To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

My DD and her friends shout 'paedo' at them

It isn't just the "normal" what everyone would call "beautiful"
Even as an over weight, big breasted, big bum but objectively attractive face I would get leered over by men.
I don't know I kinda feel this thread is abit show off "I've got a beautiful child look at me" sort of thread...

My DD is 14 but looks older. We were at a
water park and this 30ish year old guy was leering at her and smiling at her trying to catch her eye. I splashed him in the face and told him she’s 14 years old and to stop being a dirty perv.

I had men chat me up when i was still at primary school. I was taller than my friends, a well developed 32c with long black curly hair. Unfortunately i was used to dealing with men ( We had a pub) I could either diffuse the situation or tell them to fuck off if it got that far. Teach your Daughter how to deal with them. Teach your son's how to behave.

Horrific isn't it?

I worked in a school in my late 40's comments from boys about huge breasts (mine) pretty disgusting. Apparently its banter. They start young and online talk about women as objects. Think Andrew Tate etc. Huge rise in online porn in school boys. Horrible. Not sure many parents are aware of what their children are looking at online. Sexting at very young ages too.

Started with my dd age 11/12 pervs staring,looking up and down
making comments
disgusting

Men leer at most young women, beautiful or not. I remember as a school kid in high school, from around 13-17, workmen mainly but other men as well, whistling and shouting and leering from cars and vans and as we walked past building sites. Vile.

Men have allways been like this. I think we used to shout 'do you wanna picture you fucking pervert' very loudly if I remember. This used to work a treat.

Sadly the poster above right. Can the overweight, plain young women easily find a boyfriend at Uni in the lookist Insta age? No. It’s horrible to watch confidence crumble & erode over time. It’s awful, it shouldn’t be this way but good looks facilitate.

Mine was 14 when a man in a shopping centre - in his 50s according to her - looked her up and down and said ‘Just the way I like it’. Men are fucking grim and the leering and objectification starts early.

Best to arm your child with the self esteem, sense of self preservation, sense, worldliness, confidence and skills that may help them to survive than worry about what you can’t change.

Do you think this is part of the reason they are doing it?

I had more than my fair share of touch from the ugly stick, but was tall and skinny, pancake boobs, but long legs which seemed to attract wrong attention.

OP, you have been raising her for 16 years, hopefully she is prepared for life? You don't need to handle any situation unless someone approaches her while in you company which is unlikely. Every parent needs to make sure they have prepared their dc, daughters and sons, beautiful or plain, for adulthood in the real world we live in and all the challenges it brings.

Good martial arts or self defence class. I managed to find a superb teen Krav Maga class for my middle girl.

Instructor was fantastic role model - ex foreign military - and built self esteem, recognising red flags and attempts to encroach on boundaries , avoiding putting yourself in vulnerable situations as well as the moves to get you away or disable an attacker to give you time to get away. Worth every penny.

Thank you. I felt like I was going mad there. I jist thought it was worth a conversation regarding beauty and the vulnerability it brings to women and children. Won’t make that mistake again.

I was beaten and sexually assaulted when I was 25 (and generally was called beautiful at that age) and then I was violently sexually assualted by a stranger on the street when I was 62. Some men do not think women are human beings.

I wouldnt bother trying to have a sane conversation with @catinthereallysmallhat she doesnt seem to have a sense of reality.

Sadly not particularly optimistic about the harassment improving - my mother and aunt were harassed my sisters and I were now our daughters are. All varying levels of attractiveness - only common denominator being teens / young women 😢😢

Lol at the Mumsnet urge to bat people down, and the fact that 90% of replies here are just so the posters can imply that OPs daughter isn't as pretty as OP thinks she is 🥲

I think they main thing is helping your daughter in how to navigate that.

I got a lot of attention from older men from aged 14 on. At 15 I had a 33 yr old 'boy'friend I thought it was all amazing. It was not. It is disgusting!!

surely this is an issue for all girls and young women irrespective of what anyone perceives as "beauty". Older women do not escape it either Sit down and chat to any group of women of any age and you will find apperance tends to be irrelevant as they will all be able recount experiences that will range from street harrassment through to physical sexual violence. Yes, young women get the most blatant sort of sleazy vileness but no female is immune from how foul some men can be. My mate was in her car the other day, stopped at the lights and a man drew up in the other lane and said "oi, bitch, suck my dick". My friend is 64, so not a young and beautiful girl.

My DD is tall, slim, beautiful, had long blonde hair. She’s recently cut her hair short, wears baggy grungy clothes, is questioning her gender.

TBH, I feel a sense of relief that she could be mistaken for a boy. She has a good set of friends and seems to be focussing on her interests/ not going up too quickly.

Her friend group are similar and all questioning traditional stereotypes about boy/girl identity.

While I was sceptical at first, she does seem to be avoiding any awful predatory behaviour from men.

Far too many of these men are leering not just because of sex drive and girls’ looks, but because they like making girls and women uncomfortable. There would be ways of looking and appreciating beauty without being on a power trip.

I’ve had my dd training in martial arts for years, following my experiences as a teen, and I’m hoping it’ll give her the option and confidence to call these scum out as pervs and creeps, even as she gets to 18 or 20. Because it never fucking stops, and being afraid of violence is what stops these male apes, and all that stops these male apes, when another male ape is on the scene.

Have you had her in martial arts yet? If not, tomorrow is the next best time to start, whether she feels like it or not.