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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let DD celebrate her birthday this year?

256 replies

BauerBorg · 01/06/2025 12:52

DD is turning 15 this week, but due to her behaviour over the past few months, we’ve told her there won’t be a party or any celebrations beyond a cake and a small present at home. She’s been pushing boundaries in every direction — talking back, lying, not pulling her weight at home, and even skipping school once. We’ve tried everything from grounding to talking calmly to involving school, but nothing has made a dent.

She was expecting a party and a shopping trip with friends, which we’ve now cancelled. She’s been in tears and saying we’re being unfair and ruining her birthday. I feel awful, but I also feel like we need to make a stand. She’s acting like she can do whatever she wants without consequence, and honestly, we’re both exhausted by it all.

DH agrees with the decision but keeps second-guessing it now that she’s giving us the silent treatment and making the whole house miserable.

AIBU? I don’t want to be cruel, but I also don’t want her thinking bad behaviour gets rewarded. Would love some outside perspective because it’s hard to see clearly when emotions are this high.

OP posts:
JaceLancs · 01/06/2025 12:57

I agree with no party, but would still give usual amount of gifts
Does she have time to show improvement to earn the shopping trip

CaptainFuture · 01/06/2025 12:56

Has she apologised for her behaviour? Shown any change?

FilthyforFirth · 01/06/2025 12:56

Never give punishments you cant follow through on. You've said it, its not unreasonable, stick to your guns.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 01/06/2025 12:55

I think not celebrating at all would be horrible. Seems perfectly reasonable to not have a party. Shopping trip with friends - up to her if she has money for it.

PersephoneParlormaid · 01/06/2025 12:54

Now you’ve said it you can’t back down.

Nearly50omg · 01/06/2025 12:53

if you give in now and change your mind she will be even worse as then it proves her bad behavior and crying and performing gets her what she wants

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