Is 46 too old for a baby?

Personally i feel its too old and i wouldnt do it but if you do feel its right for you, go for it. My mum had my younger sister at 46. Just be prepared for being tired/menopause hitting etc. mums are all ages down at the school gates. I would say that my mum died when my younger sister was 22. Something else to think about

I live in a part of the South East where I think the average age of the reception mums was around 38/40 with many nearing late 40s.

Tbh I think they seemed more young at heart and energetic and involved than some of the younger mums I met through NCT.

Would you consider adopting a slightly older than baby stage child?

Only you can decide OP but my experience was:
I got pregnant with my second at age 42 with no difficulty then had a miscarriage.
We tried again and I got pregnant pretty quickly, but at age 43 had undiagnosed pre-eclampsia and intrauterine growth retardation resulting in an emergency C-section at 32 weeks, a very low weight baby (1.2kg/2lbs) followed by NG feeding in an incubator for some months. Then, years of developmental delay (in every area of development from feeding to toileting to reading to emotional regulation), dyspraxia and ADHD. Not so profound that he could get an Education Health and Care Plan so very limited support.
That said, he is a delight, now at nearly 15 taller than I am. Despite having to go into what should have been the year above at school (but for his early birth date), he is doing ok and has plenty of friends. Funnily enough, he has found a mixed tribe: some born prem; some with ADHD, some with ASD. I would not change any of it and adore him but we were pretty lucky: some prem babies end up with severe learning difficulties and while such children are loved and live worthwhile lives, the impact on parents can be huge. So, my advice if you decide to try would be plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Oh, and very importantly, I have a high pressure, stressful job. I went about doing it and felt absolutely fine, but my 40 something body knew otherwise and my baby nearly died. Take nothing for granted and plan, plan, plan. The harsh reality is that a 40 something body is not the same as a younger one and more can go wrong. If I had my time again I would have been easier on myself and by implication, my precious cargo. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

I find this response so odd. DH is 54. DS is 9. DH plays football with (football-mad) DS pretty much every day. DH runs marathons/ ultras and is pretty fit. Fitter than a lot of 20/30 year old men! But 31 really isn't old at all. I was still gallivanting around the world at that age (before having kids in my very late 30s).

While I certainly couldn't have more children now (at 49), that's partly because I already have children who have and continue to sap most of my energy, much as I adore them. If I'd spent the first 40-odd years of my life footloose and fancy free I could totally imagine having the energy to raise a child.

I was 40, OH was 50. It’s tiring but the best thing we ever did. My mum died at 59 but grandparents lived till near 100. Who knows when you’ll go so don’t let that influence you! See what happens. A happy and involved parent is better than a young one with energy but no interest! You will make fabulous parents if this is what you want and they are loved.

For me, it would be. For you? Depends.

How old is your DP?
Are you both in good health?

Go for it!

I was 37 when my first was born and 41 with my second. Had the tests and turns out my risk for complications was the same as someone aged 22 so you just never know!

I have lots of friends who had babies at 45/46. One had her first at 45 having also met her soul mate late in life. She's soon-to-be 60 and one of the most upbeat and energetic people I know. I think having her DC actually kept her young or maybe she's young-at-heart.

So long as your new Mr Right absolutely IS Mr Right, then there's no harm in trying. Be sure about him. Then buy a clearblue fertility monitor.

OP I’m 54 and my youngest is 21. The thought of having a 7/8 year old now is too much. I’m just home from working with primary age chn and I’m shattered! You need to factor in the greater risk of SEND too.

PS he was conceived naturally.

Yes

These threads always go the same way, including the repeated assertion that people in their 40s, 50s, 60s would not be able to "cope" with a child. OMG you'll be so tired, you won't manage a newborn, etc etc. No, that may be you, it's not everyone.

My DS was born a couple of months shy of my 46th birthday. He is now 16 and I am 61. We're just fine. "Coping with a teen" isn't rocket science (or the Olympics). I'm not worn out yet despite what some may consider my very advanced age!

If you get pregnant, you get pregnant.

The stats are based on a mixture of women who cannot get pregnant naturally in their mid 40s and those who are still fertile.

I got pregnant first month of trying when I was 43.

I can’t see any problem with a woman of child bearing age bearing a child, once she is fully grown and mature, and had a stable enough life to support a child.

Your relationship is the key thing. You say you have homes: have you not lived together. How long have you been together? Do you want a baby come what may, even if it means bring a single parent?

Because babies do not bring couples together, they chuck a bomb into your life and your dynamic with each other.

Wishing you all good things, whatever happens.

I had an unplanned natural conception at 45. The pregnancy didn't work out but not due to my age (very rare complication unrelated to genetics/parental age or any other known risk factor, just random bad luck). So it's possible that you could conceive.

But is it what you really want? My concerns during my pregnancy were both short term (e.g. sleepless nights; pressure on our relationship) and long term (financial - having potentially big costs such as uni at the same time as planning retirement; our health - what if one or both of us became ill or worse; our parents health - they are becoming increasingly dependent on us). Ultimately as soon as I knew the baby existed I would have done anything for them, and it was incredibly sad to lose them. But that doesn't mean I would now actively try for another.

If you are in a new relationship you're maybe still in the honeymoon phase. A baby can put huge pressure on relationships. Would you be prepared to go it alone if yours didn't survive the arrival of a baby?

I fell pregnant age 45 and my reaction was the polar opposite to what I always imagined it would be. Granted, it was unplanned, but I just felt too old - not at 45, but at looking ahead over the next 20 years or so. As it happened, I miscarried, and felt relieved with that outcome to be honest.

My school friend of almost 40 years had her first baby when she was 45, her partner was 50, child is now 6. Seems OK but I think he's quite full on, but my friend is also very energetic for her age (she's 51 now!). They do have a large network of family/friends though. Myself I wouldnt like at 6 year old at our age, but then again my son is 18 and buying the beers ;) .

My cousin had a second chIld when she was 43. Her daughter is 15 now and her husband is now over 60. Seems to have worked out for them too tbf.

Why not try? The chances are less than if you were in your 20s/30s....but it can happen.
Good luck x

People will always have opinions. If you are able to, feel like you can do it and you want to. Go for it!

Well, I'd want all the genetic testing in the world possible. I had amniocentesis with both mine and I was in my thirties. I know personally I could not have coped with a Down Syndrome child. I know there are wonderful people who can but I never thought I was one of those. Even all the testing in the world won't guarantee a healthy "normal" baby though - could you cope with a child with ADHD or autism for instance? It's also a tremendous strain on your body. But almost worse than that is the night feeds - I have never been so tired in all my life and I had easy babies who were sleeping through in a decent stretch by about 6-8 weeks and hardly cried. I also had a lot of help with the first one from my mother which I presume you're unlikely to have. And do you really really want to be 61 or so wondering where your 15 year old is because it's 3 am in the morning? I guess if you could live with all those things you should go ahead. But, honestly, you sound happy the way you are and do you really want to spend those years knee deep in nappies and pureed baby food? Wouldn't eating out, taking trips, pursuing a common interest etc be more fun?

If you want a baby at 46 - then do it. Go get a physical and some bloods done to check your health and take it from there.

OP it concerns me that you say it’s mostly your partner who has been talking about babies. Are you afraid he might leave you if you don’t try for a baby with him?

No you are not too old!!! My DH was 45 with our last, why the double standards? Try and try now, if it happens great, if not then you have your soulmate!

People always have opinions . So many different ones here .Wishing you much love & luck whatever you decide x

Does your partner already have kids? Sorry if I missed this.

Im not know for optimism, but .... just do not underestimate the immense pressure ttc/ivf/a newborn puts on a relationship.
You might regret even starting one of those things if you are anything like me - hormones seriously throw me out of balance.
Add to that zooming straight into meno following any possible good or bad news .... its a lot for you and your soul mate.
Im going to say just enjoy him. But that's very easy to say. X

Why shouldn’t you have a chance at happiness with a child and your soulmate?

Oh you’ll get the comments about tiredness, fairness on child having an older mother etc. However, you’re in the perfect position to raise a child. When we have children we never know just how long we’ll be around for them, nobody has a crystal ball.

When you bring a child into the world your life changes. You’ll have the energy you never thought you would have, you’ll also be knackered but my goodness it’s so worth it!

My advice is to ignore all the negativity that may come your way … if/when you get to hold your baby in your arms … well, there isn’t another feeling like it😍
Wishing you the best in your decision making process