Parents in law obsession with arriving safely

That would be so annoying. Definitely stop answering.

Leave it to DH every time, he will find it annoying once you stop being available for at least half of the calls/texts as he will then get it all the time.

I have an aunt who uses this as a control tactic on her sons, it’s painful to see and just makes me grateful my own elderly mum is pragmatic and patient.

Worrying that something terrible has happened because people are 10 mins late IS irrational anxiety.

It’s not ‘irrational anxiety’ it’s care.

If nobody wants it, yes, that’s fine. It’s pretty cold to say you refuse to do it when others do like it.

What a bloody heartless attitude. One day you will be asking your children to tell them you are home safely and i hope they treat you with the same contempt you treat your family.
It takes seconds to send a text or call. I have travelled through 4 countries on journey of hundreds of miles with 3 children and still managed to call and say we are home safely so yes, you do have the time you just have a cold heart.

Nope their irrational anxiety is not my issue, it’s theirs to manage.

Don’t answer them. It’s this simple. Can’t control their behaviour but you can control your own.

My dad was worrying when we were travelling, not a big deal for me to send a quick text when arrived to say we've arrived safely, call you later

It’s not cold and nasty. It’s just not something it would ever occur to me or my family to do. We’re all adults and don’t worry about travelling. Like OP, I would find it strange and irritating if someone was constantly asking me to text my whereabouts. If it’s something your family does, fine. But it’s not something my family does so that IS fine too.

This texting after travelling is just so illogical. I always refuse to take part.

Why would you not want to reassure your loved ones? Only takes a moment. Isn't that rather unkind?

Not everything in life has to be logical. Sometimes it can be a little act of irrational care.

Framing this as ‘anxiety’ is where the issue is com8ng from. I like it when I get a message from DD to say she’s got to the end of a long journey, but I’m not anxious while she’s on the road/in the air. Often the message comes and I think ‘oh yes, it’s about the right time for that’ because I hadn’t given it another thought. It’s just a nice thing to do.
OP’s MiL phoning if they are later than expected by a small amount is OTT though.

I feel a little sad really. 2 mins to make a call/send a text to let parents know you are safe, is it really too much to ask? I did it when my parents were alive and somehow it's a bit lonely when there is that no-one to call anymore. I do also think you get more anxious when you get older. Maybe because you have seen more tragedies, more accidents and know it really can happen to anyone.

Now my daughter is an adult she insists we call her when we have done a long journey, so we have someone who cares enough again!!

I think it’s pretty obvious ‘how it works’. An unusual or longer journey - just send a text. Every day ones, don’t. It would be unhealthy anxiety if it was for every little trip, for longer ones it’s pretty normal.
I do it for my DD, she does it for me. I used to do it for my DPs when they were alive.
I’m also confused bailout these retirees with smaller lives who don’t get out so much…I’m out all the time!

Most accidents of any kind happen IN the home.
Do you text last thing at night to tell your parents that you haven't scalded yourself in the kitchen, or cut yourself with a knife, or fallen off a step ladder, or electrocuted yourself with a garden tool, or got bitten by the cat? That you are just as unscathed as when you woke up in the morning?

No, I thought not.

This texting after travelling is just so illogical.
I always refuse to take part.

It’s not a neutral act it’s bloody annoying. Pandering to unreasonable anxiety is not helpful - you shouldn’t need to change your behaviour, you are grown adults capable of getting yourselves around.

Love the fact that telling your mum you’re going away for the weekend is “over sharing”. No. Telling your mum you’re intending to spend the weekend shagging each other’s brains out is oversharing….

Imagine when your kids are older, will you not want to know if they are safe?
Oddly enough my kids are independently traveling round and one living away at uni - and I don't feel the need to constantly check on them or insit they text or phone to let me know they got there safely- we just assume everything is fine. At most we may get a whatsapp messgae next day off their own bat - but don't pester for reassurance.

Having been at end of ever tightening demands for reasurance from my parents - I wouldn't want to inflict that on them.

But then I think it's weird to track teen/adult family members and many on here see that as perfectly normal behavior.

I ask my (adult) kids to text me when they are safely home (long journeys not just popping out). I didn't realise it was a terrible thing to do... I just care!
My Mum still asks me to do the same, and I do, because it takes literally seconds to text and reassures her!
I think you are being a bit mean.

It's nice she cares, doesn't most people want to know if there family members have arrived safely?? I always check in if my family members are flying out somewhere that they got there OK. A quick message to say we are here , all OK, then you don't need to message much again. The phoning after 10 mins is excessive though and sounds annoying. Maybe you could say beforehand no need to worry or call if you don't hear from us straight away we might be busy with kids and we will be in touch later
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It's not an instruction, it's a thing people commonly say. Like take care, don't work too hard, have a nice day.

Or do you think they're instructions too?

You must've been beside yourself with rage during covid with everyone telling each other to 'stay safe'.

Just tell them you'll text when you get somewhere safely and then do that. It takes 2 seconds. Imagine when your kids are older, will you not want to know if they are safe? I always text my mum that I got somewhere - it's nice that people care!!