To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

Again, nobody said that everyone is the same.

Neither would women, unless it's a genuinely thought out compliment.

I have no daughters but want to shout if I see a grown man "checking out" a teenager (last week saw 30yo who appeared to be walking with his wife oggle a teenager in a dress which was fairly modest

I think it's just a universal female experience really. And awful.

I've two DDs, 14 and 15.
My eldest is feisty and has called men out from about the age of 13. It rightly gives her the rage.

Youngest is quite shy, much more like me at that age, and has let her sister deal with it or ignores.

It's not happened when we've been together, but I get the rage at the drop of a hat (thanks perimenopause) so would be quite happy to set a pervert straight.

Grown women telling a 12 year old that he's gorgeous!

That's sickening behaviour. Imaging if a group of men said that about your 12 year old daughter.

A friends teenage daughter would loudly shout “Paedo” at any older men who leered at her. Not sure I’d want my daughter to do the same but it did seem to work.

Oh calm down it's nothing to do with puberty. I started puberty early, i didn't look 25. It's the clothes, hair and makeup. My 13 year old niece looks about 18!

This place is wild. People will literally pick at anything and argue black is white. In the world of mumsnet everyone is the same attraction wise.

I'm not saying they have.

My point is that some people look like super models and some don't. Pretending not to be able to spot the difference is disingenuous.

The men who leer at beautiful teens are the same men who let less conventionally attractive teens know that they are an ugly bitch/fat cow/insert other misogynistic slur here. Few women/girls escape the attentions of these men.

It's a concern for all parents. In an ideal world men wouldn't feel the need to share their opinion on how attractive they find someone.

And from much younger.

I've been having age appropriate 'red flag' talks with dd and ds since a young age.

Now dd is 13 we have already been through a lot about what is creepy vs respectful behaviour, and that sadly some men are predatory towards children/teenagers.

I felt it was important that she knew it could happen, and that it absolutely is not OK behaviour and those sorts of men are to be avoided.

My mother did the same for me. And I'll never forget being 14 years old and watching her chase a grown man down the sea front after he licked his lips at me and tried to rub past me in the amusements. She may have been 5' 4" but she was ferocious.

Her tactic did seem to work though. Loudly shouting about what the men were doing, and that they were a pedophile, so everyone in the vicinity turned to look. They'd either swear but leave quickly, or startle like a frightened chicken.

I know so many girls who gave up or reduced sport activities, at least in part due to feeling judged on their looks. I hope your daughter can continue doing what she loves, and if she does become aware of jealous or leering looks etc from others that you can remind her both how amazing she is and how she is allowed to call out anything she's not comfortable with.

But you thought she was not average looking. Look at the comments from the multiple women on this thread that said in their words plain yet still got unwanted attention. Your child isn’t special, she’s female, that’s all men care about. Men rape babies and women in their 90s. It’s not about appearance.

Yes, my nigh on 15 year old is very conventionally attractive, but is also very sporty and fit and looks older. Spends a lot of time training, often in small shorts etc. I've seen the looks she gets on the ferries, service stations etc as we travel from places to place. Luckily she is quite oblivious at the moment.

I think most girls and women experience this unfortunately.

Being beautiful is a positive, not something to wring your hands over. Some people really can turn anything into a negative!

What is 'average looking'?

So, she's aesthetically attractive, based on societal standards? So what? Attractiveness comes in many forms.
I say this as someone who was told I was above average in terms of attractiveness (using that or similar words) but I hated it. Everyone is attractive in their own way, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leer.

👀

Wouldnt admit that on a public forum 🤢

My daughter was stared at from 8 years old and walking down the street with her from 11 years old has made me utterly despair. Deeply troubling and sickening. I have had many cross words with men who not only stare but think it’s okay to say things to her.

I posted similar a few years ago about my then 13 year daughter going to a big scout camp with hundreds of other people where they'd have minimal adult supervision. She looks a lot older and was already getting unwanted attention. I was torn to absolute shreds. Apparently we're not allowed to recognise that our children are not average looking.

It's awful isnt it? No one should have to be having talks with young girls/women about what to do when men can't behave themselves.

My husband thought I was over-reacting until he saw it himself (she's now 15).

It seems that the more we empower ourselves to not put up with this crap, the more blatant it becomes.

Her general tone suggests it's about more than just her own children imho.

Her OWN children

So because she’s beautiful she should expect to get abused?