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Original poster

Have you regretted ending your marriage?

30 replies

ilikestrawberry · 02/06/2025 10:41

If you’ve left your husband have you regretted it? I am happily married but often consider leaving, my husband doesn’t like pets and me and the children would love a pet and lots of petty reasons really that make me think how lovely it must be to just be able to do as you please without having to be in agreement with anyone else, I like to say yes to the children more than him, he often says no to things I wouldn’t.
I know none of this sounds like divorce material but I keep imagining how much I’d love a life with nobody to consult with over anything.
I don’t know if I’d regret it or if it’s just fantasy but we’ve been married 15 years and he’s a great man but I just feel held back by him and want to spoil the children and do as I please.
Anyone ever feel this way? Or left and then regretted it? I’m nearly 50 and know I’d be on my own a long time but does that freedom out way the companionship?

OP posts:
MilesOfMotivation · 02/06/2025 11:08

Never regretted it. I mean, actually maybe that's not entirely true. I am remarried and have a blended family and sometimes I do look back and think I had it so easy and I long for that nuclear life again. But I don't regret ending my marriage to him. He was fine. But that was it. Fine.

Lilifer · 02/06/2025 11:03

I regret it. Life with him was hard, for the first few years after we separated I felt elated, but now as time has gone on and I have developed a deeper perspective I do have regrets, and it’s hard being on your own even if you co-parent well, it’s very hard.

Original poster
ilikestrawberry · 02/06/2025 10:59

Loubylie · 02/06/2025 10:47

I've never regretted it.
I love being independent, but my ex was not an easy man to live with.

See he is easy to live with but he’s perhaps not as laid back as me and as I’ve got older I’ve become more relaxed and he seems to have become practical and sensible up to me.
We do have very separate lives and spend a lot of time with our own friends, doing our own thing.
I am probably more extravagant and like to spend more on Christmas and days out and give the children memories but he would often say no It’s too much. I think this frustrates me as we both earn it but always argue about how we spend it.

OP posts:
WestwardHo1 · 02/06/2025 10:55

I think those are valid reasons for wanting to go it alone and no one should ideally be in a relationship they don't want to be in.

However you need to be really aware of how difficult it is. You will be responsible for everything. Running a house costs far more as an individual earner than it does for paying for half as a couple. Since dh and I split up I have not had a proper holiday. I've had to cut back on everything. The house and bills are just eating my money. You think you'd be free to spoil the children but I'm assuming at 50 that they're not very little any more, and there could well be a lot of resentment from them if they view you as just discarding a perfectly ok marriage. Feeling free and independent is great but it does mean the buck absolutely stops with you and there's no one to lean on in times of bereavement, illness, work stress, anything. It's all on you.

Loubylie · 02/06/2025 10:47

I've never regretted it.
I love being independent, but my ex was not an easy man to live with.