Is 46 too old for a baby?

I was also thinking of Emma Kenny and Victoria Coren Mitchell, as well as Tana Ramsay. All late 40s / early 50s.

Go for it, but I’d keep your expectations very realistic about the chances.

@Thebirdsang I had my first at 43 and my second when I was nearly 48. They are both very healthy, highly intelligent, beautiful kids.

I am very much enjoying their company, at now 13 and 17, and we all go to festivals together etc.

I also got married late and we didn't know if we would have kids, but were lucky to have natural conceptions. I did also have 3 miscarriages sadly.

I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been covered over previous posts.

As a 56 year old now and seeing how dhs and my health and energy has changed in the last 10 years (especially for women, menopause is a bitch) I would put the needs of the planned child first and for me it would be a very sad no I wouldn't start trying for a baby at 46.

I do. My DH's mother. She was dead by the time he was 12, and it fucked him up good and proper, because his father was much, much older, needed 24hr care (by him as there was no one else) and died just before he did his GCSEs, leaving him homeless and with no qualifications.

It will be hard to get pregnant but go for it!

This, and it's sad that the wellbeing of the child is always one of the lowest considerations on these threads.

As a child/young adult it ages you before your time. You have to deal with worries that your peers don't have to, caring burdens before your time, and ultimately losing your parents at a relatively young age. It's not easy.

I had my first at 38 and my second at 45. I’m definitely feeling it in my body more second time but I have no regrets. There’s plenty of mums in their mid 40s at the school gates in primary.

I would agree that you should consider the possibility of additional needs. My first has complex SEN but looking at my local SEN network the mums are a wide range of ages and I don’t think you manage much better in your 20s than you do in your late 40s.

Christ, yes. Too old and extremely selfish.

As someone who tried relentlessly between the ages of 34 and 40 (and ruined my marriage in the process), I'd say don't do it. You are too old, it wouldn't be fair on any child and it almost certainly won't work anyway which will absolutely mess with your head. Sorry.

Enjoy your time with your man. He sounds lovely.

Personally I would look at adoption.

Yes you are far too old - where is your concern for the child in this? When they go off to uni you’ll be a pensioner. Risks of disability and miscarriage soar from early 40s- and having a child at any age is exhausting - you cannot conceive of how much the sleep deprivation will wreck you.

And please don’t anyone come on and suggest “donor” eggs - bringing a donor conceived ch Is in to the world has huge societal and ethical implications, as well as being unfair on the young women who are preyed on by fertility clinics (as young as 18!) to “donate” their eggs (for £985, I might add).

If you get pregnant naturally go in to it with your eyes wide open. But in your shoes I’d just enjoy having met a nice partner and focus on your lives as a couple.

Too old. There’s a reason why it’s hard to get pregnant and even harder to carry to full term at that age: your eggs are not in good condition. Any child you do have has a high risk of disability. Please don’t go into this with rose-tinted spectacles. Unless you are prepared to spend the rest of your life caring for a disabled child, please don’t take the risk.

No, of course not if your fit & well. I know many women in their mid 40s who became pregant naturally. You will be in your 60s by the time the child is an adult. That's still relatively young.The only disadvantage I can think of is probably not getting the chance to be a young grandmother. Having grandchildren is absolutely within the realms of possibility though.

Does anyone know of anyone who got pg in their 50s?

Go for it. I have friends who got pregnant at 46 and 47 naturally. My aunt had her last shortly before her 50 th birthday.

Go for it OP. I had my youngest in my early 40’s. Congratulations meeting your soulmate. Good luck.

I think there's often a difference in views between those who have had DC younger and the thought of going back the drudgery, and those of us who only had kids at a later age. For me, I personally coped fine with all the newborn sleeplessness, school runs etc. as an older parent. But now I have teens the thought is unbearable - partly as I older but also because I am "done".

Even though I understand where this comment is coming from, fostering is completely different and can’t be compared to having a baby. They’re 2 completely different decisions to make.

OP if this is what you and your DP really want then go for it asap, being young doesn’t automatically make you a good parent and your children would be lucky to be so loved.

This!

Also had my dd in my 40s, wouldn't change it at all. Everyone I know is just very pleased I've been able to become a mum.

Good luck OP!

That’s a lovely post and really glad this has worked out for you!

Not too old to be a mum! I did it older.

You can get your remaining egg count and hormone levels checked with a blood test and your partner might need to get checked too as with fertility issues too often the focus is on the woman and valuable time gets wasted when the man might have a low sperm count. I certainly don't think you are too old for the parenting part you will just be "older" parents. (A little more tired and old fashioned compared to younger ones maybe but so what!) However you may be too old to actually get pregnant naturally, or stay pregnant. Also bear in mind the higher risks of health problems for child. Women can still get pregnant at 46. I started trying to get pregnant at 45. So I know all about being an older mother and succeeding to be that after a long journey. I had twins at 49 and then another baby aged 52. However I used donor eggs and tried to get pregnant with donor eggs for several years before I succeeded by which time I had spent a lot of money - but it was worth every penny to have this little family.

However there are a few things to think about. I hit menopause when my twins were toddlers which was hard however I went on HRT which helped so much. I am the oldest mother on my kids class but someone has to be (!) and there are lots of older mothers nowadays so I don't stand out too much however I do feel a little lonely sometimes as don't connect so much with the other younger parents. Another thing to think about is how your lovely relationship will change, for nothing in your life will stay the same.

You may still get pregnant naturally at 46 but are statistically unlikely to get pregnant through own eggs IVF. If you go down the route of IVF you would need to use donor eggs. If you are advised otherwise you should be wary about the clinic being above board. If you do make the decision to use donor eggs that might not be straightforward either as it did not work for me for a few years and lots of attempts. Pm me if you want a clinic recommendation

Good luck with your decision! Listen to what you want in your heart.

Too old for me tbh

Maybe a bit too old, but completely up to you!

Would you consider adopting an older child? You’re most certainly not too old to adopt a 5/6 year old.

Personal opinion do you want to be 51 and just starting the actual hell that is school runs?
And in your 60s when you have a teenager, it may be a struggle.

Have you thought about fostering? There's a great need for Foster carers.