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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New GF taking the piss?

207 replies

Vaglodger · 01/06/2025 20:30

I’ve NC as I’ve recently posted a thread and it may be outing if the two are linked.

new relationship, 10 months in, nobody is happy for me. FWIW I’m in a WLW relationship and feel this has influenced my families opinions HOWEVER

I am starting to feel like an absolute doormat. GF likely has undiagnosed MH conditions suspected bipolar and/or autism. Her moods are uncontrollable and she’s extremely reactive. Not violent, but sulky, depressed, suicidal ideology, cold, stroppy, shouts huffs puffs etc.

she doesn’t work. I’m “well off” supposedly, and she comes from a tough background. I pay for everything. She says she can’t get on her feet and get a job as MH too much. I’m taking her on holiday in August. She lives in my home when DC are with ex. She’s on benefits so has to make that stretch. Doesn’t pay for any dates, outings, food shop etc. I can recall 4 times where she’s contributed to something.

she says I have a bad attitude (I don’t believe I do but it could be possible I suppose), thinks I lie about absolutely trivial things and when we talk it through admits she’s paranoid.

if she has a bad day, I can’t have one for a while otherwise we “don’t work” and it’s “too much”. Whereas my bad day just consists of me not being super enthusiastic and/or cooking 3 meals a day for her and I’ll opt for a takeout. Her bad day is everybody in her path gets some kind of attitude or criticism and she tells me she sees no point in life.

she won’t support me through anything difficult and says it’s not her circus not her monkeys, this can range from anything really. However alls I do is support her, offer job opportunities, therapy, take her out if she’s low, gifts etc.

She doesn’t do much around the house as far as cleaning. Or much for me in general unless ask for help. She’s said in the past I should ask instead of expecting her to know. I find it quite rude for me to be doing HER washing, cooking, ironing, putting away, breakfast in bed etc while she lies in bed until midday and then if I ask her to take the dog for a quick walk or help clean up it’s an issue and “she needs to relax”

reason for the thread is she’s fallen out with me today as she said having exdp in my life (as in, our children’s lives) is too much and she really dislikes him and won’t have him infringing on our relationship so it needs to change (we only communicate about dc or joint admin). I’m starting to think wtf do I get out of the relationship anyway?

I know this comes off as I don’t like her very much, but I do. She’s very funny, i don’t believe she’s a bad person, she’s incredibly good looking and sex is amazing.

obviously she’s not met dc.

people close to me keep saying wtf am I doing but I cant help but want to make it work. I really struggle with endings. In my heart I know what I should do but it seems impossible.

i just needed to vent I suppose, I feel completely disrespected, undervalued (she says she does but she’s not good with words) and taken for a fool

OP posts:
Springadorable · 01/06/2025 20:35

Why are you with her? How does she enhance your life?

Vaglodger · 01/06/2025 20:34

If history is anything to go off, I’ll now get the silent treatment for days and no apology just a “let’s forget about it”.

theres so much more to it - red flag wise - I KNOW its not good but I just can’t seem to get a grip of myself and I’m holding out hope for her potential, which could be great if she’d get a hold of herself

OP posts:
Depte · 01/06/2025 20:34

You pay for “everything”

money that could go towards your DC, saving for them. Not an unhinged girlfriend you have known for less than a year

Ahsheeit · 01/06/2025 20:34

Oh get shot of her. She's leeching off you and not bringing anything to the table. You can do so much better than this.

WhyArePiratesCalledPiratessss · 01/06/2025 20:34

Let this one go.
She isn't the one.

Depte · 01/06/2025 20:33

Your children have absolutely no contact with this person, ever?

BurningMrs · 01/06/2025 20:33

Don’t be daft, of course this can’t continue. I’d put £100 on this person actively ruining your life.

Get out now while you can. You’ll look back and wish you did.