Parents in law obsession with arriving safely

Such cold, nasty responses on this thread . Not one of you , especially if you are the passenger, is too busy to text 'home x'.Not bloody one single one of you is too busy for that.

Because it feeds the monster.

It’s the curse of the mobile phone.

It used to be 'three rings' on the landline - dial the number, let it ring three times, and the person on the other end would know you had arrived home.

It doesn't hurt to send a text 'just got home' as you're turning into your street, does it? You can have it all ready to go and just hit 'send' as you get there.

i refuse. Stopped years ago, the police will be round if anything happens, other than that quit worrying. Sorry but it’s life and I’m not doing it.

My children are adults. When something good happened they would ring me and I'd say " make sure to text your grandad". He was so proud of them and loved the very bones of them. He's been gone for 8 years and it still catches me sometimes that they can never do that again. Texting people who love you is so simple and so small. But it's huge to them and , once they're gone, it's too late.

This would drive me nuts, i assume it's your husband telling them? Can you block notifications if they call you for a couple weeks so they either stop or start to pester him instead so that he considers telling them less detailed information about travel plans

I used to always let my Mum know I was safely home after visiting her, I live a few hours away. When I got home from her funeral and didn't need to make that call/send that message it hit me that no-one would worry, love and care for me in the same way ever again.

Oh dear. I ssk my friends to let me know they are home safe. She only lives 9 minutes away. I don't think she minds but will now chat to her about it. It never occurred to me that people would find this annoying.

It’s the curse of the mobile phone. For older people, who get more anxious, the mobile is another avenue to feed their anxiety with tracking / texts etc.

I'm like your MiL. After a tragic event close to us I like to be reassured my family have completed their journeys safely. I don't chase them. I don't need to as they're really great about messaging me. No doubt they'd prefer I wasn't anxious, for my sake, but they don't want me to worry.

I totally understand, I'd find it suffocating. Just refuse, why the obsession with bad stuff happening?

My mum died at the beginning of May. When I arrived home after being at her funeral it was really odd not calling her.

I called my brother.

Stop telling them when you go anywhere.
If you are travelling back from their house, just tell them you will text them the next day, when you have more time, and refuse to deviate from that.
Switch your phone off for a few hours!

One day your children will be riding motorbikes or travelling in cars with other teens where they , or someone equally young is driving. One day your children may have children of their own and drive long distances. Then you will understand. We have a family chat on watts app( my mum, me, my husband, my 2 children, 2 DILs, my 2 brothers and their wives). It takes seconds to type 'safely arrived. Wouldn't occur to me not to.

YABU They clearly care. My parents always check we get home safely after we've driven back from theirs (long distance). They will send a WhatsApp if they haven't heard from me yet. I think it's nice to let someone know you've got home safely after you've driven a long distance. So many accidents on the motorways, it's natural for family to worry.

Why can’t you just put her mind at rest?
It sounds very mean.

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

My mum is like this but less so these days as if she asks me to call her or text her to let her know I'm safe I say no.

Would you feel the same if it were your parents?

IMO you sound utterly ungrateful. Would you rather PIL who don't give 2 hoots about your wellbeing? If you got into an accident they might be your only hope.

Sorry for your loss 💛

I always text my mum it she is waiting to hear I’m safe. Me and my friends do the same.
i ask my kids to text me. They often forget. I track them. They don’t mind.

My mum used to be like this. I found it irritating at times.
I lost her last year……now nobody cares if we arrive safely or not.

I would be interested to know what you would class as a dangerous road?

just share your location on WhatsApp if you don’t want to take the call. Then they can see where you are for as long as you allow it on for. You can limit it to whatever time you like (an hour for example). I do this with my parents as they like to put the kettle on and get food ready etc for when we arrive. They just like being prepared and it’s just a click on my phone for me, so an easy win - they’re happy and I don’t have to do anything really.

Sorry, edited to say this applies when you are travelling to them. I didn’t realise it’s when you’re travelling anywhere. Why do you tell them where you are going all the time?!!