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Original poster

Only single friend in group - increasingly pissed off with comments

31 replies

JessCil · 01/06/2025 12:07

I regularly socialise with a group of about 6/7 friends - all have partners aside from me. This doesn’t bother me, most of us have been single at different times and my most recent relationship ended amicably about 1.5 years ago.

However, I am struggling a bit with the dynamic and it’s usually when we are out socialising as a group with my friends’ partners also there.

It is a couple of them in particular and it is like they are taking pity on me because I’m single. I feel like the ‘jokes’ have increasingly crossed the line.

We always do a secret santa and one of them got me a vibrator last year (opened in front of the group, I laughed it off but was hurt).

Last night, one of them overheard my conversation with a friend about how I’ve felt a bit down in recent weeks (work issues mainly). They chipped in and said I should get on the apps and a night with a ‘well endowed’ man would cheer me up.

I just find it tiring now, I don’t want to pull away from seeing my friends but it’s getting to the point where I may be better off not socialising when partners are there?

OP posts:
LogicalBlodge · 01/06/2025 12:11

I get tired of the when are you getting on the apps question too.

Just ignore it.

Also go out to some speed dating nights and singles nights (speed dating is fun).

And join some activities where you aren't hanging out with couples only.

IgneousSedimentary · 01/06/2025 12:11

I know you don’t want to pull away from your friends, but, bluntly, they sound like idiots. I have a mix of single and non-single friends and I can honestly say it has never for a moment occurred to me that a relationship was the solution to the single friends’ problems, unless they wanted one and were unhappy they weren’t in one. And that vibrator Secret Santa was cruel.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 01/06/2025 12:10

Ergh YANBU, why do some women join in with the old misogynistic idea that any problems women have can be solved with a shag.

TheDeepQuail · 01/06/2025 12:10

They won’t be so smug if they get dumped 😂 This says more about them than it does about you, honestly. If you’re happy then that’s all that matters.

Readytohealnow · 01/06/2025 12:09

The vibrator thing is crossing all acceptable boundaries and is really disrespectful. I would find new friends, via a hobby or mutual interest.

FWIW I was the single one for years. Met my lovely man mid 30s, him almost 40 and we are now the strong couple with many of the ‘smug settlers’ splitting up.

GetOffTheCounter · 01/06/2025 12:09

They sound immature and ghastly.

I'd see them on your terms only and perhaps seek to widen your circle.