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AIBU?

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Original poster

I just need encouraging words.

35 replies

juicelove · 02/06/2025 12:55

Last month my husband and I decided to separate. We have 3 month old twins and trying to co-parent the best we can. He will be moving out of state a couple hours away and I have to send our twins with him a few days out the week. I feel sick knowing my babies will not be with me everyday. I don’t know how I’m going to manage. This is so hard and I can not stop crying.

OP posts:
Original poster
juicelove · 02/06/2025 13:12

Katykaty11 · 02/06/2025 13:06

I think you might have to let the court look at the circumstances and what's best for the children. As well as living in two homes will they also attend two childcare facilities if you both work?

We have not discussed childcare. We both are working I have family who watches our babies while I’m at work.

OP posts:
Original poster
juicelove · 02/06/2025 13:10

AFrankExchangeofViews · 02/06/2025 13:06

I wouldn’t be agreeing to that if I did not have to. That would be very traumatic for tiny babies, they have no comprehension of what’s happening to them or why.
Spending time with their father will be more important later when they have some understanding of who he is and why he doesn’t live with them.
Do you have to do this?

I don’t have to, but this is the only way he’ll be able to see our babies.

OP posts:
upsofloating · 02/06/2025 13:06

juicelove · 02/06/2025 13:03

No this is an arrangement he wants.

Show quote history

This doesn't seem ok for three-month olds.

Katykaty11 · 02/06/2025 13:06

I think you might have to let the court look at the circumstances and what's best for the children. As well as living in two homes will they also attend two childcare facilities if you both work?

AFrankExchangeofViews · 02/06/2025 13:06

I wouldn’t be agreeing to that if I did not have to. That would be very traumatic for tiny babies, they have no comprehension of what’s happening to them or why.
Spending time with their father will be more important later when they have some understanding of who he is and why he doesn’t live with them.
Do you have to do this?

Stompythedinosaur · 02/06/2025 13:03

That seems very unusual at 3 months. I'd expect the babies to stay with you and their dad visits until around a year.

Original poster
juicelove · 02/06/2025 13:03

Wolfiefan · 02/06/2025 12:57

If they are three months and he’s the one who has chosen to move then I don’t see why you have to send them away. Is this court mandated?

No this is an arrangement he wants.

OP posts:
Original poster
juicelove · 02/06/2025 13:02

Uphighseesky · 02/06/2025 12:57

That sounds awful OP. Are you in the USA? Are there no rules about with whom the babies should spend time with?

I would have thought that at that age babies should remain with the mother in one place, and the father visits.

Yes, we’re just trying to make sure our boys can spend time with both parents. I’ve never been away for long(to appointments, shopping etc) I’m not sure how I’ll be able to deal with my seeing my babies for days.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 02/06/2025 12:57

If they are three months and he’s the one who has chosen to move then I don’t see why you have to send them away. Is this court mandated?

Uphighseesky · 02/06/2025 12:57

That sounds awful OP. Are you in the USA? Are there no rules about with whom the babies should spend time with?

I would have thought that at that age babies should remain with the mother in one place, and the father visits.

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