Is 46 too old for a baby?

46 may not be too old for a baby, but 62 is sure as hell too old to be wrangling a 16 year old! You have to consider the long-term stuff, OP.........

Too old for me. I’m 41, but I have two children so it’s very different to that yearning stage.

If you are wealthy, healthy and content to have a child with or without their dad (not just wanting a rose tinted baby with your lovely partner - things might change there) and accept baby could have health problems- like any child then you could always try.

My friends son is high needs autism and he will never live independently. She was 23 when he was born. It's a risk all parents take, not just if you're older.

Studies do show an increase in autism with increased parental age, however the risk remains small overall.

They also don't know the reason and some findings have shown it can be because it's genetic and some autistic people settle down later in life.

Broken home?

what an old fashioned thing to say

I'm your age and personally I wouldn't even consider trying for a baby! My peers all had kids in their 30's and now have teenagers who are becoming more independent and fly the nest to uni etc. I can't imagine introducing a baby into my social life as everyone I know is well past that stage.

You need to think more than just having a baby - you need to think about them as a toddler, child, pre-teen, teenager, young adult. My parents never did - they just wanted that to coo over a baby. I hated and still hate to this day having older parents (now just one).

I think that being mature and learning life lessons means you can be a great older Mum. What other PPs have said does stand, there is a heightened risk of disabilities, and you will be more tired but being younger doesn't guarantee you will be the best Mum. What you lack in physicality as you age, you should make up in maturity. I am an older Mum, having DD when I was 38, and I think I am much the better for it, being rather emotionally immature in my twenties and early thirties! I do feel old sometimes with younger Mums' but I also find myself giving them advice I wish I had when i was their age! Have you considered adoption? My friend adopted a 6 year old at 48. Obviously that's not plain sailing either, but worth thinking about.

'I also think it’s too old to start. Because I’d hate to be so old when they turn 18 etc. it’s not for me. If had both before I was 30, I got remarried at 40 and even then we were both very much no thanks . Only you know you though.'

Surely kids been a broken home is worse than being older when they turn 18

My friend had a baby ( conceived naturally) at 42. At 48 she wanted another. She was too old for UK ivf treatment so they went to Spain and had egg donation and used her husband's sperm. It cost £7,000 ten years ago plus the vista of several trips to the clinic in Spain. It wasn't a pleasant process and she had every pregnancy problem and a cesarean at the end. Her husband has nicest and nephews with autism ( and is probably autistic himself). Both chdren have problems. The parents have found it very hard.Their parents are all dead so no help there.Their friends all had much older children who have grown and gone now. Friend is 59 this year .Her husband is 60. They are worried about funding uni

Personally, I think 46 would be unfair to the child. It will probably take you a while to conceive and at the point you have the baby, you will be fast approaching 50.

Why don't you look into fostering or adoption? It would be amazing to give a child a happy story.

How long have you been with your partner? Not to be too much of a voice of doom, but if you're still in the first flush of love then you need to be prepared for the fact that it might not last long-term. Being a single mum of a young child in your late 40s does not sound fun, but it depends how great your yearning is for a child I suppose. It's certainly possible as plenty of replies on here prove. It's not ideal circumstantially, but you are where you are and if you want it enough and think you could cope with the potential issues around it (including coping if things go wrong and you lose the baby) then it could be worth a shot.

I wouldn’t risk it sorry.

That may be your personal experience but the fact is that autism is associated with increased parental age, as are many other conditions and risks.

While a lot of people have babies in their 40s, something I wasn't aware of until recently is that it's largely having a first baby post-40 that is considered a higher risk situation for the mother's health. The first pregnancy is the one where the biggest physical changes need to take place. So that's something to bear in mind, alongside the things others have mentioned. It definitely isn't impossible, though, of course!

My friend had a baby at 48. She's fit and healthy and doesn't look her age. Personally I couldn't do it at 48 BUT sometimes if you don't meet the right person until you're older I think it's better than having children with a completely unsuitable person at an earlier age.

Its not really about being too old for a baby, its more about the consequences to the fetus of older conception and then birth. could you cope with a child that had disabilities? What about your own health? pregnancy places a massive strain on your body. i had my last at 40 and the last couple of months were just horrible. sorry but I would say no dont go there. consider fostering or adoption would be my best advice.

So your child would 20 when you are nearly 70? No that does not sound fair on the child

Just try. If it happens it happens. I wouldn’t be going down IVF route but that’s ur own choice. Good luck

Women have perfectly healthy babies in their forties. In fact I know a few who have. Autism tends to be genetic and from my experience children who are born with it have a genetic link on both sides. Other conditions can be tested for.

well if you are still fertile then, then why not? If your body is able to get pregnant then nature is saying that it’s ok

just not a fan of using IVF at that age personally.

but if you have the resources and time and energy, why not?

I’d love to have another and I’m about that age but now I’ve got teens it wouldn’t be right and we’ve moved on to the next stage of life. But if you haven’t got children already then I’d say give it a go and see what happens.

Yes.

I have my second child (1) now at 36 and had my first at 30. We decided that if we didn't conceive when we were 35 and 37, then we'd call it a day as we didn't want to be old parents and unable to support our kids as they grew up.

Sleepless nights and looking after young children is HARD work physically and mentally. Your relationship and finances take a beating. My daughter hasn't slept longer than 3 hours in her whole life, I'm always tired! Pregnancy wasn't kind to me, having very severe sickness aged me almost overnight.

IMO, this ship has sailed. I'd enjoy holidays and the simple luxuries with your partner. My mum had me when she was 20 and is now going on days out, holidays and cruises with her DH every month. They are livin' it up! You can too!

I was raised by my GP, everyone thought they were my parent and tbh, I didn't care! Never embarrassed, I used to call them mum and dad. They were well into their 70s by the time I left primary. Best parents i could have asked for.

If nature or IVF allows, I say go for it xx

There's a clinical psychologist who has a YouTube channel called Emma Kenny. She had a baby at 50 and is now pregnant with another one at 51 almost 52. They had IVF and tried for years. Also, David Mitchell's wife had two kids when she was the same sort of age. I would get some eggs frozen to be on the safe side and go for it! Good luck 👣

My sister and brother in law had a child at 45. They are now almost 60 with a child with high needs autism. They obviously adore our niece but they are worn and and exhausted. Throw in some age related health issues and they are close to burn out. My niece is very unlikely to be able to live fully independently.

She is the youngest of 8 children (sil and bil.met later in life) who were all late teens/early 20's when they met. I often think they should could be retired and relaxing now.

You will always have success stories of late parenthood but would you truly be able to cope (individually and as a couple) long term if the worst was to happen and you ended up a child with high needs?