To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

I hadn't thought about it before, but 20+ of my daughter's friends, partied at my house monthly for ages. Was supposed to be shared among all the parent's homes, but that never happened.
Apart from covering one precious table, I took no precautions yet nothing was ever damaged. Not the cream sofas, table lamps, nothing.
Strange how one person can cause three lots of damage.

No idea - what does your DH think about latest incident?

My MIL used to insist on washing my clothes - which often felt odd and often tried to decline - and every time ruined them in a different way.

Upshot I always said firm no and hid my washing - even DH notice her odd behavior in end though took long time for him to admit - and fact it never affected his or the kids clothes. TBH though haven't been up since we got the cats so avoid the issue altogether now.

Made me think of Horrible Grandma too!

She sounds psychotic.

She wasn’t worth the effort. This was quite sometime ago whilst I will still willing to give her a chance. I haven’t had anything to do with her for about fifteen years, she lost it all when she tried to play the grandchildren off against one another.

She sounds unhinged.

Firstly she clearly didn't knock something from a high shelf by brushing it with her elbow.

Secondly, a normal MIL, having had an accident like that would have been very apologetic and upset about having done that. My MIL would have cried.

How the fuck can she break a vacuum and delete all your saved shows? This is sounding malicious.

Genius!

I'd be setting up a recently completed jigsaw and a hidden camera and trap the cow!

I think you need a lie down and a biscuit. Unless she is mental which is a possibility.

She should offer to replace it. If she doesn't offer, then your husband needs to ask her to replace it.

Indeed it is.

Now my MIL is a saint on earth, but earth has 7 billion and rising people on it. Some of those people are spiteful and vindictive, and spiteful, vindictive people have families too!

Omg! Did you confront?

Unless she’s constantly breaking things elsewhere, I’d say this is deliberate.
And she chooses things she knows you like. Sly and vindictive.

To piss the OP off. To punish her for not jumping to attention and altering the situation to MILs satisfaction when MIL gave her That Look about the DC running around.

OP I wouldn't have her in the house again. You can meet at a restaurant. None of these things are clumsiness. At best she's being nosey poking around where she shouldn't be, then carelessly breaking stuff whilst she's doing it and because she's feeling entitled to be nosey in the first place having an oh well shit happens attitude to your losses. At worst she's doing these things deliberately out of some kind of spite. My guess is she can't stand that she's not The Boss in your home. If she's passive aggressive I doubt you're imagining it. Sounds like barely concealed hatred of you, to me. Which is not necessarily anything to do with you, she may have felt this way about anyone her son was in a relationship with because she's perhaps one of these possessive types who can't let her DC fully grow up, go out in the world and live their own life, without feeling it's a personal insult that someone's stolen him away. Mothers like that are unhinged and basically see you as the OW. They just don't say it with words because they know it's not socially acceptable. They say it with behaviour instead.

I'd call her out on That Look next time. She'll deny it of course, but you'll be letting her know you're not going to tolerate it. Literally tell her to stop looking at you like that, there's nothing wrong with the DC running around in their own home playing before dinner and it doesn't make you a bad parent. I expect she wants them to sit down and give her an audience/entertain her. Like she's fricking royalty or something. Sees it as bad manners that they're not 100% focused on her the whole time she's there.

She sounds unhinged.

My mother does this. What she forgets is that people have cameras in places. I haven’t spoken to her in years but my sister says nothing changes.
i have a lovely piece of film on one of my old phones; sitting at my kitchen table and lifting up her mug and pouring coffee over the brand new tablecloth I’d just told her about. I’d foolishly nipped to the loo.

Yeah I’m with you, OP. I’ve known people like this. (Funnily enough, all of them grandmothers but I do believe that to be a coincidence)
Starts off accidentally-yet-purposely breaking your things and buying you gifts that she knows that you will be able to tell are secondhand for example but nobody else can tell, only you so nobody else clicks on to it. Then it escalates to playing your DH off against you, then cancelling things you have planned (if she has/knows the details, obvs) including flights/hotels/restaurant reservations/anything which can’t be proven was her, so you still look paranoid if you call her out on it in front of others.

I actually would genuinely get her to see a doctor. My grandmother became incredibly clumsy in the weeks prior to having a catastrophic brain haemorrhage.

It does sound like something I might do completely accidentally (I am very clumsy and have almost no spatial awareness...). But if I broke my DILs china I would be so mortified that I'd still be apologising six months later and I'd replace the whole set with something more expensive!

Tell DH to tell her she needs to replace it.

I think it depends. Some people are very clumsy. Does she break her own stuff or others or just yours? Did she apologise properly and offer to replace or compensate?

I'd trust your gut to be honest. The posters who are saying they can't understand why anyone would do this on purpose haven't come across anyone like this. Some people really do these things.

What does your DH think?. His opinion may not be all that helpful actually because he's grown up with her and cannot see the flaws in her personality.

Has MIL offered to reimburse?. How remorseful was she after the event?.

Do not have her in your house ever again. There is a boundary you can lay down. She cannot be trusted not to further break "your" possessions and this is not the first time some of your things have been broken or damaged.

People looking for a rational reason for someone to behave like this are indeed missing the point. There are indeed toxic, spiteful and vindictive people out there who do this sort of behaviour out of sheer nastiness and OPs mother in law is one such person.

No, I'd thought this too @godmum56 . Don't have Sky at the moment but there was never any 'delete everything saved' button! It would take effort to delete a load of saved shows as opposed to one where it could just about be accidental.

I can picture it happening. Reach up high and you knock lighter stuff down from below it.
It's how she reacted that counts.
I would immediately be on my phone to price up the damage, add some more for the trouble and transfer the money. I'd also be sending you flowers next week with a sorry message.

Put a ring camera and watch her next time

My MIL once commented that my Denby plates were terrible because she doesn't like dark crockery. I told her I did but it was ok because she didn't have to eat off them if she didn't want to. She told DH later on that I was rude. (He told her to be quiet). She also regularly buys us "gifts" of things that match what she has for herself, without asking if we want them.

So it could be something like that, she doesn't like them and thinks if they're broken it may become more to her taste. It's a control thing.