Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

637 replies

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 07:57

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

OP posts:
pecanpiee · 02/06/2025 08:52

Oh so he went home and cried to his wife like a baby, and then she became his mummy and messaged you? Don’t worry about it, you got upset all those previous times too.

2chocolateoranges · 02/06/2025 08:48

Good for you sticking up for yourself comments like that get tiresome.

I had a friend who used to always comment on my long lies and lazy days when I was a SAHM. She's no longer a friend.

OvernightBloats · 02/06/2025 08:48

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:37

I have replied to his wife that it was a proportional response to 2 plus years of him intimating that I was lazy when in fact I was working and that if he cant handle it maybe he should refrain from making unsolicited comments.

Excellent reply. Bet he won't be making any more comments to you in future! Hopefully it will make him think twice about doing it to other women as well.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 02/06/2025 08:45

Dickhead gets told he's a dickhead and starts crying. And then his wife has to stand up for him. 🙄

However next time this sort of thing happens, I would just nip it in the bud from the off.

Cadenza12 · 02/06/2025 08:45

Totally get what's happened. I think that basically this guy has no imagination and little conversation. He doesn't know what to say so just regurgitates the same, to his ears, funny remark. Hopefully you won't be engaging for a while at least.

Greenartywitch · 02/06/2025 08:45

Good for you.

Can't believe his wife felt the need to message he was upset. It makes him sound like a cry baby who needs to defended by his wife.

People like him need to be told that this type of 'banter' is boring and out of order.

I bet he does not make the same type of comments to men.

LittleBitofBread · 02/06/2025 08:43

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:17

A friend has just replied to her on the chat - basically saying her DH only says shit like this to women, never to him or his husband who also alternate on the dog walks. 🐕.

i was about to say does he make the same ‘joke’ to your DH. No of course he doesn’t. He’s a sexist pig. And when he gets a taste of his own medicine he has to get his wife to stick up for him.
They can both get to fuck. I’d ignore her message to you.

AliBaliBee1234 · 02/06/2025 08:42

mondaytosunday · 02/06/2025 08:40

Ugh some men. My friend’s husband, who WFH and who’s wife waits on him hand and foot, always comes in if I am over for lunch (or whatever) and says ‘hard day, dear?’ with a smirk. Yes it probably has been you dork. She’s up early to walk the dog, cook you breakfast, probably put a load of laundry on before you even got out of bed. Once you are in your ‘office’, there’s a regular expectation of coffee and a cooked lunch while she also does the housework, does the shopping, checks in with a couple elderly neighbours, does more laundry (he and his son sail it seems never ending). Usual stuff it takes to run a house. Never any ‘thank you’. Just a few remarks about how easy and relaxed her day is. I don’t think he’s ever made a bed or picked up his socks in his life (they married at 21). What’s worse is he’s saying it because I’m there to hear it.

I work with a woman who is waited on hand & foot by her husband but doesn't appreciate it. Ugh some people.

Newgirls · 02/06/2025 08:42

he’s a twat and she’s an idiot for drawing even more attention to it

yes you could have been calmer but wouldn’t worry about it now

AliBaliBee1234 · 02/06/2025 08:41

absolutely deserved it. Tell his wife he upset you ...

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:41

I have never laughed or gone along with it. I ignored or stated that I was at work.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 02/06/2025 08:40

Ugh some men. My friend’s husband, who WFH and who’s wife waits on him hand and foot, always comes in if I am over for lunch (or whatever) and says ‘hard day, dear?’ with a smirk. Yes it probably has been you dork. She’s up early to walk the dog, cook you breakfast, probably put a load of laundry on before you even got out of bed. Once you are in your ‘office’, there’s a regular expectation of coffee and a cooked lunch while she also does the housework, does the shopping, checks in with a couple elderly neighbours, does more laundry (he and his son sail it seems never ending). Usual stuff it takes to run a house. Never any ‘thank you’. Just a few remarks about how easy and relaxed her day is. I don’t think he’s ever made a bed or picked up his socks in his life (they married at 21). What’s worse is he’s saying it because I’m there to hear it.

CherryBlossom321 · 02/06/2025 08:40

Text her back, “Good 🙂”.

TheOriginalEmu · 02/06/2025 08:39

I really don’t understand situations like this. You’ve laughed it off this long then exploded in irritation. From your perspective this has been a long time coming, but from his you’ve been fine and laughing all along and have suddenly turned on him. All of this could have been avoided if you just politely said ‘XX I appreciate you’re only joking, but I am actually at work doing s stressful sometimes upsetting job, I am not having a lie, I’m working. Now let’s please leave it there?’, two years ago!

maybe it’s a ND thing, but people just don’t say what they mean and that’s very confusing to me.

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:38

LittleMonks11 · 02/06/2025 08:37

Good for you. I wouldn’t have lasted two years to be honest. And thank you for the work you do. His missus needs to open her eyes to what a boring, unfunny misogynist she’s shackled to.

Your friend sounds great 💪

He is , known him for donkeys years, top bloke.

OP posts:
Depte · 02/06/2025 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:37

I have replied to his wife that it was a proportional response to 2 plus years of him intimating that I was lazy when in fact I was working and that if he cant handle it maybe he should refrain from making unsolicited comments.

OP posts:
LittleMonks11 · 02/06/2025 08:37

Good for you. I wouldn’t have lasted two years to be honest. And thank you for the work you do. His missus needs to open her eyes to what a boring, unfunny misogynist she’s shackled to.

Your friend sounds great 💪

TheLongRider · 02/06/2025 08:36

I'd love to know what kind of sob story he told his wife. The poor mite, he needs his wife to stick up for him on the WhatsApp group. I'm glad someone else has called him out on the group.

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Are you on glue?

OP posts:
Alucard55 · 02/06/2025 08:33

Good for you he deserved that.

Depte · 02/06/2025 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Depte · 02/06/2025 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Screamingabdabz · 02/06/2025 08:32

Sounds like you’ve done the world a favour op. I wish more people would put boorish men in their place. Please don’t back down or apologise. I’d be telling him and his #bekind human shield wife to reflect on their behaviour and try to do better.

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:32

ConnieHeart · 02/06/2025 08:31

Yanbu. I bet he doesn't make comments to your husband about him having a lie in on his days off, does he?

Exactly!

OP posts: