To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

My mother did this to me for years. It was deliberate out of spite. She’s a deeply unhappy and vindictive woman. It only stopped when I went to her house and did the same and asked if it was a fun game we were both playing. She’s never done it since. She ruined hundreds of pounds worth of items. Often things with sentimental value or special things I’d saved for. It’s hard for people who have never experienced this type of behaviour to comprehend. Especially that someone could do this to someone they’re supposed to love.

She just sounds reckless and careless with your stuff which is annoying in and of itself - she's not paying attention and doesnt even seem terribly apologetic.

Ask your husband to have a word with her about taking more care around the house.. Sounds like she just can't be arsed.

I’d set up cameras about the place as suggested but I’d have hidden mics and speakers too, and then connect them to my pc. Having made an excuse to leave the room for a few minutes, I would then watch what she does, hear what she says, and then I would speak to her through the hidden speakers “MIL, is that you? Did you just say XXXX?” Well of course she didn’t but she’s very spooked by your disembodied voice repeating what she just said, so she’ll do her best to look as innocent as always when you return.

When you do return, bring your laptop with you, playing the film of what she did, with sound and as much wondrousness as you can muster. Show her your ‘interesting’ film.

she will never come back.

I would put a nanny cam out next time she comes round and find out if it's accidental or not

Yeah I maybe over reacted a bit there. Probably because I see too many people using ADHD as an excuse for all kinds of bad behaviour, usually "self-diagnosed ADHD or for situations where someone who usually can control their impulses doesn't bother in other situations (e.g. can control at work, then uses it as an excuse to treat their partner like shit),

But if you're naturally clumsy then you don't usually play around with other peoples things or reach up onto high shelves in their houses, as you know you are prone to accidents.

I have combined adhd and I am clumsy. A simple Google search will show you that being clumsy is linked to adhd.

Even if I wasn't clumsy I wouldn't of been offended at someone asking.... because there is a link. No need for such a hostile response from you

Probably so they're out of reach of children. And horrible Grandmas

What the total fuck has ADHD got to do with being clumsy??? I'm not clumsy, I have off the scale ADHD. Neither is my brother, also ADHD. It is NOT a trait of that particular type of ND. Try reading up on things before you pronounce them as to blame for certain behaviours.

Denny is indestructible -that’s quite some achievement!

Who puts their dinner plates on a shelf so high up that they have to stretch up to reach them???

Is she horrible grandma from Friday Night Dinner?

I doubt its an accident.

It’s hard to understand, if you’ve never met people like this, just how destructive spiteful people are. They enjoy the distress of others - if you watch them they are looking for an intense emotional reaction to feed off. Really unpleasant

enjoyment.

I can't see it OP. What would she gain from doing that?

Was she apologetic or offered to replace it?

Do you think she enjoys the drama/attention that breakages create?

I’m with you. My MIL hates me (well it’s mutual) and she’s broken at least three of my late Nan’s family heirlooms!

Sounds like narcissist spite. Sorry about your Denby but you have a bigger problem. People who do this kind of thing like breaking people too, so no, don’t have her around, she’s a live one for your actual marriage. She clearly hates you

There’s nothing at all nasty about the original suggestion, if she is accidentally knocking things over a lot, that needs looking at and it sounds like DH is the most appropriate person to have that conversation with her

It's not excellent...it's quite nasty, and if the breakage was an accident, even more so.

There are a few people on here advising similar, making references to her becoming senile, having dementia, needing to go into a home etc...

Very childish.

This is excellent. Hopefully it will shame her into stopping her nasty behaviour

Paper plates and plastic cups for her from now on...

My mother,brother and my ex are like this

I used to dread her coming over,as in the ten minutes a week she'd be in my house,something would either get broken or stolen

I remember dd making a picture out of beads (I seem to remember you had to iron them to glue them together) and shed spent ages making it

As soon as my mother walked in,the beads went flying

No sorry,just 'you shouldn't have had them on the table'

She broke my phone,ripped 3 handbags,broke the heel of my shoe,ripped my bedding,poured bleach into my washing machine and pulled down my curtain rail

She'd walk in and if something took her fancy,she'd take it-chocolates,sweets,cleaning products,fabric conditioner and my shampoo where firm favourites

If I confronted her,the tears would start and then the smear campaign would kick in-she just had to get her story out there first-I'd see that smirk as I found the damage

My brother would go as far as to tamper with the brakes on the kids bikes-twice (I know it was him,I just can't prove it-hes the golden child and i was nc with him at the time,im sure it was him that broke into my shed)

He also broke the tv,free view box (twice), poured herbal tea over my new dress (knowing I'd saved ages to buy it),smashed a window (I had just nipped inside,leaving him outside with my mother and the glass just shattered apparently),ditto my garden table and stole the kids pet rabbit with hutch

My ex was a twat

He didn't want us to break up as he was losing control

Anyway,I'd saved up for ages to buy a cross stitch of a victorian girl putting a letter in a letter box

9 months later,I was about 10 stitches of finishing it and was so proud of my hard work

I saw him pour a pint mug of strong black coffee over it

He then tried to gaslight me by saying it wasn't his coffee,It was mine

I hate coffee-I've never liked it

He also stubbed out cigarettes on my (cheap but mine) new carpet,melted my bin, tried to break my (second hand but new to me sofa) and he sprayed strong hold hairspray down the back of my tv and tried to blame the kids (one was 18 months old and the other a newborn-eldest couldnt reach the bloody hairspray)

Loads more from all 3 but they are all acting on narcissistic spite

I'll guarantee its the same for your mil

Agree.

You can't predict what she'll choose next in your home to destroy so best to just keep her away.

Clearly the zillionth person thinking about horrible grandma

I’m afraid I couldn’t be doing with it. All visits going forward would be at her house or elsewhere.

You don’t have to put up with it but it’s probably pointless calling her out because she’ll deny it.