Page 11 | To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

TheBlueUniform · 2025-06-02T01:07:05+00:00

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react. She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy. How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

TheaBrandt1 · 02/06/2025 05:10

Yes all parents think their baby is beautiful but by 16 it’s hard to not to notice where your child compares to their peers.

Dd2 looks like a supermodel. She does model
actually and is scouted on numerous occasions so it’s not me with my mum goggles. Being with her is like being with a celebrity I can’t explain it unless you have lived it.

Yes there are negatives but let’s not pretend being beautiful isnt a massive advantage. Her life is already impossibly glamorous because the wealthy want beautiful funny stylish people in their set so she hangs out with them already with all that entails. She’s not like dd1 and all the other girls she’s just different. It’s hard to explain.

Petitchat · 02/06/2025 05:04

Zanatdy · 02/06/2025 04:55

My DD is 17 and is beautiful, not just my assessment but others say all the time. Someone stopped me in a petrol station once to say how beautiful my DD was. Scariest time was when she went overseas to visit her dad who had a fairly high profile job. A sports fixture she attended was filmed and shown on social media. 400 comments, all from men, asking to marry her, commenting how beautiful she was, and some gross comments. She was 14.

Scary, gross 🙁

Meadowfinch · 02/06/2025 05:03

I'm sorry to say this but I think you need to be on your guard a lot earlier than 16 !

I was a tall, good looking child (40 years ago) and the first man who tried to persuade me to 'go for a walk with him in the sand dunes' on holiday, did it when I was 11. He was about 20.

Thankfully I had the sense to realise he wasn't right, and legged it but, yes, yanbu. Parents really do need to be on their guard, whether their children are good looking or not.

Six years after that, I had an issue with the father of one of my friends, who was giving me a lift home, so don't go trusting other parents either, just because they are parents.

Oh, and the boyfriend of one of my mum's friends, who pinned me against a kitchen cabinet when I was 12, and my mum had sent me round with a bag of veg from the garden.

It was a bundle of laughs. 🙄

Zanatdy · 02/06/2025 05:00

Koalafan · 02/06/2025 04:29

Don't all parents think their daughter is beautiful?
Teach her life skills, including how to firmly say no.

All parents might think it, but some girls / women are more attractive than others and this can be difficult when they are becoming young women.

MummoMa · 02/06/2025 04:58

I think this is the universal experience of women, beautiful or not.

Zanatdy · 02/06/2025 04:55

My DD is 17 and is beautiful, not just my assessment but others say all the time. Someone stopped me in a petrol station once to say how beautiful my DD was. Scariest time was when she went overseas to visit her dad who had a fairly high profile job. A sports fixture she attended was filmed and shown on social media. 400 comments, all from men, asking to marry her, commenting how beautiful she was, and some gross comments. She was 14.

Petitchat · 02/06/2025 04:54

Bonjovispyjamas · 02/06/2025 03:01

I've got huge boobs which always get stared at. I'm 58 and old enough to be these guy's mother, men are grim.

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At what age does it end, I wonder?

I was standing on a busy touristy seaside road waiting for DH to pick me up, when a man said "drop your drawers and a tenner's yours"

I was aged 60 and had a cane..........

LittleAlexHornesPocket · 02/06/2025 04:51

I am pretty average looking and was catcalled regularly by men when walking to secondary school. And I didn't even wear short skirts.

It's not your daughter's beauty that causes this behaviour. It's creepy men who see ALL women and girls as objects.

Petitchat · 02/06/2025 04:44

DoAWheelie · 02/06/2025 02:51

You find something to worry about no matter what your child is like. Every child is unique in some way that'll make the world harder (and also better). If it wasn't this you'd focus on something else. Try and just enjoy your child for who she is.

It's very difficult to "just enjoy your child for who she is" when she's being leered at right in front of your very eyes.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 04:34

crazeekat · 02/06/2025 03:59

U described me there. The perverts I had, would be babysitting and dads trying to pull covers back, another trying to get my clothes off. My dad’s pals all staring. I’m literally 13 years old. I managed to get out of the situations but hindsight, how lucky was I! Bunch of twisted fucks. Only scared I grassed on them. I don’t hate men I have a loving husband. I also now have a 13 year old and am shitting my pants thinking about how she will fare against the pervs and creeps. I hate to say it but it’s impossible to stop. Even jail doesn’t deter these sick fucks.

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I suggest self defence classes. Tell her if she feels uncomfortable in public, say she’s on a bus and a man is perving on her make a bloody fuss, call attention to it. I realised at very young age that I don’t care if I appear rude but if a man is making me feel uncomfortable then I’m going to get myself out of that situation and make a scene. As girls we are taught to be polite and silent, I say fuck that. Men will never learn we need to protect ourselves.

Koalafan · 02/06/2025 04:29

Don't all parents think their daughter is beautiful?
Teach her life skills, including how to firmly say no.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 04:27

NJLX2021 · 02/06/2025 03:45

I agree that it is horrible.. but it's also the truth. We can fight against it, but just like the reality of short vs tall men, rich vs poor kids etc. life is unfair in so many horrible ways.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try and fight against it, but I also think it needs to be pointed out to mum's like the op - that when they are worrying about their pretty daughter, actually on balance their daughter is in a lucky and privileged position amoing girls.

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Lucky and privileged to be perved on by men in their 30/40s? Men rape all ages from babies to women in their 90s. But because she’s beautiful let’s just ignore it and focus on her privilege.

JayJayj · 02/06/2025 04:21

Call the behaviour out. They are pervs and it’s disgusting.

There is a 13 year gap between me and my youngest sister and I have regularly said things to men when we were younger.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 04:11

Velmy · 02/06/2025 03:37

I hate this attitude, I really do. It reeks of the worldview of someone who never got over not being one the the 'pretty' girls at school. Which, unless you're in the tiny minority of people pursuing a career where certain 'looks' are the only thing that matters, is the last time they did.

People are attracted to all sorts. And while there may still be situations in life where doors are 'opened' for the 'conventionally' attractive, the real winners among us get by via kicking them down 💪

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This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼looks fade and only take you so far. Personality and have brains last forever. Most people that think like this peak in high school 🤭

ShakeItLoose · 02/06/2025 04:07

LBFseBrom · 02/06/2025 03:45

I agree with you there but what I meant is, not every look is a leer. It's easy to misinterpret is all, especially if you are concerned about your child.

I'm sure the girl will be fine.

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No, I think women (and men) know the difference between a glance and leering. Theres no misinterpretation.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 04:07

NJLX2021 · 02/06/2025 03:15

Not to be rude to anyone.. but I'd take that over having an "unattractive" (horrible word, but still) daughter. Life and men are unfair, especially for women. The awful truth is that beautiful women have a huge advantage over ugly women in many aspects of life. Yes there are problems and you've listed the biggest one. But still, on balance, the awful society we live in gives these attractive girls a huge advantage over lesser looking girls.

Women is the word you used. Op is talking about a 16 year old.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 04:02

DoAWheelie · 02/06/2025 02:51

You find something to worry about no matter what your child is like. Every child is unique in some way that'll make the world harder (and also better). If it wasn't this you'd focus on something else. Try and just enjoy your child for who she is.

I think you missed the point. She’s talking about her daughter being perved on my older men…

crazeekat · 02/06/2025 03:59

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 02/06/2025 02:49

I wasn't beautiful, in fact I was very plain and ordinary, but I had really large breasts. From the age of 14 I had a huge amount of unwanted male attention including from men in their 30s and 40s.

U described me there. The perverts I had, would be babysitting and dads trying to pull covers back, another trying to get my clothes off. My dad’s pals all staring. I’m literally 13 years old. I managed to get out of the situations but hindsight, how lucky was I! Bunch of twisted fucks. Only scared I grassed on them. I don’t hate men I have a loving husband. I also now have a 13 year old and am shitting my pants thinking about how she will fare against the pervs and creeps. I hate to say it but it’s impossible to stop. Even jail doesn’t deter these sick fucks.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 03:56

Buxusmortus · 02/06/2025 03:02

At 16 she isn't strictly a child though( yes of course technically she is) and in 2 years is likely to be at university living away from you and your protection. She needs to learn how to deal with unwanted attention which she is bound to get.
Teach her to have the guts to tell men to fuck off if necessary.
My daughter ( now mid 30s)was and is beautiful( strange as none of the rest of my family are) and started to attract male attention at around 14/15. At 16 she was going to clubs and bars, would always get in free and never bought a drink apparently.
Unfortunately due to all the male attention, including older men in their 20s, she thought her beauty was the most important thing about herself and started to rely on getting that attention to boost her self esteem, rather than concentrating on her personality and abilities, and as a result became a rather shallow person obsessed by her appearance . She also found it hard to distinguish between genuine men compared to those who wanted her as a trophy on their arm.
As she is now mid 30s I can see the small inevitable early signs of ageing, although she is still very beautiful, and am sure she's had Botox, but she denies it( probably because she knows I would disapprove). I just hope she doesn't have more cosmetic work and end up with a face full of fillers in an attempt to try to get back what she thinks was her earlier perfection.

Your daughter doesn’t need your approval to what she does to her body. Maybe don’t be so judgemental and call her shallow.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 03:51

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 02/06/2025 02:51

My dd told me that men stare at her and her friend when out. Luckily they have a group of lad mates who call this out. I hope this means that the next generation will be better.

As pp said you have to teach your dd how to deal with these situations sadly.

Glad your dd has male friends that call this behaviour out. That’s what all men should be doing but sadly is not the case.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 02/06/2025 03:48

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 02/06/2025 02:49

I wasn't beautiful, in fact I was very plain and ordinary, but I had really large breasts. From the age of 14 I had a huge amount of unwanted male attention including from men in their 30s and 40s.

Sorry you had to deal with this. I know girls like you, that had large breasts at a young age and this happened to them. Disgusting behaviour. I on the other hand had very small breasts and it still happened to me. But can imagine you probably experienced this at a much younger age 😔

NJLX2021 · 02/06/2025 03:45

Velmy · 02/06/2025 03:37

I hate this attitude, I really do. It reeks of the worldview of someone who never got over not being one the the 'pretty' girls at school. Which, unless you're in the tiny minority of people pursuing a career where certain 'looks' are the only thing that matters, is the last time they did.

People are attracted to all sorts. And while there may still be situations in life where doors are 'opened' for the 'conventionally' attractive, the real winners among us get by via kicking them down 💪

Show quote history

I agree that it is horrible.. but it's also the truth. We can fight against it, but just like the reality of short vs tall men, rich vs poor kids etc. life is unfair in so many horrible ways.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try and fight against it, but I also think it needs to be pointed out to mum's like the op - that when they are worrying about their pretty daughter, actually on balance their daughter is in a lucky and privileged position amoing girls.

LBFseBrom · 02/06/2025 03:45

ShakeItLoose · 02/06/2025 03:11

*Not all men who notice a girl's looks are creepy, it's normal. Women do it too./

🙄 There is a huge difference between noticing and leering and generally being a perv. Women don’t really act like that.

I agree with you there but what I meant is, not every look is a leer. It's easy to misinterpret is all, especially if you are concerned about your child.

I'm sure the girl will be fine.

Velmy · 02/06/2025 03:37

NJLX2021 · 02/06/2025 03:15

Not to be rude to anyone.. but I'd take that over having an "unattractive" (horrible word, but still) daughter. Life and men are unfair, especially for women. The awful truth is that beautiful women have a huge advantage over ugly women in many aspects of life. Yes there are problems and you've listed the biggest one. But still, on balance, the awful society we live in gives these attractive girls a huge advantage over lesser looking girls.

I hate this attitude, I really do. It reeks of the worldview of someone who never got over not being one the the 'pretty' girls at school. Which, unless you're in the tiny minority of people pursuing a career where certain 'looks' are the only thing that matters, is the last time they did.

People are attracted to all sorts. And while there may still be situations in life where doors are 'opened' for the 'conventionally' attractive, the real winners among us get by via kicking them down 💪

Glitchymn1 · 02/06/2025 03:25

It’s stressful having a child these days full
stop.

I think the majority of men back off when you speak to them, or challenge their behaviour. Once they realise you are a real life person, with a personality and a brain, when you stare at them back- they don’t know what to do. The problem is having the confidence to do it, or if you are very young understanding why it’s happening. DD is pretty, she’s had people (men and women all ages) comment on her appearance. She’s very shy, shrinks away. Advocate for your child, don’t let people touch their face/hair. I don’t know why people think this is ok!
Ensure the child knows beauty fades, personality and education is far more important.