Shouldn’t have asked him to change the nappy?

I'm shocked by your db behaviour...why isn't he changing his children's nappy ..what century does he think he live in.

Another poor kid saddled with a useless selfish fucker of a father.

Men who can’t or won’t do basic care for their children are shit. I bet he’s shit in all sorts of other ways too.

Your dad knows that, correct?

Why are you with this arsehole?

what do you get out of this relationship?

A man changing a nappy should be as unremarkable as a woman changing a nappy.

And it’s fucking depressing that this still needs to be said, and that so many useless men try to convince women otherwise.

"If you ever got in a relationship with anyone else you would see how good I actually am".

This man has red flags coming out of his ears. No, it is not normal to react that way when asked to change your own child's nappy. Parents should work as a team. You owe yourself and your kids a better life than this.

Well I never. I always thought it meant you were out of luck until now.

If a child's nappy needs changing and the child has two able-bodied parents, then they should both be doing half the changes. You don't need to have a vagina to change a nappy. Honestly his behaviour seems disgraceful and it sounds like your dad has a point. My husband did half the nappy changes and he certainly didn't need asking to do it!

Good God. Another pathetic male who finds the labour of a 5 min nappy change a complete crisis and a reason to have a completely illogical tantrum. I can imagine him in Ibiza with his Kevin and Perry bucket hat and general infantile ineptitude. How do these useless specimen attract women to breed with them? And pander to them? Baffling.

“Lucked out” means to have good luck. She was saying that he’s lucky to have a wife that is so permissive about his shit behaviour.

‘if you ever got in a relationship with anyone else you would see how good I actually am’

To me that would be a reason to stay single not settle for rubbish.

he always feeds me the whole ‘if you ever got in a relationship with anyone else you would see how good I actually am’

A shit man is still a shit man no matter how many shittier men there are.

OP - you are with a very shit man. Not just a little bit bit but a lot. Don't raise children with those types of men as their shittiness ALWAYS ends up aimed at the children especially once they reach teen years. Get rid and breathe some fresh air.

What did he do to lead to your dad stopping him coming on holiday? I'm guessing something abusive. This post makes him sound like an awful controlling and emotionally abusive man.
Of course he should have changed his nappy, you shouldn't have to even ask. He also should have been taking the children when he got back from a holiday with his mates after you'd been doing all the parenting. Your not lucky he got a take away, buying a take away for his family is no grand gesture. I'm pretty confident you could find a man much better. Yes there will be some worse than him, but the vast majority will be better.

Also I think there is something missing. For your dad to ban your partner from the holiday I doubt it was a “small disagreement.”

I would have put this one out for Friday’s bin collection years ago.

He is very lucky to be with you.

How did you feel on holiday OP? Did you miss DP or was it more fun and relaxing without him there?

You are right in the sense that you’re not gonna get with somebody else who’s then going to change your Son’s nappy and I wouldn’t think you would want them to either.
Is he likely to want to see the children and pay for them if you split up? Only you can answer that
Sometimes it is better to keep them under your roof where at least they’re doing something to contribute as opposed to on permanent vendors in Ibiza doing nothing

I would ask him why he considers the bare basics of parenting his own child to be a punishment, yet is happy for you to have to do it all? If changing a nappy is a punishment, you must be guilty of wrongdoings on a cosmic level!

Of course it's normal for dad's to change nappies. My husband changes way more nappies than me. He also cleans out almost 100% of the poop from nappies (we cloth), because he does it whilst I'm feeding little one to sleep. He never needs to be asked. He just does it.

It shouldn't be "now and again", it should be any time they need changing when dad is in the best position to change them.

Please don't enable his lazy behaviour or listen to his, perhaps abusive, nonsense that he is amazing. He isn't. Any man that spouts that rubbish is never that good.

I hope you are on very good birth control. I won't advise you to leave him but start getting back to work if you don't work. Get yourself a career so you are not fully reliant on him. Don't have any more children under any circumstances. I hope you listen

@Hmewoods
I'm so sorry for you my dear girl. Dump the lazy shit and get on with your life. Be happy without him.

Here's how that conversation should have gone:
DP: checks nappy for himself and finds out it needs changing I'm just going to change this.
You shouldn't even need to ask him OP, he should just be doing this off his own bat.

Your Dad sees this useless man much clearer than you do op.
I'd go with your dad's opinion and leave this waste of space behind.

You need to raise your standards and pick a better life partner. What’s this man teaching your daughter?

He probably did