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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

637 replies

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 07:57

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 02/06/2025 09:19

Iheartlibrarians · 02/06/2025 09:07

I mean, the irony of him accusing you of sending your husband out to walk the dog for you- and then needing his wife to fight his battles for him- is honestly pretty perfect.

Don't give it another thought, OP, you made your point well to both, and have had support from a third party so that it can't become a story of how unreasonable you were.

Chin up, move on, they'll get over it in time and it frankly doesn't matter much if they don't.

I don’t necessarily think he’s sent her to fight battles, he’s probably vented to her and she took it upon herself to get involved.

I do however think OP was right to tell him to wind his neck in, there’s only so much belittling someone can take before they snap. I applaud a two year restraint, I would have flipped the lid a lot earlier.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 02/06/2025 09:18

Good on ya! He sounds like a patronising bore.

MissDoubleU · 02/06/2025 09:18

WtafIsThat · 02/06/2025 09:14

This is why I hate ‘#be kind’. Fuck off.

It’s always the worst people in the world who say it, too.

AudHvamm · 02/06/2025 09:17

TheOriginalEmu · 02/06/2025 08:39

I really don’t understand situations like this. You’ve laughed it off this long then exploded in irritation. From your perspective this has been a long time coming, but from his you’ve been fine and laughing all along and have suddenly turned on him. All of this could have been avoided if you just politely said ‘XX I appreciate you’re only joking, but I am actually at work doing s stressful sometimes upsetting job, I am not having a lie, I’m working. Now let’s please leave it there?’, two years ago!

maybe it’s a ND thing, but people just don’t say what they mean and that’s very confusing to me.

Doubt the interactions have been 'all fine'. It's pretty obvious to me when people are brushing something off & they're not comfortable. Equally could have been avoided if jokey man had not misread reactions and social cues for 2 years.

TY78910 · 02/06/2025 09:17

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:17

A friend has just replied to her on the chat - basically saying her DH only says shit like this to women, never to him or his husband who also alternate on the dog walks. 🐕.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

CoubousAndTourmalet · 02/06/2025 09:17

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 09:09

They sometimes walk together but she is very nervous about walking their dog by herself.

Show quote history

There's your answer. Gets right up his nose that other women walk the dog, so he has to demean/belittle them, passing it off as friendly banter. Which it isn't.

Nobody would believe the amount of disgusting sexism that women with large breed dogs put up with on a daily basis from inadequate men. I used to grin and bear it but now I'm old I tell it like it is.

Glad you put him in his place 😄

BellaVita · 02/06/2025 09:16

He is a twat and the wife is even more of a twat for messaging you.

WtafIsThat · 02/06/2025 09:14

This is why I hate ‘#be kind’. Fuck off.

Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 09:12

TheMimsy · 02/06/2025 09:07

What a bell end. I love how he’s run home to tell on you to mummy. @Guttyyyyyyyyy was mean to me wahhhhh.

she must know what he’s like?!

She thinks the sun shines out of his arse. 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 09:09

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 02/06/2025 09:07

Good for you OP. Standing up to that prick for his comments after 2 years of putting up with that crap.

is His wife the one sending the husband to walk the dog ?

They sometimes walk together but she is very nervous about walking their dog by herself.

OP posts:
TheMimsy · 02/06/2025 09:07

What a bell end. I love how he’s run home to tell on you to mummy. @Guttyyyyyyyyy was mean to me wahhhhh.

she must know what he’s like?!

LittleMonks11 · 02/06/2025 09:07

Boreded · 02/06/2025 08:59

Seems excessive, but I wasn’t in the situation. I feel for some men because I genuinely think some of them have no idea how to speak to women, but that all are tarnished because of those that are total asshats.

If I was in the situation myself, I would probably apologise to him next time I saw him, but explain why you reacted the way you did. If he apologises sincerely then all is well and he didn’t mean any harm, but if he doesn’t then you know that it is a casual friendship you don’t need to bother maintaining because he is a div

Urgh. No, no and thrice no!

This approach is why men get away with behaving like this.

Iheartlibrarians · 02/06/2025 09:07

I mean, the irony of him accusing you of sending your husband out to walk the dog for you- and then needing his wife to fight his battles for him- is honestly pretty perfect.

Don't give it another thought, OP, you made your point well to both, and have had support from a third party so that it can't become a story of how unreasonable you were.

Chin up, move on, they'll get over it in time and it frankly doesn't matter much if they don't.

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 02/06/2025 09:07

Good for you OP. Standing up to that prick for his comments after 2 years of putting up with that crap.

is His wife the one sending the husband to walk the dog ?

HappyNewTaxYear · 02/06/2025 09:06

Guavafish1 · 02/06/2025 08:03

I think you over reacted

No you don’t, you just felt like arguing with someone on here

historyrepeatz · 02/06/2025 09:05

Depte · 02/06/2025 08:23

I put money on this being an ongoing joke between him and your DH and your dh whinges about it to him

I’d put money the other way because I’ve met knobs like him before and heard similar comments when they had never met my DH.

heavenisaplaceonearth · 02/06/2025 09:03

Just post back that you’re sorry he’s upset that you were working not “having a lie in”, his comments about how “lazy” you are are both inaccurate and unwelcome but if he just stops repeating them you are happy to accept his apology.

Balloonhearts · 02/06/2025 09:02

I'd just reply with 'Good! He's been making nasty little digs at me for months and I'm sick of it. Perhaps if he wasn't so rude and sexist, people would be kinder to him.'

MsFelicityLemon · 02/06/2025 09:00

What's he upset about? Did his wife sort out his heart boo boo?

Maybe you should ask him that everytime you see him for the next two years?

Boreded · 02/06/2025 08:59

Seems excessive, but I wasn’t in the situation. I feel for some men because I genuinely think some of them have no idea how to speak to women, but that all are tarnished because of those that are total asshats.

If I was in the situation myself, I would probably apologise to him next time I saw him, but explain why you reacted the way you did. If he apologises sincerely then all is well and he didn’t mean any harm, but if he doesn’t then you know that it is a casual friendship you don’t need to bother maintaining because he is a div

Freedomseeker2025 · 02/06/2025 08:58

How pathetic of his wife to text you
what is he 5 ?!

He deserved it

LoveItaly · 02/06/2025 08:57

I think that you have been extremely patient with this idiot, and I don’t think you have any need to apologise for finally snapping at his tedious and repetitive comments. If fact he should be apologising to you, but he’s probably used to getting away with saying what he likes to people hence being upset at being challenged on this occasion.

toomuchfaff · 02/06/2025 08:57

Depte · 02/06/2025 08:24

Well he’s hardly likely to say “yes dear it’s a joke I’m having with him, I whinge about me being your slave” kind of thing is he… given you are raging before his very eyes!

Show quote history

triggered much

Is that you male passive aggressive dog walker who got put in your place and went crying to your wife to tell them off

ThatCalmCat · 02/06/2025 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Are you the joking man she has finally pulled up for unfunny/repetitive/boring/unfounded digs that have gone on for 2 years?

So what should she have done instead? Keep tolerating it?

Are you saying it's OK to be jeered at and told you are lazy despite being someone who gives people palliative care, which I imagine is one of the toughest jobs you could do?

I don't blame her for raging.

Endofyear · 02/06/2025 08:55

Ahh boo fucking hoo, he's upset and ran home to tell his mummy! 😂 hopefully he's learned the lesson to keep his big gob shut! Well done OP!