AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

Oh here we go again, more bullshit posts trying to make out OP is in the wrong here.
@Guttyyyyyyyyy ignore! Some posters obviously have nothing better to do.

They both sound insufferable. I think it's amazing that you managed to hold it in for 2 years! He absolutely deserved and is clearly a misogynistic prat.

And as for #bekind, urgh! Seems to be the modern response for trying to shut people down because they've said something that calls them out.

Good on you for saying something to him, also how cringe is it that he has to get his wife to “stand up for him” on a WhatsApp group.

I'm gobsmacked that a grown man would run back to his mummy wife and say he was upset by your reaction. He obviously didn't give her the full story. And wth is she thinking by messaging the group?!?! urgh..so pathetic. 😑

The poor diddums, having to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

Frankly, after a difficult day on a palliative care setting, I think he was lucky you didn’t strangle him with your dog lead.

I’d reply how about don’t make sexist, illinformed jokes for 2 years then run home blubbing to mommy when you’re finally pulled up on your twattish juvenile behaviour.

But I’m a burn bridges kinda gal and my menopausal rage knows no fucks now.

In response you should say : (wife name) Thank you so much for the #BeKind your DH's constant belittling and bullying remarks have indeed become too much so it is really nice of you to reiterate this point to him

Absolutely agree about menopausal rage! I always want to tell younger women - the things that annoy you in your partner when you’re pre-menstrual, make sure you pay attention to your anger and address the problems. Don’t just blame PMT and put up with it, or once you hit menopause you will find that same shit enraging every single day.

Basically, always pay attention to what your anger is telling you, it’s where your power lies.

OP you did the right thing, the man is a misogynistic dick and why should you put up with it.

Oh Yes. Absolutely.

If I was in your shoes OP and even if I was not working in Palliative care but just we both fancied an alternant lie in , this would absolutely boil my piss. Stupid fucking man. The shit they think they should aim at women. It is not like they get gold stars for their stupid utterances!

He deserved it

ODFOD

She did tell him politely over and over again.

OP, I commend your restraint.
But I don't believe it was a menopause response after two years.

A proportionate menopausal response would have been to tell him to STFU and not speak to you again and to confirm it in writing to his wife on the WhatsApp😁

I loathe PA pass remarkable remarks from people, who have zero imagination and think they have some God given right to remark on stuff that has nothing to do with them.

Years ago my husband who worked long hours would take both our boys to their swimming lessons on a Saturday morning.
His ONE outing a week with them!

This acquaintance that attended who was a PITA with her remarks in general, made a few digs at me about how incredible he was to do it and I should consider myself so lucky to have my Saturday mornings to myself.
Likewise she hadn't a clue what was going on in my life and who I was supporting.

I turned one morning after zero sleep and asked "Do me a favour Sarah and mind your own bloody business"🤨 and walked away.

The following morning her flying monkey siddled up to me saying she was "very hurt".
I sent her off with a flea in her ear too.
That was the beginning of peri for me and my patience with irritating people going straight out the window.

15 years later it has never returned.😁

But if we don’t educate them properly then how will they change?

I’m not a perfect human who has never upset someone in their life, and I am sure I will upset dozens more before I die. But at no point is any harm ever meant, so someone explaining to me that they were upset gives me the opportunity to apologise and alter the behaviour that they found offensive.

If someone I upset had reacted in the way the OP did, I would be much less likely to want to set the situation right. And if I had reacted in the way the op did then I would understand that someone wouldn’t want to approach the issue with me until I apologised.

i just don’t want to believe that ALL men are awful, because I know from experience that they are not, but some are oblivious to their stupidity

I’d reply.

Be kind??? Brian has made the same ‘joke’ about me being lazy for TWO YEARS Jenny! TWO YEARS. I didn’t laugh the first time. After the 127th time of him talking about my lie-ins I admit I snapped after being exhausted from sitting with a lovely woman all night while she died. Tell him just to smile and say ‘good morning’ and I’ll say it back. Pushing the same unfunny line was getting tedious.

"Yes, palliative care is a hard job so we need people to be kind to us."

Good! That needed pointing out!

He's probably told his wife he just made a little joke (no mention of the two years he's been making the same one) and that you overreacted. She might have no real idea of what really happened. No excuse for her attacking you though - even if you had done exactly that she needs to let him fight his own battles.

It's also no excuse, but some men (is he over 50?) have a sense of humour based on making others feel uncomfortable. I find it deeply unfunny, but they seem to have learnt it at school and carry it into adult life. 'Just joking dear', sort of thing. He needs to learn to wind his neck in.

OP has been ignoring him for 2 years - clearly this doesn’t work

What fresh hell is a dog walkers-and their partners-WhatsApp group? 😬
I can't bear the cliques that gather at the same time every day and make a point of having over 20 different places (mainly desserted) that I walk my own dogs.
Appreciate this is not always possible due to time/transport/prefence.
Anyway, well done OP 👏

yep, this.

Deserved, well done, OP.

Well done op, sounds like he's needed a wake up call after 2 years of boorish behaviour. The fact he's ran off to complain about it to his mum wife tells you everything you need to know!

I don't blame you but it might have been easier to just say, "Good morning/evening", and move on. I'm surprised you know him well enough for his wife to have your details, frankly!

I do understand how his remarks are annoying, they would annoy me but I wondered, is this an elderly man who does not remember details but wants to be pleasant?

In future, just ignore him - and fgs don't get into whatsapp with random dog walkers, never mind their spouses!