Page 16 | AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 2025-06-02T06:57:02+00:00

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around. There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect. every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect. I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day. So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job. He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@. AIBU to think he deserves it.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 02/06/2025 12:48

Iloveyoubut · 02/06/2025 11:19

Would they? I actually don’t find that to be true in my experience if Mumsnet.

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It's incredible the number of people who come out with that line, though.

I've always assumed they are men.

CoubousAndTourmalet · 02/06/2025 12:47

IgneousSedimentary · 02/06/2025 12:15

Exactly.

And here’s another tip for men ‘unsure’ about talking to women — if you wouldn’t say it to a man, don’t say it to a woman. If you wouldn’t tell Big Jim with the Rottweiler to ‘Give us a smile, love”, then don’t say it to Angela with the Shihtzu.

It’s really not that difficult.

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Agreed.
Although, where I live it's more like Big Jim with the Shi-Tzu and Angela with the Rottweiler...and the women with the bigger dogs are the ones that get more shit from blokes. Trust me on that one.

Grammarnut · 02/06/2025 12:44

Guavafish1 · 02/06/2025 08:03

I think you over reacted

She really didn't. She told him she goes out to work i.e. when DH walks the dog she is at work. He should have stopped. Some people think this behaviour is funny/waggish/just a joke, but it can be really upsetting - OP clearly upset, esp when she works in a palliative care unit (you know what that means, I take it - what her days often include?)

SunnySideUK77 · 02/06/2025 12:43

Tough shit. Tell her he’s be n upsetting you every week. He can give it out but can obviously not take it.
And why’s his wife contacting you like he’s the King?!

Original poster

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:43

sugarapplelane · 02/06/2025 12:36

Has the Wife replied Op?

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No reply.

OP posts:

DolefullySingingMotherfucka · 02/06/2025 12:41

Rosscameasdoody · 02/06/2025 12:11

Yep, his arsesoul mate !!

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😂

Grammarnut · 02/06/2025 12:41

He deserved it. Twerp.

thestudio · 02/06/2025 12:38

EnterFunnyNameHere · 02/06/2025 08:00

He deserved it. Feel free to message back the wife and say he's been upsetting you for the last 2 years going on and on about it even when you've been politely trying to shut him down each time!

This. Do not leave it there - you've started, finish the job

Seriously though, these fucking men who think they're entitled to comment on anything.

IsItSnowing · 02/06/2025 12:36

He absolutely deserved it. And good for you.

sugarapplelane · 02/06/2025 12:36

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:32

I was tempted, but my friends comment has been liked by nearly every other group member so Im happy to just let it stand.

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Has the Wife replied Op?

Original poster

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:32

Americano75 · 02/06/2025 12:24

Jesus, he sounds vile. I'd be putting #dontbeacunt in that chat.

I was tempted, but my friends comment has been liked by nearly every other group member so Im happy to just let it stand.

OP posts:

Yakacm · 02/06/2025 12:27

My god, his wife contacted you? Says everything you need to know right there. I mean I guess a better way would have been to say something like, oh these walks with the dog are like an oasis of peace and quiet after my longs days at work...Nigel (he sounds like a Nigel, no offense against anyone called Nigel), yes my LONG DAYS AT WORK NIGEL. But your way was good too.

Flashahah · 02/06/2025 12:26

Cavend · 02/06/2025 12:08

@Guttyyyyyyyyy

This. 100%. You say your DH agrees with you about giving this idiot both barrels, you don't know what he's said to the idiot (who sounds like a misogynist) and other members of the group, when you are at work.

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Some of us know our DHs very well and the character of the men we’ve married, which is why we chose them.

Project about your own DH and choices, but OP has already confirmed that her DH would not speak about her like that, I’d think she was best placed to know.

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 02/06/2025 12:25

Cavend · 02/06/2025 12:08

@Guttyyyyyyyyy

This. 100%. You say your DH agrees with you about giving this idiot both barrels, you don't know what he's said to the idiot (who sounds like a misogynist) and other members of the group, when you are at work.

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Oh please, what a load of bullshit 🙄
I'm pretty sure the op knows her husband and what he's like. The further posts from the OP show even more so that the man is a misogynistic, racist, dickhead!

But of course some people just like to blame the OP.

Americano75 · 02/06/2025 12:24

Jesus, he sounds vile. I'd be putting #dontbeacunt in that chat.

ContraryNoodle · 02/06/2025 12:24

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 09:12

She thinks the sun shines out of his arse. 🙄

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She sounds like a really pathetic basic bitch.

Projectme · 02/06/2025 12:23

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:05

Exactly, its like you've met him!
Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

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fuuuuuuuck me!!! he's obnoxious

KatieCelf · 02/06/2025 12:22

YANBU I’m a midwife and you soon get sick of the stupid comments like that especially when they’re so relentless after a bad shift. Good I’m glad you upset him! Maybe he’ll think before he says something stupid next time!

HappyLols · 02/06/2025 12:20

A tedious, racist bully who gets his wife to fight for him when he has been called out 😂

Rosscameasdoody · 02/06/2025 12:20

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:05

Exactly, its like you've met him!
Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

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Sorry but I wouldn’t be hiding away because of this racist prick. Hopefully she’ll take a tip from you and give him both barrels of her own next time he does it. You’re a star !!

LittleBitofBread · 02/06/2025 12:20

MrTiddlesTheCat · 02/06/2025 12:08

Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

A racist twat.

Racist as well as a male chauvinist. I think he should be asked to leave the group.

PhilomenaPunk · 02/06/2025 12:18

LittleBitofBread · 02/06/2025 12:11

Here's the thing: speaking to women is not some big mystery; it's just like speaking to men. And if you're not sure what to say to an acquaintance, whatever their sex, the obvious thing is to ask them how they are or how their day was or something. That would have given the OP the opportunity to say a little bit about her job and how it had been tough, which (one hopes) would have helped him to see that he should not make stupid comments about her being lazy and sending her DP out.
And screw apologising, frankly. He's a grown adult; if he really doesn't know about small talk by now, that’s on him.

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The infantilising of grown men is astounding isn’t it? The poor ikkle blokes just don’t know what to do for the best these days…my rule of thumb is if you’re not sure then keep your trap shut.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/06/2025 12:17

ClaredeBear · 02/06/2025 10:57

Guy I see at the gym had similar “banter”. He loudly demanded to know why he’s not seen you at the gym for a while (probably because people try to avoid him) and it was constant. Every. Single. Time. So it was very irritating but there are times when people haven’t been able to go because they’ve been ill or injured or had something come up in their lives and that’s when being made to feel as if you have to publicly explain yourself became very awkward. No, his wife knows exactly what he’s like, so she’s no better.

So rather than feeling awkward and as though you owe him an explanation of every bit of the minutiae in your lives, the correct response is ‘mind your own business’. On repeat. Every time.

BonfireToffee · 02/06/2025 12:16

This thread has perked up my morning. Love a dickhead getting his arse handed to him. Fully agree it’s time for him to find a new group.

IgneousSedimentary · 02/06/2025 12:15

LittleBitofBread · 02/06/2025 12:11

Here's the thing: speaking to women is not some big mystery; it's just like speaking to men. And if you're not sure what to say to an acquaintance, whatever their sex, the obvious thing is to ask them how they are or how their day was or something. That would have given the OP the opportunity to say a little bit about her job and how it had been tough, which (one hopes) would have helped him to see that he should not make stupid comments about her being lazy and sending her DP out.
And screw apologising, frankly. He's a grown adult; if he really doesn't know about small talk by now, that’s on him.

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Exactly.

And here’s another tip for men ‘unsure’ about talking to women — if you wouldn’t say it to a man, don’t say it to a woman. If you wouldn’t tell Big Jim with the Rottweiler to ‘Give us a smile, love”, then don’t say it to Angela with the Shihtzu.

It’s really not that difficult.