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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

637 replies

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 07:57

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

OP posts:
Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:51

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:26

And I have no intention of offering an olive branch, I don't feel the need to engage with him again.

No I absolutely wouldn’t either, based on his wife being a pillock too, and his history of making other stupid/racist/etc comments.

it doesn’t sound like a loss at all if you don’t have to speak to this guy again.

Jaxhog · 02/06/2025 13:50

Good for you Op! I wouldn't have waited nearly that long.

placemats · 02/06/2025 13:49

I know a sexist man like this except his DW would have posted on the WhatsApp group "Well done for what you said, he's bang out of order x"

YANBU and thank you for the incredibly important but stressful work you do xx

LittleMonks11 · 02/06/2025 13:47

When is the next walk OP? What’s the betting he flounces from the walking group.

TheFifthTellytubby · 02/06/2025 13:45

Flashahah · 02/06/2025 13:27

I could make a suggestion for the olive branch…….

😂

Apollo365 · 02/06/2025 13:44

Whoop! Good for you OP!

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:43

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 12:05

Exactly, its like you've met him!
Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

Oh wow, he is definitely one of them then…and here was me thinking maybe he wasn’t that bad 🫣

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 02/06/2025 13:41

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 08:03

Thank you. I was slightly worried that my menopausal rage had taken over. DH agrees with you all . She has just put a message on the watsapp group #Be Kind.
Oh the irony 🙄

She quoted Melania Trump? Even more ironic.

Three cheers for you.

Man makes ignorant annoying sexist comments for years.
Man is finally told his unwelcome assumptions are wrong
Man makes a bit fuss about hurty feelings.

He owes you an apology but I'd just ignore both of them.

DelboytrottersDnecklace · 02/06/2025 13:40

I know it's not quite the same,but years ago I had a customer that was exactly the same with his pathetic comments-but only to women

He'd cower at men-I saw him do it many times-it was normally to younger women (young girls,first job,didn't feel they could make a fuss-and me)

I'd be polite but back right off if he came in

Well one day,I was sorting out the bin when he came out of nowhere and ground his hard cock into my back

I freaked out,told the bosses,who then checked the cctv and rang the police

Police 'had a word' and immediately the girlfriend started sticking up for him

'He didn't do it' 'he didn't mean it' 'it's a game they play' 'she's over reacting'

When that didn't wash,she started coming in to have a go at me,started a smear campaign on sm about me (which got her nowhere) and still bad mouths me in the street

He however just hid behind her and still does to this day

They are cowards-he wouldn't have done that to a man and by hiding behind her and her gob,proves he's not a 'real' man

Kathbrownlow · 02/06/2025 13:38

Some people deliberately post to be contrary, OP, don't pay any heed.

IgneousSedimentary · 02/06/2025 13:38

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:37

I didnt go full meltdown, no tears, shouting , swearing or stamping of feet.
I am a 52 year old professional in healthcare not a toddler.
Believe it or not giving information in a concise manner is part of my job .
I gave him the full, unvarnished lowdown on what I was actually doing yesterday, nothing more.

Delighted to hear it. Good for you.

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:37

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:31

What are you talking about?

and also…‘properly served’ - if you don’t like what someone says then tell them, nobody need to go full meltdown, just tell them politely that you don’t appreciate their comments and move on. It doesn’t have to be a race to the bottom

I didnt go full meltdown, no tears, shouting , swearing or stamping of feet.
I am a 52 year old professional in healthcare not a toddler.
Believe it or not giving information in a concise manner is part of my job .
I gave him the full, unvarnished lowdown on what I was actually doing yesterday, nothing more.

OP posts:
BuildbyNumbere · 02/06/2025 13:36

Yes, he’s a twat.

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:36

thepariscrimefiles · 02/06/2025 10:31

Why on earth is it OP's job to educate a misogynistic twat who has been taking the piss out of her for 2 years? She just wants him to shut up and leave her alone and, hopefully, now he will.

I can't believe that a man behaves like this and you have framed it as another job for a woman rather than the man just learning his lesson from what OP said to him.

If that’s what you take from this that is fine. But I treat people the way I wish to be treated, and I call out disrespect in a respectful way. That’s all I’m saying should happen.

EleanorReally · 02/06/2025 13:35

they both sound really irritating
i would leave the whatsapp group personally

AutumnLover1989 · 02/06/2025 13:34

Barrenfieldoffucks · 02/06/2025 08:05

I would just answer "I agree, thank you ❤️"

This and add "Now tell your husband the same".

StEmillion · 02/06/2025 13:34

oldmanandtheangel · 02/06/2025 12:10

I work in a well known, huge retailer (huge as in worldwide, and its dimensions too..i easily walk 10-20 miles per shift)
The escalator going up into the main part of store has stairs next to it.
An elderly male customer was racing up the stairs while I was on the escalator and smugly informed me this is exactly why I'm overweight (I have a very painful medical condition as well as a hormonal disease, which causes this) I informed him I'd already been on my feet ten hours straight and he'd better stay away from me as I didn't want to lose my job by saying more....

Wow! You’ve got to wonder how dissatisfied with their own life someone’s got to be to be such a fucking prick. Well done for politely telling him where to go. At least you only had to deal with him for a minute. He has to take his shitty self everywhere he goes!

I’ve put on weight as a result of medical issues - it’s really hard.

Flashahah · 02/06/2025 13:33

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:31

What are you talking about?

and also…‘properly served’ - if you don’t like what someone says then tell them, nobody need to go full meltdown, just tell them politely that you don’t appreciate their comments and move on. It doesn’t have to be a race to the bottom

Fight fire with fire! The twat had been ignored for two years, what made him think his “joke” that wasn’t funny two years ago had got funny?

Two fucking years of hearing his inane boring “joke”!

anytipswelcome · 02/06/2025 13:32

@Boreded

Two years of comments (which she’s never laughed at or indulged) and one instance where she told him she didn’t appreciate it and explained the actual situation to him doesn’t seem disproportionate to me.

It seems your standards for men’s behaviour are very low and your expectations for what women should tolerate to ‘keep the peace’ (aka prioritise a man’s comfort over their own) are unreasonably high tbh,

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:31

echt · 02/06/2025 09:40

Oh FFS. This is all about you, all the "ifs".

The OP properly served the annoying man who has had TWO years to think about what a twat he is.

What are you talking about?

and also…‘properly served’ - if you don’t like what someone says then tell them, nobody need to go full meltdown, just tell them politely that you don’t appreciate their comments and move on. It doesn’t have to be a race to the bottom

Kathbrownlow · 02/06/2025 13:31

With a bit of luck, he and his wife will slope off and find another group to piss off, where once again it won't be his fault.

BIossomtoes · 02/06/2025 13:30

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:26

And I have no intention of offering an olive branch, I don't feel the need to engage with him again.

Good for you. He should be extending the olive branch accompanied by a good bottle of wine and a big bunch of flowers.

PhilomenaPunk · 02/06/2025 13:29

Boreded · 02/06/2025 13:20

No, but it isn’t about the apology, it’s about the olive branch. I appreciate that some men are jerks, but others aren’t, and we don’t know whether this one is a jerk or just stupid, I’m guessing the latter.

I just don’t think that the right way to get men to respect women is to act disproportionately, as happened in this case.

im not on his side, he clearly can’t read a room, but that doesn’t mean he is part of the problem

And this is exactly the type of pathetic, pandering nonsense that validates misogynistic behaviour. Thankfully more and more women are waking up and rallying against this nonsense as not all of us are prepared to limit or minimise ourselves and our needs in order to garner approval from misogynists. Hopefully you will also wake up one day and realise that men are not worth more than women.

Flashahah · 02/06/2025 13:27

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:26

And I have no intention of offering an olive branch, I don't feel the need to engage with him again.

I could make a suggestion for the olive branch…….

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 02/06/2025 13:26

And I have no intention of offering an olive branch, I don't feel the need to engage with him again.

OP posts:
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