Is 46 too old for a baby?

I love this comment and agree wholeheartedly. My DP and I have a 20 year age gap and he was 53 when our DD was born and yes, he is tired and needs a bit more recovery time after chasing around after her (2.5 now!) but he just adores our daughter and she adores him right back!
Good luck OP! Xxx

I’d say yes it’s too old as a first time mum.
im 39 and my eldest is 14, my baby is 6 months and I’m definitely more tired this time around, and notice I’m older than most other mums at baby groups. My partner is your age and it’s his first baby; he’s finding it a lot harder than me (and he has zero caring responsibilities for her, I do
absolutely everything).

Sorry about the miscarriages which can happen at any age. You have a lovely story there which I hope the OP will take comfort from. My auntie was 47 when she had her third child. She went on to happily care for 2 grandchildren to allow her daughter to work part time. There are women in their 60s & 70s who appear like they're in their 80s or 90s. They can also be as fit & active as women in their 40s. You can't put everything down to age when everyone is different.

I will be 46 in a few months and I have a 3 year old. I've found the experience of being an older parent fine and not especially tiring, but I've never had high sleep needs and DH is very hands on. No fertility treatment and an easy pregnancy and elcs.

Personally if it were me I'd maybe ttc and see how it goes without interventions. I decided that we wouldn't try IVF as the chances of success are not very high for over 40s and it felt like a waste of money. To have a realistic chance of success you need to use donor eggs and that's not something I would have considered, because having a genetic link to my dcs is important to me.

I would say give it a try. I don't think it matters too much with age, the only concern would be how healthy the child would be as sadly that decreases the older you are.
I am a young mum, 19 when I had my first. It's tiring at any age. My daughters best friends dad is in his late 60s and retired. He's not massively hands on but who's to say he would have been when he was younger - he does have older children (second family). Some people die young some live to 100 there's no telling on how long you get with parents.
I yearned for children and I know if I had got to my 40s without them I would still give it a shot. All the best.

There is almost no way that Victoria Coren Mitchell didn't use donor eggs. I do wish these older celebrities who miraculously produce babies in their late 40s and 50s would be honest about that. Quite clearly it's no one else's business and there are the children to consider, but it gives the impression that pregnancies at this age are often successful when the opposite is the case. Certainly when I was 34 and started trying I had literally no idea that fertility dropped so much from your mid 30s.

I had my only child at 40 and before that would have said “go for it”. Except DS is profoundly autistic, dyspraxic, ADHD, sensory processing disorder etc. All things that are linked to parental age (not just maternal age). I spent the toddler years sewing DS into onesies overnight to stop him smearing shit everywhere, he's in a specialist school and will probably never live independently. Enjoy your blessed child free life and never look back!

Sadly, yes.
It’s not good to be the oldest parent at the school gates. Menopause issues will kick in. Nearing retirement you’ll still be running around all over the place.
You’ll be an elderly Grandparent.
We all like to think we’ll be fit & active in our 60s & 70s but nothing is guaranteed.

I’m sorry Op but yes for me that would be too old. I’m an early 80’s baby and had the eldest parents in the entire school, they were 33 and 32 at the time. My mum was healthy and happy at that time, loving life, but her health deteriorated very suddenly and unexpectedly in her 40’s and she died at 60. As awful and selfish as it sounds, I wasn’t ready to lose her. It seemed like everyone else had loving grandparents but me, mine were long gone. Spent the majority of my youth visiting care homes and with both parents napping!
Extreme examples perhaps but that’s my experience.

I’m 41 and just had my 4th baby I am coping perfectly well just as I did when I had my first in my late 20s. If you don’t feel too old you’re not too old I’m only 5 years younger than you and it’s never crossed my mind I’m too old. My sister was 44 when she had my niece and she’s doing fine too. You do you and let others do them.

I'd give it a go but set a time limit and decide what you'll do if no baby by then. You're only planning one, it sounds pretty manageable if you're successful.

I’m 46, have one DS20. I wouldn’t try for a second DC now but that’s very different circumstances to yourself. Honestly if I didn’t have DS and felt confident in my health I’d absolutely give it a go and see what happens. Good luck on your journey

There’s no way on earth I’d start trying for a baby at 46. Do you want to be 60 and wrangling a teen?

It’s not a particularly popular opinion but I think having babies late like this is selfish. I know terrible things can happen if you have them younger too, but statistically it’s less likely.

Yes, we very much accepted before we started that children might not happen. We decided not to go for IVF but said we would just see how things happened naturally.

My obs consultant said that she would support me if I wanted to try for a third baby at 48, but we felt we were done at that point!

We do also have friends who chose to adopt as older parents.

I'll be honest - I wouldn't do it personally. My dad had me at 46, we lost him six months ago at 83.

Most parents of people in their mid-late thirties are not even 70 yet. I would have like a few more years with him and for him to have known the grandchildren a bit longer, maybe even helped out with them a bit more, but he wasn't really able.

And then there was the added worry of caring for him while I still had young children of my own. I would have like for my kids to have grown up and left home by the time I had to turn my attentions to caring for an elderly parent.

In contrast, DH's parents are both still only 67, he is 40. They are very involved with the kids and we will hopefully have a good while left with them.

I think that sometimes people don't look long term enough so I just wanted to put that perspective out there.

Hi OP
I don't think 46 is too old, but your fertility may be the stumbling block. Fertility drops steeply - there is only a small chance of natural conception if you try for a year in your late 40s. But all is not lost - there are other ways to parenthood. You might want to consider donor eggs, embryo donation or adoption. I know someone who never met the right man, had a baby with donor eggs in her late 40's and has an adorable toddler. In the last 10 - 20 years the use of donor eggs has really improved the chances of being an older mother - I think Cher had a baby in her 50's - it must have been donor eggs. Children born from donation are generally happy and well adjusted from my research. I know this because my son's girlfriend has a genetic condition she does not wish to pass on and I did some research about it.

The odds are against you so go into it with realistic expectations. I had my last one at almost 42 & her dad was 48. Said kid is at uni and planning to travel the world before embarking on working life. Never been embarrassed by her parents (well no more than any other kid at 13/14. Does fun stuff with us all the time. If you really want a child, take your prenatal vitamins, stop drinking, throw out your contraception and see what happens. Maybe give it a year? I love being a mum but the freedom of being child free is not to be sniffed at. Plus you get to keep all your money. Kids are ruinously expensive!

It is far too old in my opinion. When I am 46 my eldest will be 23 and my youngest will be 19. The thought of parenting starting at 46 actually makes my blood run cold.
Of course you will be fine parenting a gorgeous snuggly baby at 46/47 but then before you know it they are tantruming toddlers, then you get all of the school dramas-worrying if they have friends or catastrophising if they don't get an invite to Billies birthday party.
Once you make it through that they go to high-school, buckle up because that can be one hell of a ride. Then they leave school and start becoming more independent and you think 'hallelujah, the worst is over' but you would be very wrong! Now starts the very late nights, plans you know nothing about with people you have never heard of, you can't show them how stressful you find it as they are naturally spreading their wings.
Would I want to deal with all of that in my 50/60's.....absolutely bloody not! I intend to be on a cruise enjoying life.

I don’t know anyone personally, but there are a few in the public eye who have: Emma Kenny, Victoria Coren Mitchell, Tana Ramsay, Janet Jackson.

OP is not in her 50s, however.

See a trusted medical professional and get an unbiased opinion. Also get a full medical assessment at the same time, if you haven't had one recently.

I'm your age, and physically I think I could do pregnancy and birth absolutely fine, but I'd be far more worried about beyond that. I've got 3 kids (two in thier 20s and one 10 year old), I've also always worked full time, so I know what's involved. The whole pre school upto KS1 stage is gruelling, then you get the lovely golden ages of 5-10 and you'll want to be really involved (not working). Then in their pre-teen & teenage years they'll need you more than you realise, and youll have to be absolutely on it. What I'm saying is, if I had to do it again at this age, I'd not be able to keep up with what's required, and work. It nearly finished me when I was much younger, I'd never be able to do it now. Don't embark on it unless you're able to stop work (or both go part time and share patenting) and have enough pension.

I would let nature tell you. Start considering it and taking folic acid and see what happens. Yes, you will find the early years knackering, but your partner sounds like he will do his part and child rearing will be a shared job. There is a higher risk of the baby having certain conditions but take guidance from your doctor. You should not reject the chance of having a family just because other people tell you you are too old. Having a family should happen when you find yourself in a place where you want a child, which should not be age dependent.

My friend had her first baby at 48 years old, via IVF. I'd say you're not too old but there is a lot more to consider.

Even if you were successful straight away you would have a 3 year old at 50 and be going through the teenage years in your 60s. Also a massively increased chance of some kind of SEN and you’d be at the age of needing care yourself by the time they are 40-ish.

These are just facts. My personal opinion is that I just wouldn’t risk it.

40 here in the final weeks of a second pregnancy and feel I’m too old! So yes I think it is, sorry. I know people have kids older these days and there will be those who had kids in their teens/20s that will say 35 + is too old. But honestly the older you get, the harder it is on your body. I really feel the difference through this 39/40 pregnancy than I did at 36/37.

My parents had me at 46 and 47 and I couldn't have wished for better parents. I was a surprise after 14 years of trying. When I was younger, they seemed terribly old-fashioned compared to my friends' parents, but I don't think that would be as much of an issue these days. The only thing I'd change is that I lost them relatively young - my mum at 33, my dad at 46.