be provided) to provide a full-time education has not been considered.

You mentioned your mother wouldn’t be advocating for that arrangement… so I presumed DM had care of DN. If that isn’t the case, DM wouldn’t have a say in it regardless of if she agreed or not.

DSis and DN live next door to my parents. Bit daft to have an expert next door and not use their expertise.

They seem to call it flexi-schooling here. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But whatever he is getting has been through considered negotiation with the (smal
village primary) school and the LA (with mum in attendance as she knows the regulations inside out (she is regularly an expert witness in tribunals). There has been some give and take over the last 3 years, I’m sure. But there has never been a blow up.

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 12:49

Ultimately it is the LA who is responsible for ensuring provision detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP is provided, and it can be enforced via legal proceedings if necessary. As LAs have been repeatedly shown, lack of resources, staffing or funding are not lawful excuses for breaching section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014. When faced with enforcement action, LAs can and do fund the 1:1 at a higher rate, sometimes a much higher rate.

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 12:44

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti as per the government’s EHE guidance, DC who are flexischooled still get a full-time education. If DN is flexischooled, legally speaking, DN would be legally classed as receiving a full-time education, just not all in school. Some in school, some otherwise than at/in school and the remaining amount flexischooling. If DN isn’t getting a full-time education then it wouldn’t be called flexischooling. It would be a part-time education - just provided across different settings, which would still be lawful if full-time education in any form wouldn’t be appropriate. In the OP’s case, her LA would have a very difficult time arguing that in law since other provision (and not just academic provision - therapeutic, child-led provision can be provided) to provide a full-time education has not been considered.

You mentioned your mother wouldn’t be advocating for that arrangement… so I presumed DM had care of DN. If that isn’t the case, DM wouldn’t have a say in it regardless of if she agreed or not.

alcoholnightmare · 03/06/2025 12:41

I never understand how parents when awarded 1:1 for thier children in mainstream schools think this will actually happen.
great idea in theory of course…. But who’s going to put an Aldi shop in a week, pay bills, rent etc for a TA on about £1.34 an hour? This isn’t the schools fault, or the LAs fault… it’s the governments! We cannot recruit people to do these thankless jobs for sod all money.
why don’t you give up your job @OPand be a 1:1 TA, school hours, term time only, with the pay to reflect exactly that?

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 12:40

Ricecakesaremyjam · 03/06/2025 11:46

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti
If you read my posts, I am not insisting he goes to school full time, nor have I refused to pick him up until 3.15 etc as has been suggested. I know my son’s presentation, I know he needs specialist education. He wouldn’t have been diagnosed and have a hard fought for EHCP at the age of 4 had I not been aware of his level of need.
I am not trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
Ironinically, your “law innit” comment was the comment that showed ignorance of the situation though. And yes it is the law that my son receives education, of some kind, and that is what I am trying to achieve for him.

Apologies - I’m just going off your posts here, which are a little confusing for someone with none of the previous context.

I know how hard this is for parents - it’s one of the reasons my mum still works in the field despite being in her 70s because she feels she has to advocate for kids in a biased system.

DN was diagnosed by 2, such are his challenges. He can’t read or write but his maths is exceptional. He’s a very sweet and charming boy, despite having no verbal language of his own. He had a lot of early years intervention which lead to the school support. It’s been harder when the learning has become more formal in reception and he can’t just “freestyle” like in nursery. There have been issues with his 121 being absent at times and no other support being put in place. I do get it.

2 hours a day may well not be enough for your son. It isn’t right that you have to fight so hard for his entitlement. But I think LAs respond better to calm challenge than shouty demands (again, I don’t know what you have tried already).

ThisChirpyFox · 03/06/2025 12:36

OP I know your dc has autism but how does this affect him at school to the point he can only be there for two hours?

They might have a ta, but if there is extremely challenging behaviour or something else seriously happening where the school feels they can't make it work, then what else can they do?

I know you said they haven't made any provision but what do you think they could do?

Is your child a danger to himself or others? Sorry, but a bit of background info about what his needs are and why the school have come to this conclusion might help.

Swiftie1878 · 03/06/2025 12:34

Ricecakesaremyjam · 02/06/2025 14:53

Sorry that was lazy of me to not explain.
ok so summary is this, my 5yr old is autistic has an EHCP, been kept on a part time table of 2hrs since starting school in September, this is despite school receiving funding for a 1:1 for him in addition to EHCP funding, I accept they can’t meet his needs but my issue is they have never implemented alternative provision for him despite the local authority providing funding for it and it being requested many, many times.
it’s been months of my son missing education and the support he needs, I have asked and asked and just get fobbed off and gaslit. At what point do I escalate this? They are breaking the bloody law. I am trying to move him to a specialist school by the way but as with all SEN stuff, it is a lengthy process.

Are you the same poster who wants to take their child out for an important family holiday and has had the request come back as unauthorised?

I ask because, if so, you are in danger of just looking vengeful. I’d try as much as possible to keep your different issues with the school separate.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 12:33

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 11:36

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti it is your mother’s right to request flexischooling (although school’s don’t have to agree) but it can’t be forced on parents. And your DN is also receiving some provision otherwise than in school. It is not the same situation at all. Your DN is not being unlawfully, informally excluded resulting in him not receiving a suitable, full-time education.

He’s not receiving a full time education, but that is because it wouldn’t work for him. (It’s my sister, not my mother that is his parent.) He’s getting about 3 hours of at home support provided by the LA at present. My sister isn’t pushing that because she wants the flexibility schooling arrangement. It’s a child-centred approach.

I was offering a different experience. I don’t agree that the school should restrict OP’s child (I haven’t read her previous threads though) but I’m not sure that “full time or nothing at this school” is in the best interests of this child. Maybe a calm facilitated discussion will have greater impact than formal complaints. Maybe OP has already tried that. I don’t know. We don’t know OP’s son or the school (I’m also a governor at 2 mainstream schools) or what has been tried previously.

Ricecakesaremyjam · 03/06/2025 12:23

I want them to use his funding to put in place AP for the time he is not in school. I’m totally flexible what that looks like. I just don’t want him neglected and left without any education.
I have had to leave employment to facilitate his 2hrs timetable in school placing our family under huge financial stress. I fought bloody hard for that EHCP, and it often feels like it was for nothing.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 03/06/2025 12:09

Ricecakesaremyjam · 03/06/2025 11:46

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti
If you read my posts, I am not insisting he goes to school full time, nor have I refused to pick him up until 3.15 etc as has been suggested. I know my son’s presentation, I know he needs specialist education. He wouldn’t have been diagnosed and have a hard fought for EHCP at the age of 4 had I not been aware of his level of need.
I am not trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
Ironinically, your “law innit” comment was the comment that showed ignorance of the situation though. And yes it is the law that my son receives education, of some kind, and that is what I am trying to achieve for him.

What do you want actually from the school?

They can't meet his needs, sounds like he isn't coping. Specifically what do you want them to do, quantifiable. You need to be very clear and specific.

Heronwatcher · 03/06/2025 11:58

It does sound like the school thought they could meet need at first but now have had to change their minds. On the funding I don’t know your situation but from working in other capacities I am aware of funding promised by the LA which simply hasn’t materialised, or where it has been too little to employ a suitable 1-1 or where it has simply been impossible to find a 1-1 to work in a mainstream school with the appropriate skills. So I wouldn’t assume that the school has received all the money.

It could also be the case that even with the 1-1, your DC is simply unable to cope for longer. For example I know that early years settings can be horrendous for some children with additional needs, they are often noisy, bright, crowded and lots of physical contact. If your DC needed a safe space, like a sensory room, and the school
doesnt have one then it’s almost impossible for the school to educate him even with full 1-1 funds.

I would suggest taking this up again with the Council and requesting a review of the EHCP. In the meantime I’d focus on finding a school where you think your DC’s needs can be met, or even more than one and making it clear that your preference would be for that school or one like it. And that your parental preference is not for your DC to stay at his current school.

The LA will probably still have to jump through various hoops but you’ll get there. Plus don’t stress in the meantime as your DC is so young he’ll catch up once he’s in the best setting for him. What you want to avoid is him spending any more time than he has to in an environment which is unsuitable- he’ll end up with school refusal and mental health problems which will only make things worse long term.

Ricecakesaremyjam · 03/06/2025 11:46

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti
If you read my posts, I am not insisting he goes to school full time, nor have I refused to pick him up until 3.15 etc as has been suggested. I know my son’s presentation, I know he needs specialist education. He wouldn’t have been diagnosed and have a hard fought for EHCP at the age of 4 had I not been aware of his level of need.
I am not trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
Ironinically, your “law innit” comment was the comment that showed ignorance of the situation though. And yes it is the law that my son receives education, of some kind, and that is what I am trying to achieve for him.

OP posts:
perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 11:36

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti it is your mother’s right to request flexischooling (although school’s don’t have to agree) but it can’t be forced on parents. And your DN is also receiving some provision otherwise than in school. It is not the same situation at all. Your DN is not being unlawfully, informally excluded resulting in him not receiving a suitable, full-time education.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/06/2025 11:33

This is not a “ time wasting baseless complaint” - are you seriously suggesting it’s ok for a child to receive just 2 hrs of education a day in any capacity?

Actually, my non-verbal, ARFID, very bright nephew, also 5, manages 2.5 hours of mainstream school 3 days a week (it’s his second year as he was in the nursery class last year). It’s what works for him.

His grandmother (my mother) is a SEN expert and absolutely wouldn’t be advocating for him to go full time. It wouldn’t work for him. Flexi schooling allows him to learn and interact with others without becoming completely deregulated (which is what forcing him there for 30 hours a week would do) and having negative impact on his non-school hours. The LA are supporting him with at home intervention as well. They’re working together to ensure he gets what he needs and can cope with. Not trying to jam a square peg into a round hole “cos law, innit”.

Renabrook · 03/06/2025 11:29

Ricecakesaremyjam · 02/06/2025 15:23

I am on a bit of a journey with this and I do accept he needs specialist school.
this isn’t what this thread is about.
it’s about the school failing to put any alternative provision in place meaning my son is not receiving the full time education that he should be receiving in some way shape or form

But how have they acted illegally?

1SillySossij · 03/06/2025 11:22

Te problem is not funding, but finding a suitable person who is willing someone who is willing to do the job

JudithOnHolidayAgain · 03/06/2025 11:22

I say this kindly as a school governor and a parent of a child in a special school who has fought the system.......focus your energy on finding the right provision rather than complaining about a school that is clearly not right for your child.
Even if you complain and the governors agree with you what will that actually achieve?

perpetualplatespinning · 03/06/2025 11:14

Email the Director of Children’s Services requesting provision under section 19 of the Education Act 1996 and threatening JR if they do not comply. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with this, but there is a wait so you may want to look elsewhere. Then if that fails, you can look to pursue JR proceedings. If there is anything detailed, specified and quantified in F that isn’t being provided remind them of their duty under section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014 too - but enforcement via JR is only possible if the wording is detailed, specified and quantified. If it is vague and woolly it can’t be enforced.

Madthings · 03/06/2025 11:13

The local authority will have a formal complaint process onoine. You must follow that. But yes copy in director of children's services, ehcp coordinator, the send manager if you have their email. As awful as it is you have to shout loudly. I have had results by complaining formally and including the director of children's services.

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