Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do people only associate with others like themselves

107 replies

FedupofArsenalgame · 01/06/2025 16:50

After reading the 49 year old who was asked if she was a grandparent I noticed that many people state the don't know anyone in their " social circle" who would be. It's got me thinking whether people only keep social circles with the same " type" ?

For example all MC in professional jobs, or sahm etc etc etc

Thinking of a group of 6 of us women who socialize regularly we have a hairdresser, a barrister, a " lady who lunches" a delivery driver, payroll clerk and someone on disability benefits.

So completely different to each other. As far as kids are concerned 3 are child free, 2 have 3 adult children and grandchildren, and another has one adult child.

Seems we all get a varying view of others lives but is this unusual? Rather than sticking strictly to our own " type"

OP posts:
SomersetBrie · 01/06/2025 17:20

People might have certain red lines that they only want to associate with people on one side of those.
I'd have no problems with any of the people in your OP, but I wouldn't want to be friends with drug dealers (however small time) or indeed any criminal activities.

It's an interesting question, OP, and I am going to think about whether I have any "red lines" besides criminal ones.

latetothefisting · 01/06/2025 17:12

I think a lot of people do.
People on here are always saying "Nobody in my circle would ever (x)" or "I don't know anyone who (x)"
and it's usually something comparatively normal like go on holiday alone or earn less than £30k/more than £80k

Tbh I always think 'how do you know?' more than "wow you must have a limited circle" because they're such random things I can't imagine them coming up in conversation enough to make a definitive statement about "everyone" you know. Often I couldn't say definitively about my sister or best friend, let alone "everyone".

It is a bit odd though. Even if they have no other interaction at all, and have homogenous friendship groups (or are one of the completely friendless people who seem overrepresented on MN), you'd think most working people will have a good variety of acquaintances with different experiences to theirs - apart from very tiny workplaces surely in most there are a mix of ages, opinions and wages, race and backgrounds? Even if your colleagues aren't your best friends, you still spend 8 hours a day with them, enough to be aware that a lot of people think very differently to you?

Boredlass · 01/06/2025 17:03

No. I refuse to live in an echo chamber

FedupofArsenalgame · 01/06/2025 17:02

IfYouDontBelieveIt · 01/06/2025 17:00

Where did you all meet? Presumably you have something in common.

Live in the same town.

OP posts:
IfYouDontBelieveIt · 01/06/2025 17:00

Where did you all meet? Presumably you have something in common.

FutureCatMum · 01/06/2025 16:56

No, my friendship groups are very diverse. That’s what makes life interesting.

Catinthereallysmallhat · 01/06/2025 16:54

I’m younger than the Op from the other post but I mix with many different circles. Women older and younger than me, different backgrounds, races and religions, kids and no kids and different levels of education. This is very common for people in my circle too. Could it be a generation thing? I don’t know. But I find the people that do mix with a wider circle of friends are less narrow minded in their views. Should say in my closest social circle we are all very different too.