To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

Agree, it’s awful in some places, I was genuinely terrified at 13 and it ruined my trip and I swore never to go back to the country even though I had loved it since being a child. I couldn’t cope with that every day, I feel for any women who have to deal with it on a regular basis.

I think most menk now a woman with a bit more life experience isn't a good bet to harass. :-)

And I'm definitely not plain. Not beautiful either.

When I was younger I had no idea how to handle it. So I was more vulnerable to attracting attention. My father took a 'boys will be boys' attitude, my mother seemed to think it should be flattering to be given attention. This is not what I have taught my daughters and any man who tries doesn't get far because I'm mature, I have life experience, and I shut that crap down.

Not really. Op was saying because her daughter is beautiful she’s getting male attention… this is not the case. Many comments have been from people who say they are plain/ugly and got male attention./assaulted. So yes rape of babies and old women is relevant as it not limited to “beautiful people”

@PearlHare @BunnyLake I've travelled a lot and lived abroad.

As I say 'more here than in SOME countries'. I didn't say more here than in MOST countries.

Lived for a long time in Scandinavia and travelled around there too. Also lived in Germany and Switzerland. Admittedly not the southern hemisphere where I know it's even more common.

Bloody hell yes. I’ve been to some countries where I’ve been thankful to be living here where you can pretty much walk the streets and go about your day without hassle nowadays. Yes obviously it happens but nowhere near the extent of somewhere like Tunisia, where I couldn't take a single step anywhere without being sexually harassed, cat called, manhandled, you name it - not a single step. Horrific.

And anyone is doesn’t develop till a later age also gets the same attention - I should know, I didn’t hit puberty till I was about 17, and whilst the boys of my age bullied me for being ‘flat’, older men leered over me because I was female. I was a little, or young if you prefer, girl at 12, 23 etc, getting leered at. It happens all the time and isn’t about beauty or ‘curves’.

And I have very beautiful friends, at an older age maybe they get more attention but when you’re young it doesn’t seem to matter what society deems.

No I did not say that 😆

But it’s all down to what a girl wears is why she gets attention? That’s what you said wasn’t it? If a girl dressing half naked then yes she’s going to get attention? Did you not say that?

Anyone who is well developed at a young age knows the shame they can feel with the amount of looks and leering from men, including much older men.

Of course attention is linked to beauty. Try walking down the street with someone incredibly attractive the difference is insane.

I don't know what you mean by "little girls get attention" I'm talking about leering not general attention.

Totally this.

It really shocks me how some men can be such letchy creeps when they have mothers, wives and daughters in their lives, are they so incapable of joining the dots on this?

Yes some men take advantage or prey on vulnerable people or take advantage of situations, e.g. a dark alley, or someone they know and groom.

A different issue to this thread which is general attention and leering from men.

My 13 year old cousin looks like an adult with a face-full of make-up and her latest shein dress on.

Then why do little girls get so much attention? It has nothing to do with beauty whatsoever, and certainly not ‘curves’ because otherwise young girls who have zero ‘curves’ wouldn’t get the hassle they get.

Hun?? And you've yet to answer why you thought that me saying people can look older than they are is something to do with skirt length?

There is no age when it's ok to leer and you know that.

I said people rather than men because women can also be surprised at someone's age not just men. I think your looking for a problem when there isnt one. You must make your own life difficult for yourself!

Not to sound rude but I don’t think you’ve travelled much if you think it happens more here in the UK. Christ, it’s rife everywhere, I can recall being made to feel VERY uncomfortable in a certain country at 13 and my dad had to push a man away from me. It’s not UK-centric and in comparison to some places we seem to be very tame.

Men might still look at 50. But it's unlikely to be on a daily basis they're harrassing you for your number, commenting on your looks, asking you out, leering etc. If you're a beautiful young teenager the attention would not be comparable to an odd look you might get at 50 and plain.

It does have something to do with beauty and as you mentioned having female curves which to the male eye is beauty.

“Ugly women” still get raped. As do babies and old women.

It must be so hard for men. All those beautiful “females” and not allowed to look. I mean it’s so difficult to know whether a female is over 16 and so will find a random man acknowledging her beauty a compliment, or under 16 and unfairly tempting to poor innocents into bad thoughts.

it’s almost as if men have no empathy, decency or self control…

Yes all women will get male attention to some degree. But the frequency if you are young and beautiful will be much much higher than if you're average looking or not conventionally attractive. Same if they have big boobs. Strange how so many posters seem to refute this.

Not sure there's much you can do, other than teaching your Daughter it's okay to be rude to these men and ignore, walk away, report. Also to take basic personal safety measures- be aware of your surroundings, let someone know where you are, have your phone set up to ring emergency services when you shake it etc.

You’re missing the point hun, let me explain. You said some people, I assume you mean men, don’t realise the age of the female (under age girl) that they are perving over. I asked you what age should they be allowed to leer. You have still yet to reply…

Times don’t seem to change when it comes to that, though luckily there is more legal protection than there was when I was that age. At 16 I got leered at and propositioned a lot and back in the 70s you were expected (by the world) to be flattered and smile.

I don’t really even have any tips as I struggled through it but I would advise not laughing, smiling or humouring them, a stony glare or total grey rock would be a better response. It shouldn’t have to be up to girls and women to learn how to navigate this, some men should just stop being lecherous arseholes. They are the ones that need educating, not the girls.

Parents also have to take responsibility over the type of boy they are raising. My two young adult sons would never behave in a leering way to women, they find it totally jerk behaviour.

Beauty has nothing to do with it. I'm not beautiful and have had men staring and harrassing me since I was 11 (early developer). I'm now 51 and they still look. I'm female, that's good enough for them.

This thread is crazy! 😆

I agree, girls of all conventional standards of beauty are likely to be leered at or otherwise attract unwanted attention at some some point, and it is a concern. But come on now, some people stand out. Many on mn deny a difference in "attractiveness" across the population full stop, which makes talking about the issues it raises quite difficult. Weighing up whether this teen or that teen is "prettier" is one thing and completely unnecessary/inappropriate. But some genuinely are beautiful enough to stand out and will attract all sorts of attention from anyone with eyes, and gaslighting them and their mums pretending it doesn't happen just shuts down a real concern.

Yes, men and boys should act appropriately at all times and should control themselves. No one is denying that unwanted stupid comments or full on disgusting leering and worse is their fault and theirs alone, and girls of all "looks" are vulnerable to pervy men. But there is a range isn't there. You've got your absolute scum prepared to physically assault, the catcalling dickheads, and then the public leery starers. Some of these will overlap, but a stand out beauty will attract staring wherever she goes. Not all of these are the worst offender types prepared to get physical given half a chance, but the problem is you don't know which ones are which, hence the worrying.

My own little anecdotes. I was not stand out beautiful, but was slim with long blond hair and attractive enough I suppose for a teen and within my friendship group probably drew the most attention. I hated any staring, I was shy and unconfident and I didn't know how to deal with it. I would have benefitted from honest discussion and an adult talking to me about it and giving me some strategies.

I had a friend who was and is not ugly, in fact I think the opposite. But she was a spotty and overweight teen. She lived with weird and neglectful parents so her clothes were not replaces as they show have been either. She kind of caved in on herself in her own lack of confidence. She drew unwanted attention too, and her self esteem never recovered ☹️

My sister had a friend who to this day is the most striking and beautiful woman I know in real life. By 15 she was 6ft. Couldn't walk in a city without being "scouted". Not identikit beautiful like many modern stars but absolutely stunning in her own way - think Julia Roberts in a see of barbies. Men and women would stare wherever she went. Her life went how you might imagine, an enormous amount of male attention but it took into her 30s to find a genuinely good one.

Anyway I'm just using these examples to show that you can argue about the language used for it, but trying to deny a difference in "attractiveness" and the effect that has is ridiculous. The problem is with men, but I think facing the reality and doing our best to equip our teens for it is the right thing. And worrying is a parent's default setting of course! 😩

And what's that got to do with skirt length?? I'm female and I can sometimes be surprised with how old young females can look. Their faces, their confidence etc. Nothing to do with skirt length that you seemed to think I was talking about.

The point I was making is that some people might not even realise how young the person is. Which is what the other poster was saying and you didnt seem to understand. I'm guessing the other poster was female too.

By these comments if she’s beautiful she should be lucky to get attention from men, even at 12. It’s also got to do with what she wears because men can’t help themselves… yes these are comments from some posters 👀