To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

Whilst there is no absolute proof (not that there ever is such a thing in real life) it is suspicious. Oops sorry I accidentally stretched myself vertically to the max to reach for the gravy boat and just happened to put my elbow in the EXACT position to knock your Denby off a higher shelf. Get lost! No-one repeatedly breaks someone else's possessions unless they are mentally ill or malicious. As for deleting the TV shows, again, I just don't believe you can accidentally do that, think of the actions that would be needed to do that. I'd suggest keeping an eye on her when she is around anything you value and ask if she is intending to reimburse you for the broken items. If she comes back with the waaah-I'm-a-poor-wee-vulnerable-pensioner act, that will tell you all you need to know.

Get your next door neighbour to come round and do some conjuring tricks.

It’s not random when the Op loves those plates, breaking cherished possessions is a good way to upset someone.
There often isn’t logic to people’s actions when they’re being spiteful.

I guess if she’s clumsy these accidents also happen to her own property or the property of others?
does she offer to replace any of these items or clear up the mess? If she did replace them then I’d lean towards accident…

Is she clumsy like this at home with her own stuff?
i would be livid tbh, about all three incidents and she just doesn’t sound respectful of you, was she giving DH the “look” too as I find nothing more annoying when people look to just one parent to deal with the kids!
Has she offered to pay for the damage to the plates or the Hoover, as accident or not, she should be offering?
To me it doesn’t sound like an accident, what did DH see?

Our Denby plates are pretty weighty. You don't just brush them with your elbow from a high shelf. Deleting saved TV shows? OP have a lie down and a biscuit and know that your gut is right. I would be feeling the exact same as you. MIL's can be savage and nasty. The things you mention aren't clumsy, they're planned!

I would disagree with this.

It is both OP and her dh's house. Anyone who is invited to the house will need consent from both.

There are times where I don't want visitors because I know the cleaning and tidying ahead of the visit will fall on me and I have no bandwidth to entertain. So I say no and dh respects that.

I would never allow that MIL to house ever again. End of. No more drama. And suggest MIL gets checked out for dementia.

Because I absolutely adore Denby, your post struck a very real nerve. She is a guest in your home and breaks your stuff, not once but time and time again🤷🏻‍♀️.

Id like to think positive about this lady, but this is happening too often to give her the benefit if the doubt - combined with the ‘look’ regarding the children.

It would be a long time before I invited her back, even if she voluntarily replaced every cherished piece of your Denby.

She might not consciously being doing it but she's consciously being considerate of your things and because you're the only one dealing with the consequences she's just saying woops

Or don't invite her round anymore saying you are too busy with preparing for the arrival and after the baby is born, with the newborn.

Who needs this judgey grief anyway.

Your dh can take his mother out for a meal with the kids, to give you a rest.

Agree with this.

It is relatively inexpensive to get multiple cameras set up on wifi set to trigger recording on motion sensors. There will be quite a lot of footage to wade through but you will know which room it occurred in and can zero in on the footage.

This!

My Denby plates have been dropped so many times into my slate tiles and they are amazing? I actually wish they would break as they are so old they have gone squeaky. No way can you break Denby by accident.

Jealousy, spite?

this.....Wheresthebeach have you any knowledge of this?....nope thought not.

"I'd have thought" ie I have never done this or tried to do it, I have zero idea what i am talking about but I will say it anyway.

Get a baby cam next time she is round and see what happens!

Nope, not an accident.
Plates were on a high shelf and she needed to stretch to reach them.
She's a toxic cow.

wrong thread

If it's impossible to do it by accident then it wasn't an accident. She's lying and is downright nasty. Time to only see her at her house where no doubt she'll be less accident prone.

My mother is like this. Constantly breaking stuff, leaving appliances on, etc. She’s clumsy and impulsive and I strongly suspect has undiagnosed ADHD (there is neurodiversity in our family). It may well not be deliberate in your MIL’s case. Doesn’t stop it being irritating though. Esp if you’re pregnant.

Even if it was an accident she should pay to replace what she smashed. A link to the Denby website with a rough estimate of replacement costs may do wonders for her coordination around your home. If it doesn’t then a suggested visit to the doctors may help.

I have a family member with exactly this mentality. You know yourself and your home, I’d say trust your instincts and ask DH to dig deeper whilst having a chat with MIL. See if the incidents continue after that

Have you ever tried erasing a show on a Sky box or similar? You have to do it deliberately, and you can't just do a "Select all, delete" like you can emails on a PC, she would need to go into each one to delete it. Apart from the question of why she's nosing around to see what is being recorded by someone else...

OP had put her very expensive china safely high up in the cupboard, high enough so you would need to stretch to reach the plates, yet "somehow" this was knocked down by an elbow. Why her MiL was poking around in the cupboard and trying to get to a gravy boat after dinner had been finished is, again, another question.

As various other posters have said, hard to tell for sure without knowing whether she's this clumsy and has so many accidents in her own home, though 3 times in a row of "accidents" happening during a visit does seem a little suspicious. Add in the rather pointed remark about parenting style and you get the feeling that the MiL isn't terribly fond of OP.

Horrible Grandma! 😂 Indeed.

Yes, you may need a lie down and a biscuit, but that doesn’t mean you should shrug off your spidey senses being triggered.

I’d be tempted to fit a camera, or few, for her next visit. However, until then, as a PP already mentioned, try to explore clarity over shelf safety to gauge her reaction, and surely, her response to this happening also probably tells you a lot. As in, remorseful (or not), however, something tells me that if your spidey senses have been triggered, (and you’ll know anyway if she’s been remorseful with previous ‘accidents’), you may already know the answer here.

To be able to confront her on it though, (or to just feel firm with boundaries even if you don’t want to confront her on it), you’ll need evidence.

You may need the evidence to get partner on board with the boundaries you decide to put in place.

She sounds a delight. Good luck!

You will never know for sure until you catch her in the act. Listen to your gut and get some wee cameras up!