Do people only associate with others like themselves

And I didn't say that they did.
When op was asked how they met, she said they live invthe same town

Depends on where they meet. You're not going to make friends in the cab, but might support same football team, might have kids in the same school, be on a darts teams together, enjoy mountain biking.
They might even have been to university together.

I was pretty working class and went to university.

In fact, that in itself influenced which university I went to. Almost 30 years ago I visited one where there were tickets for a ball being advertised for £100 each. Almost solely on that basis, I chose not to go there, because I knew I couldn't fit in with that.

Did go to a good 'RG' uni though. And my social circle was VERY limited. I didn't have a ski chalet, I'd never done a year out or a ski season, hadn't gone to a school that anyone knew of, had never played sport at county level. I couldn't afford to go to the cool new nightclubs in town or join in with the expensive extracurriculars, my working class family didn't have any of the connections / knowledge / language and behaviours needed for me to be ready, willing and able to socialise with people outside of my own social class really. A lot of people thought that working in a supermarket every waking moment during the uni holidays, wearing supermaket clothes, and coming from where I did, was pretty dull and boring, and totally unaspirational.

When I came back to my hometown and had DC I didn't fit in then either. A lot of the parents at the school gate seemed interested literally only in football, tattoos, holidays, nails, and what expensive day out they were going to take their family on next. No adults were into hobbies other than drinking, any sports at all other than football, and women having an opinon on anything other than whether they were going to be able to get hold of the most desirable kits Christmas present that year was completely unheard of.

I eventually did find a group of people who had a bit more education, were a bit more ambitious for their kids, and had more interesting and varied lives themselves. And I took up a team sport too, and made great friends through that.

And I take friends as they find them - I don't collect people and score them on the diversity that they bring to my social circle!

This is a big part of it. I would struggle to socialise with many of my friends I grew up with now. Even with my family I live a very different life to most of them.

I used to have a wide group of friends and mix with anyone but now I'm older I really can't be arsed with people who hold very different views to mine. For example, I really couldn't be bothered with someone that voted for Brexit or Reform or who thought that men can be women. But then, I'm old now. I just haven't got the energy to listen to or politely acknowledge their (in my view) fucking nonesense. I'd rather not spend my remaining years with raised blood pressure quite frankly.

Wonder what the percentage of their social circle is white? I’m guessing it’s 100%

Out of interest - is your town quite small? I only ask because I think in small towns and villages, you often get more mixed social groups because there are fewer places to congregate and fewer people to choose from, and you bump into the same people more often.

Whenever I travel to really tiny and isolated places, eg the smaller islands in the Western Isles or Orkney/Shetland, I always notice that you’ll see really young people barely out of their teens out for a pint with people in their 60s, which you don’t often see elsewhere.

They arent saying they are friends with everyone and have met them all.

There’s logistical reasons too. People on council estates and on benefits wouldn’t be able to socialise in the same way that someone on 6 futures would. I noticed this when I had a mix of WC and MC friends, MC friends always wanted to meet up out in the fresh air and would usually buy a coffee and pastry, whilst my WC mates were much happier in their own houses or at mine. This could just be them though, and may not apply to all.

Look at the comments from the post op was talking about. Very snobby and classiest. So yes, they would be very surprised.

But how did you meet?
I live in the same town as thousands of people but I haven't met them all and made friends with them.
There is a piece of information missing!

It’s probably true. I don’t have a single friend who went to private school so a lot of MN seems like a whole other world. To me private school is a big deal and a marker that someone is very posh/privileged so it’s funny to see it discussed so casually.

Most of my friends are also similar age and point in life as me as well.

Not at all. How boring that would be!

Well said! Some outright ignorance on this thread. Apparently only affluent South of the country areas have predominantly women in their 30s, having dcs. 😂

I don't think you are being unreasonable per se but it is unusual (and probably a good thing) that you have such a mixed bag of friends

They would?

I will take your word for it.

I have friends from: school, university, work and former jobs, kids at the same school, running club. All of those places are/ were fairly economically homogenous and so, with a few exceptions, are my friends. The one place that I go that is much more varied is church.

That’s the point - barrister and bin man would represent a broad range of jobs and social class. Whereas ‘finance, public sector and charity’ are all very similar. @Comedycook wasn’t saying it’s common or easy for barristers and bin men to be mates, just that this would count as a broad range whereas the ones listed really don’t.

I think a lot of people like to tell themselves that they have a really broad social circle but mostly people don’t, not on any meaningful level anyway.

Often people have superficial passing connections with people very different from them, but not many people have a hugely diverse range of very close friends that they regularly socialise with, especially where class comes into it.

Obviously there are always exceptions though.

I’ll rephrase: middle class people would be amazed at how many working class people go to university.

???

As I was one of them I would not be.

I mean my upbringing (working/underclass) and my life now (incredibly middle class) and my circle now and youth are very different.

So 49 year old grandmothers don’t shock me as much as others.

My mom was 18 when she had me and at school the “oldest” mom was one who started in her late 20s. Post uni and doing my accountancy practice all my colleagues were baffled by my parents being in their 40s

I can't imagine people that are buying 1.3million pound homes are friends with the local Uber driver.

It's not something that I set out to do but honestly yes, my friends do tend to be fairly similar to me. The only way any of my immediate friends are going to become 49 year old grandparents would be one of their kids becoming a teenage parent.

I don't have a big circle of friends, but yes, I tend to gravitate towards people I have quite a lot in common with. They don't necessarily have the same views about everything, so it's not really an eco chamber imo.

I think about this too. My friends are all a messy group of fellow skint, single parents, some aren’t working, some are on benefits, some are ND and struggle with leaving the house or their MH.
What bonds us together is the constant firefighting and the feeling that we’re sort of always on the brink of meltdown.
My sister meanwhile seems to have all settled friends, none of them are single parents, their lives are all weddings, holidays and ‘making memories’. We had similar upbringings and education, so I’m curious about when our social circles changed so much.
I would feel completely overwhelmed amongst her friends and their lives are so different to mine. She would probably have a headache after spending a day with mine!

All of my closest friends were met either at university, work (I'm a teacher), friends of friends, or NCT/ baby groups. So I think by its nature my friendship group definitely skews female and middle class...