Is 46 too old for a baby?

I do think it’s too old OP.

I think a lot of people will say it’s fine because you want one, but what about the child? You will be the same age as most of their friend’s grandparents. You will be approaching 70 when they’re only just finishing uni and starting out their adult life. The risk of birth defects increases due to your age.

My friend’s parents had her in later life and as a young woman in her 20’s she is already their carer. Many will be along to say there are no guarantees in life/they lost a parent young and they’re right of course, but I do think it would be selfish to have a baby when you’re approaching 50, sorry.

Yes unfortunately you’re to old.

I'm 45 and been with my partner for 15 years. Never wanted kids until this year when I started thinking it might be nice. However, there is no way I am going to do it. I think (personally) it's far too old and I had my chance and never took it, c'est la vie. There are plenty of other things to enjoy about life besides children.

I’d say the vast majority arent needy at all in their early twenties!

I had my first at 46 and I found it a very good age. I would say go for it. I know what sacrifices are required and I have the maturity and stability to give my child the best of me, which wouln't have been the case when I was younger and more interested in career or sociallife. Regarding the interaction with the other school mums, I think because you are living the same experiences as they are albeit as an older mum, you also have a lot of common ground and it keeps you young. I have not felt different or left out at all.

Yes it does. Quite a few posters have spoken of their experiences as the child in this situation, and almost all are cautioning against it for good reason.

It's very easy for people who had younger, healthy parents to tell us we're terribly judgemental and advise the OP to 'just go for it', but if they haven't experienced what we did, they really have no clue.

I agree with this, and it's something I hadn't thought of when having a child, how much your mindset shifts to what THEY need, what THEY want, I now want to be healthy and strong for them, I want to make sure I'm there for them, I want to see them hopefully married and with their children. Before having a child it was all about us wanting a child for us, then they come along and make you realise you want to see them through as far as you can. My dad lost his much older parwnts when he was 33 and 35 and he still misses them and gets very sad sometimes, as a 70 year old. He's had half his life without his parents and never got to share so many things with them.

She said in her post that he is a couple of years younger.

How old is your partner? Being the only child of elderly parents is not something i would want.

What is reasonable age, FortyElephants? If OP can have a baby, and wants to have a baby, even if that choice is not one that you would make, does that make her unreasonable? I don't think so. It's a shame if you do, but it doesn't really matter.

Do the maths....when child is 25 they will only be very early 70s. That's not that old! Look at all the actresses in their 70s. Not exactly in their dotage

I think it's too old to be having a child. Why not foster or adopt an older DC who needs a good home?

As the child of older parents, it’d be a definite no from me.
If you do pursue this, make sure you have top notch life insurance and critical illness cover. My parents at least didn’t leave me orphaned and poor…

I had a baby in my 40s and think that if I had not had another older child, it would have been relatively easy. With just one child, you can nap when they nap etc and this really helps!

If they come naturally then go for it. If it involves IVF, surrogates, donor eggs etc then no.

Only you can decide OP. Personally, I’m the same age and I think it’s too old to start now. I’ve a 7 year old.

Up to you. Be aware of all the risks and be prepared to put money and time to a child with some kind of disability or special needs. You cannot test for everything and risks are higher with age. But a child (with or without SEN) could be what you both want.

This only a question for you and your DP @Thebirdsang

Start trying straight away in the knowledge of all the risks.

I say go for it. I'm a couple of years younger than you, and if I was in a serious, stable relationship, I'd definitely have another (I had my son when I was 40).

Go for it!

School runs in your 60s no thanks.
Parenting till almost 70s no thanks.
Childfree no dramas and go on any holiday and be selfish yes please.

Given the OP is in a newish relationship it might not be easy for them to foster.

I think this too.

And I would love to discuss the issue with your DD when she is in her 20s. Hopefully she won't have ended up a young carer like me, or have unresolved issues from losing her dad as a teenager like I have, and her mum won't have lost her mind dealing with the trauma like mine did, but honestly this attitude drives me insane. Yes, its all cuddles with daddy and giggles now but when she's 21 and doing her degree finals or trying to get a decent career started while caring for dad with dementia (or whatever) let's see how funny it all is. Much older parents, especially men in their 50s and beyond, are selfish, selfish people, and the women that have babies with them are just plain silly and I speak with some authority here!

I had my 1st and only child at 48 (18 years ago) in the normal 'unassisted' way - and it's been fantastic though probably more than normally exhausting. I was rich enough to be a full-time parent (by now I'm past retirement age anyway) but not to afford extras such as nannies, private education etc, even if I'd felt so inclined.
My own mum was far too elderly to assist at all, in fact needed support herself though luckily I have active siblings. She died when my kid was 12.
Plus, partner/dad is disabled, so I was on the job 24/7 in every way for as long as it took, still am in some ways, but I now count it as one of, if not The, major strokes of luck of my life.
Conceiving took 3 years of regular unprotected sex & two miscarriages, after second of which the doctor informed me that, while I was 46 already, 'your ovaries are in perfect condition'.
Which I took to mean, no reason why this shouldn't work despite your age.
But truth was in menstrual terms I was already perimenopausal, so I didn't expect it, and I was I believed ok with that.
And when it happened, I was honestly petrified.
But it has been brilliant. Kid is fine. Me and dad are fine too.
However - over the years kid has frequently lamented being an Only, and that I am virtually geriatric now (dad is a bit younger).
He swears that though he definitely wants kids himself, no way will he leave it so late. He does not say, but he fears being 'left on his own' or with caring obligations, while still young.
So don't be under any illusions that there are no downsides. I was always by far the oldest mum in the playground/playgroup (frequently mistaken for gran) and that is isolating, even before your kid notices.
But I was very fit too, having been a dance fanatic, which is what I credit partly with being able to conceive unassisted at nearly 48.
It's really only nowadays that my bones are feeling their age!
So you know - there are always downsides. And you can balance them by being the most patient, most engaged, most un-neurotic parent possible, for which the greater perspective of age/experience/confidence can help. You're less susceptible to fashionable parenting BS, to put it bluntly.
So on balance - absolutely!
I wouldn't go through fertility treatments at this age though. Easy for me to say now, I suppose, but I was always clear I was never doing that.