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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH wants to trim my hedge

142 replies

FridayNeverHesitate · 01/06/2025 21:15

We live on a quiet country lane, with a field and a pond on the other side of the lane. Our house has a small front garden (three or four metres long) and a hornbeam hedge (which is about 160 cm tall) between us and the lane. Our kitchen looks out onto the front garden.

DH is keen to halve the height of the hedge, the better to enjoy the view of the field and the pond. I would like to keep it at its current height, partly because I think a taller hedge is better for wildlife, but also because I think it provides more privacy. DH isn't especially interested in wildlife, and argues that as it's a quiet road, we don't require privacy from the hedge. However, I WFH in the kitchen and I think there's quite a few passers-by. There is one house further down the lane, so they walk past; their cleaner passes our house; delivery drivers (they get a lot of deliveries). Then there's the postman, and quite a lot of random walkers and cyclists.

DH can enjoy the view from his study, which is above the kitchen and has a clear view of the field and pond. I want to enjoy privacy in the kitchen, which is effectively my study and where I spend most of my time. He claims it's a family room so he deserves a say in the view too, but in reality he spends very little time in the kitchen (only really making tea and eating supper).

OP posts:
LimeLime · 01/06/2025 22:35

He should keep his hands off your hedge, sitting in a goldfish bowl is no fun at all, my daughter had the same problem until her yew hedge got to six feet tall, now no one can look in it's much nicer in her lounge. She has a shorter hedge in front of her kitchen window as she only cooks in there and doesn't work or eat there.

Also the hedge is alive with sparrows nesting this time of year so should not be touched until everyone has fledged.

Icanttakethisanymore · 01/06/2025 22:34

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

Yep 😂

threenaancurrywhore · 01/06/2025 22:28

Your husband needs to keep his hands off your hornbeam, OP

Fluffypussycat · 01/06/2025 22:24

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

Yes, the title suggested we were in for a giggle, but alas no. 🤣

Sherararara · 01/06/2025 22:22

FalseSpring · 01/06/2025 21:49

There is a general ban on hedge cutting until 31st August so just tell him he is not allowed to cut a hedge now because of nesting birds. Hopefully by September he will have forgotten about it.

No there isn’t. You can cut the hedge as long as you establish there are no nesting birds first.

Ddakji · 01/06/2025 22:21

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 01/06/2025 22:07

Can you trim it a bit so he can look out but it's not leaving the windows fully exposed?

🤣🤣🤣

GabriellaMontez · 01/06/2025 22:18

Is there any scope to have a 2 level hedge?

OnARainyDay2012 · 01/06/2025 22:16

It's peak bird nesting season at the moment so recommended not to cut hedges between Feb and August. I agree it should be your decision in any case!

Mischance · 01/06/2025 22:10

He can't cut at this time of year cos of birds nesting.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 01/06/2025 22:09

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 01/06/2025 22:07

Can you trim it a bit so he can look out but it's not leaving the windows fully exposed?

I don't know if you meant this to be funny but it really is 🤣🤣🤣

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 01/06/2025 22:07

Can you trim it a bit so he can look out but it's not leaving the windows fully exposed?

aliceinawonderland · 01/06/2025 22:04

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

😂

DolefullySingingMotherfucka · 01/06/2025 22:03

Cut the hedge and get shade blinds or privacy film for the kitchen windows.

smartarsey · 01/06/2025 22:02

FalseSpring · 01/06/2025 21:49

There is a general ban on hedge cutting until 31st August so just tell him he is not allowed to cut a hedge now because of nesting birds. Hopefully by September he will have forgotten about it.

That’s such a boring reply,given the title 😂

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 22:01

Ddakji · 01/06/2025 21:47

Excellent thread title.

Don’t really care about your hornbeam hedge but probably YANBU.

😭 same I'm sure you're in the right girl, but I came for the suggestive title

ForZanyAquaViewer · 01/06/2025 21:56

I thought this thread was going to be…about something else. 👀

FalseSpring · 01/06/2025 21:49

There is a general ban on hedge cutting until 31st August so just tell him he is not allowed to cut a hedge now because of nesting birds. Hopefully by September he will have forgotten about it.

Indianajet · 01/06/2025 21:48

I don't think hedges should be cut at this time of year, due to birds nesting?

Ddakji · 01/06/2025 21:47

Excellent thread title.

Don’t really care about your hornbeam hedge but probably YANBU.

Trovindia · 01/06/2025 21:45

kary42 · 01/06/2025 21:20

Tell him he can cut the hedge if he is prepared to swap his study with you for the kitchen.

This would be my suggestion too.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/06/2025 21:45

YANBU if you're the one who uses the room most and want privacy, and he still gets the view from the floor above, then you should absolutely insist it stays as is. At most I would allow would be 10cm in height down but that would be it. I wouldn't want eyes looking in at my unwashed dishes or watching me at the kitchen sink, or eating at the table. He can bugger off.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 01/06/2025 21:41

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 01/06/2025 21:23

Well this is not the thread I thought it was!

Not just me then. I thought it would be about the lady garden 😆

WorkCleanRepeat · 01/06/2025 21:40

kary42 · 01/06/2025 21:20

Tell him he can cut the hedge if he is prepared to swap his study with you for the kitchen.

This! If he wants to cut the hedge he works from the kitchen.

parietal · 01/06/2025 21:39

cut a window in the hedge so he gets a view but the rest of the hedge is high. and then let it grow back to higher next year.

Gingercar · 01/06/2025 21:36

My husband and i squabble over whether to cut our hedge or not. He likes the privacy, I like the view and think the kitchen is dark when it’s high. I think part of it for my husband is that he ends up cutting it!

We’re moving soon, so it won’t be an issue.