Is 46 too old for a baby?

Could you enjoy a few years together as a couple and then perhaps consider adopting an older child/children in need of a family?

You won't regret the babies you had but you'll always regret the ones you didn't have. This is your life.

Gosh I feel sorry for the OP. Regardless of rights and wrongs or opinions, the chances of her getting pregnant, even with IVF, are close to zero. Regular menstruation doesn’t mean that the eggs produced are capable of being fertilised and then dividing correctly to form a new human life. Most stories you hear about older mothers use frozen embryos from a decade earlier or a donated egg, but even then the chances are very slim.

I had a friend at uni with older parents. She hated it. All through junior school her peers referred to her parents as her grandparents. At senior school things were better because there's no school run but she never had sleepovers, or invited friends over to hang out as she was embarrassed by how old they were (in outlook not just age). Her parents were lovely but had more in common with my grandparents than my parents. I lost my Mum when I was 53 (unexpected to cancer), she lost hers at 35 and her dad just 2 years later. Her children barely knew their grandparents. I'd say you do need to consider how a child might feel about having much older parents than their friends and what it means for them as they mature.

Go for it. I'm so happy for you!

I had my first child before I was 20. Yes, I definitely had lots of energy and the sleepless nights were easier. My youngest was born just before my 40th and though it is more tiring, I'm honestly a much better parent. I've learned so much, I'm financially stable and she really does get the best version of me. The main thing you need is a supportive partner. You should discuss expectations. Nothing worse than being part of a couple and feeling like a single parent. I say, go for it and good luck!

Apologies if my math is wrong but yes 70s is still really old. I just think it's really wrong to have a child at that age, I had my youngest when I was 39 and honestly I think that was pushing it.

Definitely too old for me.

I had a friend who got pregnant naturally at 46, her first. She had a horrendous pregnancy, hyperemisis gravidarium, got pre eclampsia and had to be rushed in for emergency Caesarian at 36 weeks, was in a coma for several days and was lucky to survive. She then got diagnosed with cancer in her early 50s and died. So very sad. OP you have met your soulmate that you never thought you would, why not quit while you’re ahead?

It's a bit selfish and so unfair on the child. They'll most probably be an only child and you'll be hitting 68 or older when they are only 20. Don't do it for their sake.

I was 41 when I had mine and there was just me and no wider fam either! Very doable if you want to. I didn’t mind not socialising so much as I’d had years of that. Career in a good place, so less worries about mat leave. I’ve no less energy than other mums as far as I know and there’s nothing against it in my mind. Congrats and lots of luck xx

I had my child at 43 and I'm not going to lie it's exhausting and was a shock to the system. .up until then I worked a good job, had money, had a social life. I thought I could retain all this but I realised I couldn't and I gave it all up. I'm now 50 work part time and am even more exhausted and financially manage but far from what I was. I wouldn't change anything for the world but I would hate to sit here and tell you it's all roses as it certainly isnt! And yes there is higher risk at an older age but you do get well monitored as a geriatric mother! I hate that term but that's what it's termed. I had problems and my child was 5 weeks early, but that's just me and nothing to say it can't all go to plan. Consider what's really important to you.

I think yes it’s too old. Have you considered the odds of a disabled child at 46? Your eggs are old, and reserves are low. It’s hard, but I’d say that unfortunately that ship has sailed.

I had my son when I was 34, my mum had me when she was 37. I’m now 41 and lost my mum last December; she was 78.

In my opinion 46 is too old. You’re risking your own health, the health of a potential child, and also increasing the risk of leaving them without parents at a younger age than most would wish.

Maybe look at fostering.

I mean, having two parents in their 50s when you're born isn't a reasonable thing to do to a child. Having one in their 30s means the child has a fighting chance of having a parent alive when they turn 25, which I don't think is too much to bestow on a child really, do you?

It depends on your health, level of energy and how much ready you are to look and feel young. A mum in our school had her first daughter at 45, husband was 47, second marriage, she is super fit, keeps herself perfect, Botox and all, husband is a yoga teacher. They still go clubbing without the kid who is now 10. If she had not told us she was that age I would never have guessed. I am sure her daughter does not even notice too. She is a super goop mum. In the PTA, although working full time, always organising play dates, activities, they travel 2-3 times a year… honestly she has more energy than me and I am 10 years younger!

Years ago I would have said you need to do what’s right for you but now I think you need to put the potential child first. My husband is older than me and had a family before we met so we left it a while to have children. I was 39 when I had my youngest and it really plays on my mind how much less time my children will have with me than if I had been 10
years younger. He’s almost 10 years older than me- a similar age to what you might be when you have a child- and I really feel they will miss out on so much time with him. He’s young for his age and fit bit you can out run age

To those saying the OP is too old (and selfish to consider it) - what is the cut off age?

What is the oldest acceptable age to have a child - asking those who are confidently saying that 46 is definitely too old?

Extra points if you can answer with the upper age limit for women, and also for men.

Go for it OP and the very best of luck 🤞 🙏

I had my first at 41, second at 43. I love having teens in my early 60s, it’s great.
My friend had her first and only at 46, and another friend was born when her Mum was 46 or 47. A very unexpected baby as her brother was 21.

Even if you got pregnant super quickly you would probably be nearing 48 by the time baby is born which yes does feel quite old. I mean you can try. If you don't you definitely won't have a baby but it you do then you might :-) good luck!

Me personally - yes I think it's too old. However my view is coloured by losing my Mum.

Her death knocked me for six, and it wasn't unexpected as she'd been ill for a long time. I am in my 40s and two years later I'm still struggling with the loss. I can't begin to imagine how I would have coped if I'd gone through this when I was in my early 20s - her illness, caring for her, and then trying to cope with her death.

No I wouldn’t, and I say that as an older mother myself.

It will seem fine now as you’re relatively young, but do you really want to be in your 60s dealing with a teenager for example. Whatever fantastic energy level you have now will vastly reduce as you hit your 50s.

I believe there’s a much greater chance of it being ND with older parents (which of course you can’t detect at the pregnancy stage). A Scandinavian country (Sweden?) don’t allow sperm donation over 38 because of these types of issues.

The body clock is there for very good reason, which a lot of women don’t like to accept, until they have actually reached it and have experienced it for themselves.

Absolutely too old. Forget about it.

there is a lot more to consider

Personally I think there is only one thing to consider - the potential innocent human that will be brought into this world