Page 8 | Cleaner threw away/moved/stole my secret booze stash

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 2025-06-01T20:29:02+00:00

I rarely drink, I haven’t since Dv was born and since Peri kicked in and made me ill, every time I did. Things have been stressful recently and Ive been having the odd drink on the balcony at sunset on my own. I usually don’t drink it all and usually put the remainder behind my bedroom patio shutters outside Anyway, I came to have some tonight and they’ve all gone, cleaners came yesterday so an assuming it’s them as they clean the patio area too Why would they do that?

Original poster

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:18

Barnbrack · 01/06/2025 22:15

To go from genuinely barely drinking to drinking twice a week in secret with a secret stash of warm cider to avoid anyone k.owinh in times of stress-thats problem drinking.

Can't you see that

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But why would that happen after 7 years of barely drinking? I think because I had some and realised it doesn’t seem to make me feel ill anymore, ive started to enjoy having a small drink again

OP posts:

Octonaut4Life · 01/06/2025 22:17

OP this is really not normal behaviour around alcohol. If you want to have the occasional cider that's fine. Hiding it on a balcony and insisting you don't really drink (except factually speaking you do and have been drinking regularly) and having your DH not even know about it is really disordered and most people would see it as concerning as you can tell from this thread.

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 22:17

ChocolateGanache · 01/06/2025 22:15

Oh for goodness sake! The op doesn’t want to drink in front of her kid. She’s not an alcoholic drinking a couple of small ciders a week. Leave her alone!

Edited

She certainly looks like one from where I’m sitting.

Butteredtoast55 · 01/06/2025 22:16

I completely get that sitting out enjoying a peaceful drink on a lovely evening is a treat and a pleasure. I also understand that you wouldn't want your child to see you if you were likely to be tipsy.
It's just the secretiveness and hiding things that feels strange. Your DC will need to navigate being exposed to alcohol at some point in the future so it's better that they see it as a normal thing you occasionally do rather than something illicit and literally hidden away.

ChocolateGanache · 01/06/2025 22:15

Oh for goodness sake! The op doesn’t want to drink in front of her kid. She’s not an alcoholic drinking a couple of small ciders a week. Leave her alone!

Barnbrack · 01/06/2025 22:15

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:02

Twice a week maybe, last 2/3 weeks

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To go from genuinely barely drinking to drinking twice a week in secret with a secret stash of warm cider to avoid anyone k.owinh in times of stress-thats problem drinking.

Can't you see that

PinkArt · 01/06/2025 22:14

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:07

I’m not drinking outside in secret, I sit there as it’s so peaceful to look out at sunset, I don’t want a glass of wine with dinner etc

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But you're hiding bottles out there. It's very normal to enjoy a glass of something in the evening, especially if you have a lovely view to enjoy with it. What would be normal though is to get the glass of whatever from the cupboard/ fridge/ mini bar, not hidden on the balcony for reasons you keep changing.
Hiding bottles is such a well known sign of a problem with alcohol, which is what people are trying to flag to you. It's understandable that your family history would affect your relationship with alcohol but at the very least you're in danger of passing on some messy thinking to your own daughter about it being an illicit thrill.

Original poster

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:14

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 22:11

But you are. You’re afraid your bloke’s going to snaffle your booze and you’re hiding it. That’s the absolute definition of disordered drinking. I live with a recovering alcoholic, it’s all too familiar.

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Because if he does I cba going to the shop for more, just like I hide a bag of nachos for myself in a cupboard or chocolate as a treat. I have to as it gets eaten in my house, it’s nothing sinister

OP posts:

recipientofraspberries · 01/06/2025 22:13

Just ask your cleaner if she happened to see any small Somersby bottles and see what she says. I can't see that she would have snatched a small bottle of cider to have for herself so either your cleaner doesn't have anything to do with it, or she just put them in the bin. She might have been preoccupied and not though to put the full bottle in the fridge.

Also she possibly thought she shouldn't put it in the fridge if she's never seen alcohol in there before, but didn't want to leave it out there untidily.

cestlavielife · 01/06/2025 22:13

Ask politely if they tidied them away some place? You are making a leap to accuse them

TwattyMcFuckFace · 01/06/2025 22:12

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:09

That’s what I thought? Maybe chuck the half open one away, but not the unopened one

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You've said part of the reason you don't keep it in the fridge is to stop your DH from taking it.

So it looks like you need to find another hiding place?

Either way, we're heading into Summer and it's going to be like drinking bathwater soon.

JemimaPiddlepot · 01/06/2025 22:12

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 22:07

True.

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Ridiculous.

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 22:11

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:07

I’m not drinking outside in secret, I sit there as it’s so peaceful to look out at sunset, I don’t want a glass of wine with dinner etc

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But you are. You’re afraid your bloke’s going to snaffle your booze and you’re hiding it. That’s the absolute definition of disordered drinking. I live with a recovering alcoholic, it’s all too familiar.

Original poster

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:11

Butteredtoast55 · 01/06/2025 22:08

I would say I 'barely drink' as I have a glass at Christmas and on New Years Eve, and maybe as a toast at a wedding. I don't have occasional drinks every day or two and hide the bottles behind patio shutters. You seem to think other people are downing a bottle a night, but that's the exception not the norm.
I think your DH has found them and moved them, possibly concerned you are drinking more than you say you are. I assume he knows you like to pop out to have a drink outside, alone?

Edited

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Its only the last couple of weeks, I drank similar to your pattern before. Dh doesn’t know I don’t think as it’s just my quiet time if it’s his turn for Dds bedtime

OP posts:

Matronic6 · 01/06/2025 22:11

If I saw small bottles outside especially with one opened, I would assume they were rubbish.

Annascaul · 01/06/2025 22:11

JemimaPiddlepot · 01/06/2025 22:10

This is insane. OP does not need an armchair diagnosis from someone who knows nothing about her!

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What she’s posting makes the issue quite clear.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 01/06/2025 22:11

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:07

I’m not drinking outside in secret, I sit there as it’s so peaceful to look out at sunset, I don’t want a glass of wine with dinner etc

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You’ve literally called it your secret booze stash in your title, but whatever. And can see from your later update that your DH probably doesn’t know, as it just happens to correspond with him doing bedtime. But not secret.

Drinking warm, half opened bottles of drink hidden behind your shutters alone is totally normal.

JemimaPiddlepot · 01/06/2025 22:10

AzureShark · 01/06/2025 21:58

Because it looked like discarded old drinks. One half empty but one full small bottle of cider, tucked away and forgotten about on the balcony and clearly rubbish. No wonder the cleaner just cleared them out.

That's what anyone would think because hiding small cider bottles outside on your balcony is just fucking odd and not what people do.

You have significant issues with alcohol op and extremely disordered thinking about it. Your actions aren't normal. Stop drinking entirely and get therapy.

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This is insane. OP does not need an armchair diagnosis from someone who knows nothing about her!

Original poster

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:09

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 01/06/2025 22:07

But surely you'd put them in the kitchen or something. Not take it upon yourself to dispose of them??

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That’s what I thought? Maybe chuck the half open one away, but not the unopened one

OP posts:

Butteredtoast55 · 01/06/2025 22:08

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 21:42

As I said, only recently and it’s every few days, one bottle if that, compared to everyone I know that is barely drinking, its also a very low alcohol and small bottle, I haven’t had wine, spirits, beer etc for 7 or so years

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I would say I 'barely drink' as I have a glass at Christmas and on New Years Eve, and maybe as a toast at a wedding. I don't have occasional drinks every day or two and hide the bottles behind patio shutters. You seem to think other people are downing a bottle a night, but that's the exception not the norm.
I think your DH has found them and moved them, possibly concerned you are drinking more than you say you are. I assume he knows you like to pop out to have a drink outside, alone?

Annascaul · 01/06/2025 22:08

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 21:51

It’s to hide from Dd, ive said this. Pre Dd we just had wine/beer in the fridge like normal people. Its also because I sit up there, so Dh doesn’t pinch it etc

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Make up your mind, op 🙄
Do you hide your alcohol because your child would be scarred by the mere sight of the bottle sitting in the fridge, or because your DH would “pinch” it?
Or something else entirely that you’re in complete denial about? My money’s on the last one.

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 01/06/2025 22:07

Gattopardo · 01/06/2025 21:38

Yeah they’re in a non standard place. I work as a cleaner sometimes and if I found bottles outside I’d definitely presume they’d been left there by accident/ because of untidiness. And remove them.

Your cleaner may also think you are an alcoholic and not know what to do with the empties and full ones.

Either way, keep them in your fridge, job done.

But surely you'd put them in the kitchen or something. Not take it upon yourself to dispose of them??

Original poster

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:07

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 01/06/2025 22:03

The drinking outside in secret and hiding the bottles is far more worrisome than a 6yo seeing their parent have a glass of wine with dinner in front of them. Your past has understandably given you issues.

I’m not drinking outside in secret, I sit there as it’s so peaceful to look out at sunset, I don’t want a glass of wine with dinner etc

OP posts:

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 22:07

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:01

Harsh.

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True.

Moonnstars · 01/06/2025 22:06

Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected · 01/06/2025 22:04

No of course not, but seeing me sat drinking alone..I know she wouldn’t be traumatised by that, I just don’t like it somehow

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But doing it in secret is worse and makes it seem like something to be hidden.
As I said before you need to normalise it. You are an adult, you are allowed to drink an alcoholic drink.

It does sound like you need counselling to get over the issues from your past surrounding alcohol, so maybe try and arrange this.