AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

@Fantailsflitting is spot on

He deserved it.
The group will be happier without him.
Mumsnet is plagued by teenagers who think it is fun to write rubbish.

I might have posted a comment along the lines of wouldnt it be great if everyone was kind and didnt repeatedly make unfunny remarks - but only to women."

Even after two years of politely trying to put him right and being ignored?

OP certainly knew about his misogyny, because she was aware she was being challenged and called lazy where men like her husband were not. She has told him she works, and he chooses to ignore that.

In any event, on what basis can it possibly be OK to keep saying someone is lazy without any foundation? And how can that be the target's fault?

He sounds utterly appalling.

I am looking forward to hearing if he has turned up today. From what you have said, others in the group think he is a prat, including your husband.

Feel sorry for his wife, I do. How awful to have a husband who makes inappropriate, embarrassing remarks to acquaintances.

Ignore the man from now on, freeze him out and put it behind you.

I think I'd have had to say "well well well if it isnt the consequences of your own actions"

The way you dismiss a woman’s anger at being called lazy for two years as ‘menopausal rage’ tells us everything we need to know about you.

Are you a man?

They are being crass, it’s because they don’t have anything else to say. It doesn’t matter what your job is or how hard you work it’s just their feeble attempt at making conversation.They are too thick (or don’t care) whether they are offending anyone.
I’ve know someone for years who always asks me where my suntan is when I come home from holiday,(I’m very pale skinned) I’ve learned to bat it back with “oh I knew there was something I needed to pack in my suitcase”. I get so sick of it! it’s their attempt to make the conversation all about them.
The same person asked me if my brother was “well cooked with bacon and sausages” when he was recently cremated!

But she isn’t at home. FFS, can you not read? She’s at her very stressful and worthwhile job in PALLIATIVE CARE. Are you part of the #bekind brigade @Livelovebehappy? Annoying Fucker was hardly being kind was he?

If you ever see him again and he says anything, just reply "I won't comment on that in case you go crying to your wife again".

You aren't being unreasonable to shut down his passive aggressive nastiness.
You are being unreasonable if you were aggressive about it in response. Being annoyed (rightly, imo) doesn't justify a "both barrels" reply.

This.

Just waiting patiently for the obligatory dog pic now that OP has sorted Mr Snark.

People like this that just jump in and haven’t an inkling of what ‘a going on in people’s lives. And the broken record thing - what a bore. He deserved both those barrels ! Sexist pig can bore off. You do a job that really matters at a time when people need support the most.

But if you follow that argument through logically and I don’t agree with the premise tbh but for the sake of argument ; yet again it’s women who have to make efforts to fit in with how men communicate and adapt and not vice versa?

Men aren’t even able to meet women half way?

Women are responsible for facilitating his inability to listen?

Op is at fault for not communicating in a style that this know-it-all can understand?

If he is genuinely bewildered then it’s because he hasn’t been listening for two years and that’s probably because he has already made sexist assumptions and knows in his own misogynistic tiny mind that he is right. And that comes from a base prejudice that women aren’t worth listening to in the first place!

I agree OP. He deserves to be told to shut it but clearly thought it was fine (it wasn’t) for two years. Letting him have it ‘with both barrels’ wasn’t necessary but clearly a culmination of two years worth of crappy comments.

He probably thought it was fine as it had been going on two years and you never said anything. It’s a good example of address things when they happen and not put up with them for two years and then let rip.

No

but I can’t imagine having a racist misogynist bully within my walking group for years and he’s been allowed to continue unfettered without anyone saying anything

He totally deserved your wrath, @Guttyyyyyyyyy. You put up with his constant idiotic and provocative comments for two years. You must have the patience of a saint, hun - and what an amazing job you do. I am in awe. x

Oh so now his awful behaviour is everyone else’s fault? … 🤔

I can just imagine the entitled sort of knob who thinks his bants are hilarious and has no self awareness that not only is he tedious, repetitive and a complete dick, but that it's absolutely not acceptable to be a racist, misogynistic pick. Honestly angry for you. Well done.

Hopefully he'll stay at home with his poor bruised ego.

Sounds like he's thrown his toys out of the pram for being called out on his behaviour!
Plus side if he's left the WhatsApp group and is having a proper foot stomp about it then you won't have to see him as he probably won't come.

I'm baffled by some of the comments on here your not responsible for someone else's behaviour and everyone has a point they reach before they can't ignore shitty behaviour any longer.

no doubt there are other women enduring this nonsense from him within the group…
And others must have heard over the years..
and yet he has been allowed to continue walking with the group. and no one appears to have a said a bloomin word to him. A racist misogynistic bully, who’s been allowed to carry on unfettered for years. Weird

He was directing his racist remarks at one woman who then left the walking group and who has only just told OP about what he was saying to her. She obviously contacted OP in solidarity having experienced similar (and even worse) remarks from this man.

This. It reeks of entitlement and the refusal to see women as equals.