Cleaner threw away/moved/stole my secret booze stash

find a different hiding place
and why more than one bottle?

@Velmy I agree with this. I had to look up what Somersby is - very small bottles of cider.

It's hardly a major crime for anyone to bin them. Understandable the cleaner (?) got rid of them or possibly one had fallen over and spilt etc.

And yes - I would keep them in the fridge, as cider is always better chilled. Same goes for beer (obvs)

She is not drinking every day, she is drinking twice per week (and, seemingly, not even a full somersby's bottle each time). She's having about 2.5 units, weekly.

While she clearly has some hang-ups about drinking alcohol at home, she could increase her drinking 5-fold and remain under the reccomended 14 unit weekly cap. Implying that she's an alcoholic is daft and unhelpful.

I think maybe your Dad's alcoholism has left you with odd ideas about alcohol. It's normal for people to have a bottle of wine in their fridge. It's not normal for people to hide alcohol on patio behind shutters/doors. It's not normal to be secretive about having a glass of wine. You need to normalise your behaviour around alcohol or else your DD will grow up thinking it's normal to hide wine on the patio. Cleaner probably thought they were done with if not refrigerated. I would think secretive drinking is one of first signs of being an alcoholic so I'd watch yourself and keep wine in fridge. You still don't have to drink in front of your DD if you don't want to. because you are the adult and in control.

Just buy alcohol and put it in your fridge or kitchen cupboard. It's ok to have it in the house if you aren't an alcoholic. I've got an entire drinks cabinet and only have a couple of g&ts a week.

OP, just a thought in answer to your question.
I noticed your user name and wondered if you have lived ….or are actually living in Dubai, a Muslim country with Sharia law and stricter attitudes to alcohol drinking which could have influenced your thinking on not drinking in front of your daughter? If so, it’s possible your cleaner thought it best to remove evidence of drinking alcohol.

Just to get rid of them, surely cleaners always do that.

This is really sad :( OP, not having alcohol in the house doesn't mean stashing it outside. Please get some help x

Sorry, we're talking about one opened, and one unopened small bottle of cider, left out in plain sight here?

Your cleaner probably thought they were rubbish and binned them... we're hardly talking bottles of the good stuff hidden away here are we?

When you protest so much there's a problem, when you hide it outside there's a problem so stop fooling yourself. Maybe the cleaner was cleaning outside and dumped them thinking they were lying there who knows but the cleaner isn't the problem 😞

Nobody said it was about me. I’m just stating plain and simple facts - that armchair diagnoses from people with minimal information aren’t helpful.

You’re kind of doing that yourself, from the other direction.

The “Stop pretending you’re an expert when you’re just someone with a phone and time on your hands” nerve.

I agree with others OP that this is not healthy.
You have a family history of alcoholism.
You've gone from drinking a handful of times per year to drinking 2-3 times per week.
You drink alone and in secret.
You hide the alcohol and the empties.
You don’t want your daughter to see you having a civilised glass of wine with a meal, but you risk her finding you alone on the terrace drinking cider furtively.
You continue to maintain that you “barely drink”, when in fact you’re now drinking quite often.
You continue to claim that you don’t have alcohol in the house, when you patently do.

If I were you I’d stop completely and go back to how you were, because otherwise it looks as if this is just going in one direction.

You’re protesting too much, @JemimaPiddlepot
The thread isn’t even about you.

Oh FFS.

Ah, the good old “Well it happened to my friend so it must be true” school of diagnostics.

exactly. Im very concerned for OP

That right there is an unhealthy relationship with alcohol

WOW Op your deluding yourself and have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Your drinking everyday. That is a problem with your attitude as you think because your hiding it it isn't an issue. Also your looking to it to relax you. I would suggest some therapy.

Drinking clandestine (warm?) cider kept outdoors is bizarre. It's either very disordered or very student-y. If you don't drink to excess, just keep it in a back of a cupboard and then when you plan to have a drink move them into the freezer for an hour or two. Or buy alcohol free or cordial instead if you drink to excess.

They’ve probably just moved them. Behind patio shutters on a balcony is not where bottles are kept so they’ve probably just popped them somewhere that people normally keep alcohol. Like when my cleaner comes, if there’s a sofa cushion on the floor she will put it back on the sofa rather than think “oh this sofa cushion must be being kept here for inexplicable childhood based psychodrama reason so I will leave it.”

Have a good root around the kitchen I am sure you will find it.

Are they new cleaners?
I’d tell them that you had some bottles of alcohol there and ask where they moved it as you can’t find it. This way you’re not putting any blame on them or accusing them of taking it, but asking them what they know.

You pay your cleaner to clean up after you, so that's what they've done, thinking they were left out there after a party or somesuch. Or maybe it was DH. If you don't want this to happen, then tell them you want your special bottles, empty or full, to stay on the balcony. Or, tidy them away yourself. I expect the full one has been sensibly relocated into a fridge, cupboard, or wine rack.

PS @Dubaichocisbetterthanexpected I would really suggest you seek out a local chapter of Al-Anon Family Groups. They are focused on helping people who've been impacted by a family member or friend who suffered from alcoholism, and do amazing work. You've had a lot of difficult stuff to deal with in your family on this front and you deserve support to work through it. It's a lot to process alone.